Sorry, non-smokers, I have a spot in this world too.

The BBQ Pit
21

Guin: The effects of second-hand smoke can be and sometimes are exaggerated, but are apparently quite real, and dangerous to a fair number of people.

However, as a smoker myself who believes in treating non-smokers with respect, I’m with the OP.

If I am in an area set aside for smoking, you are being rude if you ask me not to smoke. Over 95% of the building is smoke-free; if you don’t like smoke, don’t hang out in the one area where smoking is permitted.

w/r/t alice in wonderland’s identification of an apparent contradiction in the OP, I construed it as:

"> (In an adjacent dorm room) If the smoke drifts through the wall and bothers you, tell me and I’ll put it out; I cannot see through the wall to tell that it’s bothering you.

> (In an open public place) Tell me and I’ll move; I choose not to put out something I bought and am enjoying."

Accurate, rilchiam?

22

Another smoker here who respects the rights of non-smokers to not be subjected to my habit.

I don’t smoke in my own home, so I can’t imagine smoking in anyone elses.

If I am in the smoking section of a very crowded restaurant I realize it’s possible that a non-smoker may be sitting next to me as that may be the only table available. I always ask if they mind if I smoke. If they are bothered I don’t light up.

23

Oh, phooey. I was thinking of two different situations. All right, let me rephrase the first example.

“If the smoke bothers you, say so.” I regret phrasing it the way I did originally. I might put it out, or I might move away/outside, whichever is the most viable option. I’ll accomodate people who don’t want to be around smoke, but I’ll choose how to do so. Shouldn’t have put it that way, but I was just gearing up.

When I gave the second example—“Don’t tell me to put it out”—I was thinking of a couple of incidents involving Mr. Rilch and cigars. Cigars are not cheap, and cigar smokers don’t light up unless they’re fairly certain that they won’t be censured and have to waste a perfectly good Excalibur. In the first case, he was smoking a cigar at an outdoor concert. He smiled serenely at the complainer and said, “Sorry, ma’am…it’s open-air and I was here first.” So she didn’t sit by us. In the second case, he was at a wedding. His friend begged him to put the cigar out, finally giving him what he’d paid for it. Another person wondered aloud why he was going along with it. “He’s my best friend…” Mr. Rilch grumbled. Meanwhile, there were two other people at the reception smoking cigars, but they were grandpa-age, and presumably known to be uncompromising.

And don’t tell me cigars stink, either. Only the cheap ones, the pieces-and-stems, poorly-wrapped, cab-driver-stogies smell bad. The quality ones are fragrant with elegance and luxury.

24

My husband was once smoking a cigar in the smoking section of a restaurant. We noticed a woman at a table (in the non-smoking section) making a fuss over something to a waitress, then pointing at him. Uh oh.

Sure enough, the waitress (not ours, she was handling the next section) comes over looking apologetic, and asks if he wouldn’t mind putting out his cigar - and he smokes very mild, quality cigars, so it wasn’t the stereotypical old-man-cloying scent of cigar. He agreed to do so, knowing that some ventilation systems can’t handle cigar smoke as well as cigarette smoke, and laid it on the ashtray to let it go out. The waitress seemed satisfied and left.

The other customer flagged down the waitress and began pointing and complaining again. The waitress returns and asks if he could please stub it out. My husband explains that he is letting it go out and it will only be another minute; then he can smoke it again later and it won’t stink up the place unlike stubbing it out. She asks apologetically if he could please do so anyway.

My husband sighs, and stubs it out in the ashtray. Immediately a nasty odor of ground-out cigar begins wafting everywhere (and it lingers for a fairly long time). He glances over at the complainer, who is obviously put out by this but has nothing to complain about since he’s doing what she wanted, and then at the waitress. She looks embarrassed, thanks him, and leaves.

This was a few years back; since that time the restaurant has apparently decided to switch their dining area to cigarette smoking and no-smoking only, but cigars are allowed in their bar area still. We continue to go there, as it wasn’t their fault that one woman was so impatient.

