You should listen to Crispin Glover’s music, then. He’s pretty convincing.
As for me, I can’t stand the sound of anything sandy or grainy (include sugar and salt) grinding against something. I used to just hate the feeling of, say, walking on the beach, but eventually the sound started getting to me, too.
I also hate the sound of really, really, really rapid speakers doing their damnedest to keep someone else from talking. My sister does this all the time until she gets her way… stupid bitch…
the sound or people scraping there fork against there teeth when they eat.
The beep-beep when a truck/bulldozer, etc. is backing up.
My name being called in a tone that means either I have to do something or I’m in trouble.
…and this is pretty random, but on the kid’s show Cyberchase (kids solve the shows problem using math), when they’re doing their calculations or whatever, there’s this sound of a computer or printer or something constantly running, and I have to leave the room when I hear it sometimes.
Yeah, I know. Get help.
Bagpipes.
People chewing gum with their mouths open, especially with cracking sounds.
Sirens or car horns in commercials while I’m driving.
The “rreeoowww” of a terrified cat.
A jackhammer.
A dentist’s drill.
Singing or playing an instrument flat.
Rap.
Florence Foster Jenkins (if you don’t know who she was, you don’t know how lucky you are).
Leaf blowers
Any mouth sounds while eating. Drives me irrationally buggy.
Kids whining. Like a papercut to the spine.
My alarm. Which is exactly why I chose it - something so horrendously annoying that I’d wake up just to stop listening to it.
Kids. Laughing, crying, chattering etc. I’m just not a fan of kids.
Also people sitting near you in a quiet room and breathing through their noses. Grrrrrr
People eating peaches, cereal with milk, etc., not being careful to eat genteelly. That wet sloppy lippy semi-slurping noise with a bit of crunch in it is enough to make me gag.
That shushing/squeeking sound that permanent markers make.
People who smack constantly while eating.
The sound of crunching metal while I’m behind the wheel of a vehicle.
slurping soup.
I feel like I’ve finally found my real family. I HATE eating noises! the worst is when the person breathes in as they shovel the food into their mouth. It makes an unutterably loathesome sound that I can’t describe and which waaaay too many foley artists use for people who eat disgustingly. I have to fast forward over the messroom scene in Hunt For Red October because of all the lip smackin’ grossness they’ve dubbed over Connery as he eats and talks.
My roomie might well die one day. He eats like Homer Simpson on a bad day.
I hate loud televisions. I just can’t stand a regular television that is turned up so loud that it makes my ears hurt. That frequency range just annoys me.
The sound of an engine falling out of a car when the motor mounts break when doing 45MPH. Fortunately, my “OH SHIT!!” covered it up a little.
The sound of one of my dogs crying out in pain 
The sounds some other people make when they are eating. Some folks are just noisier and it drives me up the wall. I am glad to see I am not alone.
That little silence between the skidding of tires and the impact of metal. Makes me cringe, because I know what’s coming.
Slamming doors is my number one. I fucking hate that noise with a passion.
The Lithuanian kid I live with eating. The two East Europeans I lived with both sound like a bunch of hogs eating a body someone wants rid of, so I assume this is acceptable over there. It’s fucking not if i’m sat 2 feet away from you.
Any kind of high pitched noises. Due to the amount of gigs i’ve been to, high end noises fuck my ears up big time. Whistling, clapping, brake screeching. Ow.
Oh, God, I second the beeping backing up truck noise. Aargh!
Other lowlights:
Babies, not just crying, but squalling. God, that just sets my teeth right on edge.
The sound of a cat in the next room getting ready to cough up a hairball. I just think, “Oh, God, not again.”
But my least favorite would have to be a ringing telephone. Especially on a TV show or in a movie where they won’t. Answer. The. Damned. Phone. And it just goes on and on and ON and ON and ON…
Hillary Clinton’s voice.
The sound of tissues being rubbed together, and any similar sounds : rubbing of socks on cheap carpet, fork dragged across paper napkin …
Gives me goosebumps and makes my hair stand on end.
pouring of water from a container into a glass or bowl. for some reason, it makes me want to kill. Piezo alarm buzzers, high pitched alarms, and trance music all have the same horrible effect.
The local news station that puts the “clack clack clack clack ding clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack ding clack clack…” of teletypes behind the anchors as a background noise to give the impression that they’re working for a TV station that’s so comically behind the times that they A: still have teletypes and B: are so small that the anchors are in the same room as the noisy machines that most stations replaced with computers in 1985 or so.
I’ll “me too” the votes for any utterances by children and noisy eaters.
Ad-Aware’s SPLAARBBBP noise. At least that’s fairly easy to turn off in the program’s preferences.
Another hater of “light jazz”
Any of the current crop of “diva” singers - especially the ones that can’t hit anything over middle C without a ladder but try anyway, only to annoy me and my dog and stretch syllables to five - bay-yay-ay-yay-bee.