From the Homeland Security Website:
**Alert Condition: Probable Threat:**
Yellow Terrorists are living in your basement
Orange Bert *is* Osama
Red The terrorists have already won
Mauve Your neighbor is a prostitute
Violet Your socks are mismatched
Indigo Pauly shore is dating your sister
Yeah, “Fabulous” is probably closer to the mark.
Fabulous! Incredible! Unbelievable!
Pauly Shore dating my sister should be MUCH higher on the list.
Pauly Shore dating my sister would be cause for nuclear retaliation. :eek:
I didn’t know particlewill was in that Jackass movie!
What I don’t get is how can we now be expecting a spectacular attack but not upgrade our color.
(gee, this wouldn’t have anything to do with get some legislation through would it?)
I love these warnings. I think we should take a vote and decide if people even WANT to keep getting this ridiculous, panic inducing “warnings”. They’re unsubstantiated and just get everyone all worried for (usually) nothing. We’re on high alert, what the fuck more do they want?
The newest one I heard was an attack on a hospital. Possibly a bomb or anthrax. So what, exactly, does a “warning” do for me, Joe Hospital Worker? Should I just call in sick for a while? What the fuck???
The govenment, the media and the FBI have done more to terrorize the US citizens then Osama and company could have dreamed possible.
Fuck you, FBI and terrorists. I’m going about my life- flying, working, dancing, and fucking. You go about yours and let the chips fall where they may.
A coward dies a hundred deaths, and I’m sure as fuck not going to sit around wondering where the “next strike!” may be, or how fucking “Spectacular” it is.
Slow down, Zette—you’ll wear yourself out by New Year’s!
Does this mean that if I don’t hire a terrorist to whack me on the shins, the dwarves will have already won?
COOL! GIMLI TRIUMPHS!!! 
Yeah but then after some shit goes down, everyone cries and bitches that we were never warned and what preventive steps were taken, blah blah whine whine, sob sob.
They are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.
Hell no, Eve- I did all that today before lunch time!
Reminds me of the decision a few years back to wail our tornado sirens for “major thunderstorms” as well as tornadoes. You know, because it’s sooo hard to know when a major thunderstorm is imminent.
Needless to say, the tornado siren went off a lot that spring. The first time it went off, conditioned like a Pavlovian dog I leapt out of bed, grabbed the kids by whatever body part I could find, and catapulted us all into the basement in record time. My husband, who was still in the living room watching a ballgame, looked down the stairs and calmly informed us that they were ringing the siren because Quintuple Doppler indicated a severe thunderstorm in the area.
Anywho, as you can imagine, by the FIFTH severe thunderstorm we all had conditioned ourselves to barely react to the siren. Naturally, it took a real live tornado, which [i[just so happened* to have been accompanied by a severe thunderstorm, to change the policy back.
For some reason, these warnings kind of remind me of the pitch on the new Cascade box: No need to pre-rinse! NEW and IMPROVED Cascade with Enzymes will simply dissolve most kinds of food.
[…pause…]
Most kinds? Which kinds? How do I know whether I need to pre-rinse a particular plate or not? Does the NEW and IMPROVED Cascade dissolve eggs? Cake batter? Dried ketchup?
Since I don’t know which kinds of foods fall into “most kinds”, I still have to pre-rinse everything!
With these warnings, same same. A “spectacular” attack might happen at the Mall of America for all I know.
Taupe.
I think the FBI needs to update their calendars. The election was last week.
They’re going to blow up a Lenscrafters.
[sub]get it? “spectacular” … never mind[/sub]
After the next attack we should all hold up signs with numbers between one and ten printed on them to indicate just how spectacular we thought it really was.
The East German judge would skew the average score, though.
Interestingly I just heard on the news that the FBI is saying that the government’s warning of spectacular attacks is not based on any new information.
I guess they just wanted us hyped up for the holidays.
Interesting stuff.
But it’s not quite true.
See, the FBI just put the “warning” in their regular bulletin to law-enforcement types. It’s publicly available publicly available (as it should be), but it’s not issued to the public.
This week, they just made the obvious point that Binny and his friends like high-profile targets and used the apparently unfortunate word “spectacular.” The media picked it up as a “new” warning, but it’s not. Here’s last week’s edition of the same publication.
According to MSNBC, “FBI officials, in fact, believe the message in the bulletin is being overplayed and overstated by the media.”
No No No, the Spetacular attack will be Maid in Manhattan! Spetacualrly evil!