25

I don’t. It’s indeed the smoking section. Last table available or not, nobody forced the person to sit there. He could have waited for another table or gone to another restaurant. If he prefers to take the risk of being exposed to second hand smoke rather than going elsewhere, it’s his choice, and I don’t have to make me less comfortable in order to make him more comfortable.
As for the risks of second hand smoke, I would be interested in the results the (surely numerous) studies about second-hand car exhausts, second hand smoke from candles and second hand smoke from wood burning in the fireplace. I’ve a hard time believing that deposits on the clothes of a smoker could be more dangerous that deposits on the clothes of someone would walked in a polluted street.
I hope non-smoking nazis who think that people shouldn’t smoke in open air make everything they can to avoid to produce any kind of pollutant. In particular drive their car only went it’s absolutely necessary and only a car which has the lowest possible level of gas consumption (and there are many other way to release, directly or inderectly toxic products in the athmosphere). As long as they don’t do that, I’m going to ignore their plights.

26

poly: D’oh! I was in such a hurry to reply to alice I didn’t see your post! Yes, you got it right.

Soup: Not necessarily “chill”. What you should do is, as I said in the OP, is communicate. You said in the other thread that you couldn’t tell where the smoke was coming from. But if you could smell it in your room, it seems plausible that you would have been able to track it to its source.

Since it is your first week in this dorm, you should approach this person now and let them know that you can smell their smoke. They probably won’t like it much, but they’ll respond a lot better now than they will after having established a pattern of late-night smoking. If, after a few days/weeks/months, your ire is raised again, leading you to pound on their door and say something to the effect of “Do you KNOW that your smoking is keeping me awake all night? Jesus Christ!” they’ll just get mad right back.

Do you have an RA? Is there going to be a floor meeting, or a dorm meeting? (There should be.) Bring up the matter then, without speculating about the culprit(s). Perhaps a smoking curfew could be established.

But I can’t overemphasize the importance of talking things out early instead of letting them fester. One of my first roommates smoked, and had no problem with my smoking. Then suddenly, in November, she decides to quit smoking, and would I mind…? The RA backed her up, so there was nothing I could do but change rooms at the end of the semester. But boy did I not appreciate her switching gears. I also did not appreciate coming home one evening (just before she’d made her decision) and finding out she’d opened the windows in my room (it was a suite; three interconnected rooms) to “clear out the smoke”. In November. In the mountains. While I was freezing my patootie off on the way back to the dorm. So get it out in the open while you can, to avoid any “This is just coming up now?!” unpleasantness.

Guin: Dunno about anyone else, but I don’t necessarily view a “smoking section” as banishment. A cold damp garage would be bad for Grandma, but I’ve been in cold damp garages, and on decks and sunporches and backyards. I don’t mind. I like the ten-minute break, either alone and recharging my batteries, or with another smoker, talking one-on-one. If sending me outside is an attempt to humiliate me…guess what…it doesn’t work. Especially if it’s a beautiful night with a lot of stars, or a warm sunny day. I’m outside, experiencing it; everyone else’s candy ass is inside with the central air and artificial light.

And I don’t leave butts in anyone else’s backyard either.

On preview: All right, Mr.V!

27

clair: I see you’re in Paris. Lucky you! I’m in Los Angeles. Over the past decade, California has put a lot of restrictions on smoking. Now, I don’t have a problem with all of them. I have to admit, it is nicer to be in a restaurant without smoke. And if it comes to it, some places have patio areas where you can smoke. Smoke-free buildings are a good idea; as I said in the OP, I always know when I’m within the law. Outdoor ashtrays are a proscribed distance from doorways, and maintenance people know this and don’t move them. I’m not crazy about the tax, but California has the highest taxes on everything anywhere.

