This is the most recent iteration of “Teach a Man to Fish” to enter my consciousness:
Oh, Jon, you so funny.
I imagine the same encounter between President Trump and a college student.
Trump: “Hey, hippy, what are you doing? This is my lake. All the fish in it belong to me.”
Student: “This is a public park.”
Trump: “I’m the President. That means everything in the country belongs to me.”
Student: “I don’t think that’s true.”
Trump: “Don’t believe what you hear on the Fake News.”
Student: “Okay, whatever. I’m leaving anyway. There aren’t any fish in the lake.”
Trump: “That’s because illegal immigrants ate them all.”
Student: “What?”
Trump: “Listen before you go, you should buy this fishing pole. Only a hundred dollars. And it’s the greatest pole ever.”
Student: “That’s my fishing pole.”
Trump: “Not anymore. Sad.”
Maxim 21: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he’s lucky just to be alive, and he’ll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
—The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries