Sould we add Jesus to the cast of Star Trek: Enterprise?

Cafe Society
21

Either the Enterprise would be having great fortune all the time or be encountering great misfortune. Probably the later. Jesus always hung around with the sinners. Guess he’d fee right at home then.

Archer to Jesus: “That’s not standard issue crewman! And get that hair cut!”
Jesus waves hand and Archer is turned into a pile of salt.

Actually, wouldn’t Jesus be saying to Hoshi, “If Aramaic is good enough for me…”

Jesus: “Dad said He liked your work when He was leaping you around. Now it’s my turn.”

22

You obviously aren’t from Texas.

I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

The sinners are much more fun

Oh, only the ____ die _____

23

Did Mr. Good treat Mr. Crosby, Mr. Stills, and Mr. Nash’s hair too?

24

Danger! Danger! Andrew Lloyd Weber might need to write the new theme music.

What’s the buzz, a-tell me who’s a-Vulcaning…

25

Jesus was way cool. He could turn water into wine. And, if he wanted to, he could turn wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine and vitamins into amphetamines. Jesus was way cool.

26

ARCHER: “Lieutennant Jesus, you dropped your medical scanner again.”
JESUS: “Sorry, sir, it keeps falling through my hand.”

27

Being how Enterprise likes to recycle old scripts, lets rip-off the TNG episode where they clone Kahless…Clone Jesus with the Shroud of Turin!

28

Phlox on karoke night sings Webber’s, “pie jesu, pie jesu, pie jesu, pie jesu - qui tollis peccata mundi dona eis requiem - dona eis requiem.”
The audience turns as one and tosses Boston creme pies at Jesus.

29

I’ve heard of a spike in the Warp Core, but this is rediculous. But if the spike causes a breach we’d all get nailed!

DaLovin’ Dj

30

Then Mayweather, with a host of scantily clad Xindi angels would sing:

*Ba - Cu - La

Quan - Tum - Star

WHO are you

WHAT do think you are?*

31

Q Squared by Peter David. One of my favorite books by my favorite author.

32

NCB, your reposts are composts and compotes. Aes, I will mail your tape tomorrow. Peter David is the tits. Good books, man.
I never should have brought up That Jesus Movie. (Like That 70s Show. You know, the Passion thing. What have we wrought? Rot?

When that chiropractor warned me that I would wonder later what the crap he had done, he wasn’t kidding.

We need readjustments. Things that make us crackle and crunch.

NCB, you gonna eat that?

33

Kum bah yah, my Lord, kum ba yah

Someone’s warping, Lord, give him energy

Someone’s barking, Lord, give him cheese

Someone’s injured, Lord, give him leeches

Oh Lord, kum bah yah.

Does Blue Relief gel really contain emu oil?

34

Jesus walks into Ten Forward, up to the bar, and places a handful of nails in front of Guinan. He says, “You think you can put me up for the night?”

Oh wait, that’s the wrong Enterprise, sorry.

If Pholx and Jesus do a musical number, it would have to be… Surgens Jesus! (Link to PDF sheet music. And that’s a damn hard song to sing, let me tell you.)

35

Wow, raise someone from the dead before they’re born…

that would call for a whole new testiment.

But the shroud turns out to be a fake and they clone a 12th century religious artifact fraud.

36

I’m sorry, but the image that conjures up is just … wrong somehow.

37

I can’t believe I’m the first person to point out that the Jesus of the ST universe is clearly Spock.

  • Resurrection

  • God/Man duality in the form of Vulcan/Human duality

  • Green blood. (I assume that Jesus had green blood)

38

It sure doesn’t look green.

39

What does Mel Gibson know? This was a guy born in the Middle East and he’s portraying him as a blue eyed caucasian. I think **Revtim ** might be on to something here.

40

You know, there are a few times in your life where you’re reading a thread, and you read a statement and say to yourself, “You know, there’s absolutely nothing I could possibly add to that.”

Then you go back to bed.