Now, smoke-free bars: that’s dumb. That aggravated me right up until I quit drinking. And I’m still sympathetic to people who do want to drink and smoke. I have noticed people bringing thermoses into cigar bars while the proprietors look the other way; I was kind of hoping for a reemergence of speakeasies, but if that is happening, it’s way underground.

Basically, I will bend a lot. But if the idea is to back me so far into a corner that I’ll say, “Gee, I guess I might as well quit,” it ain’t gonna happen. It’s my decision. Nobody conned me into quitting drinking; I made that decision on my own as well.

28

re: the topic…

Yes, you do have a spot in this world. About Six feet underground. Don’t expect me to hang around while you dig that grave, okay?

29

Jeez, Saint Zero, that’s pretty fucking rude, what did Rilchiam ever do to you?

30

You know, I quit five days ago, but this is worth it…

:fires one up:

:blows it in Saint Zero’s face:

Did anybody fucking ask you, or are you always a sanctimonious asshole?

31

**

We are not alone in this world, we share it with others. If we can somehow make our time here nice for someone else, it should be done. It comes down to being considerate of others. I’d like to know how you could possibly enjoy that cigarette knowing that you are interfering with someone elses meal.

Is it really such a problem to walk outside for 2-3 minutes to feed our addiction?

Honey

32

Honey- the flipside to that is “It comes down to being considerate of others. I’d like to know how you could possibly enjoy that meal knowing you are interfering with someone elses legal right?”

So few folks try to look at things from the other side.

FTR- non-smoker, hate smoking… but hate being told what to do even more.

33

Count me in as someone who can’t tolerate cigarette smoke. My mom smoked my whole life and alot of my family and I was always ok up until recent years. Now even a puff of smoke makes my eyes water and my throat tight, and I begin to cough really bad. I can smell smoke in clothing or furniture. Why this happened is beyond me, I lived around my whole life and it never bothered me- I try to be really considerate of smokers- and If i have to I will just leave the area, but what I hate is when someone starts smoking around me, and I get all wattery eyed and choked up, then the smoker acts like I am bothering them, like I am being dramatic by trying to leave. Either way can’t stand people who totally trip if someone starts smoking

34

Yes, smokers do indeed have a spot in this world, a special spot. If you want to see it, take an x-ray and look near their dear hearts on the lungs.

Farters have a place in this world too. It’s called the toilet.

35

Hear hear!

Having to go outside for a crafty fag is surely the best invention ever. Quite apart from the change of scenery, anyone else also nipping out becomes an instant pal. It’s probably the combination of the shared “vice”, the feeling of comradeship and the one-on-one situation.

It’s the perfect way to form instant bonds with complete strangers at parties, business events, work or random social gatherings.

(And us smokers will use the excuse of a fag-break when necessary in order to rescue other smokers from dull people - it only takes a a little signal from them, and salvation arrives in the form of a nicotine hit.)

36

“If sending me outside is an attempt to humiliate me…guess what…it doesn’t work.”

If you’re making a point about your aunt’s garage, I guess I can understand it but…I only stopped smoking a week and a half ago, and our house has been a no-smoking zone since we moved into it in 1999. The walls aren’t covered in nicotine. (If you smoke inside, think it isn’t happening to you? Try moving a picture you’vehad up for a while.) Our clothes don’t all smell like smoke. My lazy-ass self can leave clean clothes on the couch for a week and when I get around to folding them…WHAM, they still smell like clean clothes. No burn holes in the furniture or scortch-marks on tables. No huge crusties on my desk caused by ask mizing with whatever collected around the base of my cup.

So, I have kicked everyone out of my house who wanted to smoke. Including me. And I don’t think I was ever - not even in 40-degree nasty rain or lung-searing heat - trying to humiliate myself.

Smoking is gross. Smoking inside is gross. My sainted 80-something grandma has visited a couple of times…she smokes outside as well, no matter what the weather. I’ve never even had to ASK her to take a cigarette outside because she is polite and observant, and understands that her desire to fill herself with smoke does not necessarily include the right to fill everyone else’s area with smoke as well.

