That’s a strange means of locomotion…
Promenade across the floor,
sashay right on out the door,
out the door and into the glade,
and everybody promenade.
Step right up, you’re doin’ fine;
I’ll pull your beard, you pull mine;
yank it again like you did before,
break it up with a tug of war.
Now into the creek and fish for the trout,
dive right in and flap about;
trout, trout, pretty little trout;
one more splash and come right out.
Shake like a hound dog, shake again,
wallow around in the old pigpen,
wallow some more, you all know how;
roll around like an old fat sow.
Allemande left with your left hand,
follow through with a right and left brand;
now lead your partner, the dirty old thing;
follow through with an elbow swing.
Grab a fencepost hold it tight,
whomp your partner with all your might;
hit him in the shin, hit him in the head;
hit him again, the critter ain’t dead.
Whomp him low and whomp him high,
stick your finger in his eye.
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound;
bang your heads against the ground.
Promenade all around the room,
promenade like a bride and groom.
Open up the door and step right in,
close the door and into a spin.
Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl,
jump all around like a flying squirrel.
Now, don’t you cuss and don’t you swear,
just come right out and form a square.
Now right hand over and left hand under,
both join hands and run like thunder;
over the hill and over the dale.
Duck your head and lift your tail.
Don’t you stray and don’t you roam,
turn around and promenade home.
Corn in the crib and wheat in the sack,
turn your partner and promenade back.
And…that…is…all!!
La, dee, dee, dee, dah, dee, dee, dee, la, dee, dee, dee… abraca-pocus!
Walla Walla, Washington.
Are you in, Genius?
Oh, I’m game all right…
You’re dethpicable!
Whatsa matter? Everything’s upside-down… That’s strange. Can’t make heads or tails of things…
That’s the ol’ pepper, boy… that’s the ol’ pepper.
I knew I shoulda toined left at Albaquerque.
HIMALAYAS!!! That’s in Asia!! No wonder I’m so cold…
Gad zooks! I’ve been drafted!
Of course you realize this means war…
Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHhHHh theatre collapses
Slight pause whilst I adjust my accoutrements.
Get along horsey!, Giddy up horsey!, Hi ho horsey!, Get along little pony!, Giddy up!,Giddy up horsey!, Come on horsey!, Come on horsey!, Look at me go!, Look at me go!, Look at me I’m a riding sidesaddle!, I’m a riding sidesaddle!..Well I am!
Horses is so stupid.
What a maroon.