Everyone has the right to decide whether they’re going to smoke or not. No skin off my nose. But if you want to do it at my house, I don’t care if you’re 95 years old and in a wheelchair and it’s 25 Farenheit and pouring acid…you’re doing it outside.

37

Hama, I smoke, and since I’ve moved into the new place, I don’t smoke inside. Mr2U smokes outside now too. When we moved in, I washed every piece of furniture, every piece of clothing, every coat, etc. - and you know what? I love it! I ain’t burying my head in my clean clothes like I’ve just witnessed God or anything, but it is pretty neat - it’s like everything is new! And with the rent I’m paying, it’s nice to pretend something is new. Not like I could afford REAL new stuff. Anyway, I’m rambling. Sorry. You described it perfectly! :slight_smile:

I would also like to add, however, that:

From I am Spartacus

and let’s not leave out Saint Zero

Who pissed in your Cheerios?

Bite me, assholes.

38

I am Spartacus and Saint Zero, that was rude and unnecessary. I guess that just proves the point that non-smokers can be just as rude as the rudest smokers.

While smoking is legal and permitted in certains areas I will continue to smoke there.

Get over it.

Having said that, I’d like to say “Well Done” to everyone in this thread that have mentioned that they’ve quit the weed. That’s a damn hard feat to pull off.

SD

39

If only all smokers could be so polite! I have seen so many times smokers come into a nearly empty restaurant, sit directly behind me (with three children, one a baby, in my booth) and light 'em up! Piles of empty tables everywhere across the room and they come sit behind me and my kids to smoke! Makes me wish that I could pass gas at will so that I would not be the only one being stunk out!!

As for coughing, I used to choke back my coughs so that I would not offend the smoker, but I don’t do that anymore. I don’t exaggerate it, but I don’t hide it either. If it makes me cough, I cough. Just like I would if a car with excessive exhaust covered me with fumes.

My mom once asked a man to put out a cigar in a restaurant. She was very pregnant and she politely told him that it was making her nauseous. He refused, though she repeated her request a couple of times. Finally, she said that if she had to throw up she would do it in HIS LAP. You would have to know my mom to realize that this was not an empty threat. He put out the cigar.

Just one request–if you do go outside an establishment to smoke, I thank you. Only PLEASE don’t gather up just outside the door to do it! It creates a choking cloud to walk through before we even know what hit us. If you are in charge of an establishment that requires outdoor smoking, then do your smokers a favor–put the ashtrays a little further away from the door. If you put them just past the entrance/exit, you leave them little choice but to smoke there.

Occurrences like these have given smokers a bad reputation as being rude one and all. I’m glad that that is not truly the case!

40

Ahh - I see my misunderstanding now - yes, moving outside is perfectly reasonable.

I wish all smokers were as consideratate as the ones poking their heads in this thread. I’ve been with my 91 year old, twice-cancer-surviving Great Aunt out for a walk. It’s probably not that surprising that she needs to stop for a sit once and a while. We were on an outdoor bench, when a person came and sat down, and lit a smoke. Now they were perfectly within their right to smoke there, but my Great Aunt asked if they could please put it out, or at least wait until she was done resting, as the smoke bothered her. Basically, they guy told her to get stuffed. My 91 year old aunt. I told him he was a fucking prick and helped my aunt to a new bench (that positively delighted her - the prick part, not the new bench part).

As to people smoking in my house - hey - I have asthma - I don’t let people bring their cats over here either. I have a lovely deck off my living room that’s partially covered. There’s a lawn chair and a table. In the summer there are flowers. And yes, there’s even a mountain view. Don’t complain - just go. :slight_smile:

And finally, I am Spartacus and Saint Zero, I’m a pretty avid non-smoker, but both of you were way out of line. Being ignorant and obnoxious doesn’t really do anything to help anyone. Grow up.