Spider noises: is this real?

[Manduck]

I swear I heard a spider whistle once.

[brownsfan]

Listen, I’m not a mod, but I’m gonna try to close this thread now through ESP or something. Nothing on this planet is worse than spiders.

About 9 years ago I found a spider’s web hanging from a rain gutter housing a spider about half the size of my hand. I live in Ohio, so it doesn’t seem possible that a tarantula-sized spider is a permanent resident. But there it was. All I remember is it was greenish, and I gave that door a wide berth until winter.

My WAG is it came in on a banana shipment, and died once it got cold.

Sorry for the hijack; I don’t see too many spider threads, and I’m freaked out typing about spiders. I want my 15 bucks back if you keep talking about spiders. Stop it now.

[Johnny_L.A]

@Telperien

I predict you will now sleep with the light on.

No, you don’t want to do that.

You don’t want to see what comes out at night.

While you’re asleep.

And defenceless.

[Telperien]

@Johnny L.A.

No, you don’t want to do that.

You don’t want to see what comes out at night.

While you’re asleep.

And defenceless.

Well, if they come out when the light is on, I can see them and swat them with my bugswatter. I won’t be sleeping, though. Dunno about OneCentStamp, but I’d be cowering in fear, curled up to my smallest, said bugswatter in hand.

[Chronos]

Clearly what you need is something else to keep watch and kill the bugs for you, so you can sleep in peace. May I recommend a spider for this purpose? They’re very good at it.

[chorpler]

@Telperien

Well, if they come out when the light is on, I can see them and swat them with my bugswatter. I won’t be sleeping, though. Dunno about OneCentStamp, but I’d be cowering in fear, curled up to my smallest, said bugswatter in hand.

The ones that are strong enough to come out when the light is on just sit there under the swatter surface, laughing, before they slice through the swatter with one easy motion of their Schwarzenegger-esque jaws and scurry up the handle, rush up your arm and into your sleeve, and quickly carve “I’LL BE BACK” in the flesh of your stomach before Disapparating completely!

[Johnny_L.A]

Spider Noise! Spider Noise!
For girl spiders
From Spider Boys!

[Telperien]

@chorpler

The ones that are strong enough to come out when the light is on just sit there under the swatter surface, laughing, before they slice through the swatter with one easy motion of their Schwarzenegger-esque jaws and scurry up the handle, rush up your arm and into your sleeve, and quickly carve “I’LL BE BACK” in the flesh of your stomach before Disapparating completely!

Mommy!

Chronos and chorpler are trying to make me have nightmares!

[kittenblue]

I think it’s unfair that the video cuts off just as things get interesting. I’m curious as to whether his approach worked…she seemed rather bored…or dead…

[Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist]

I must say…it didn’t work for me. I dunno, I think he was coming on a bit too strong.

Nope, I definitely would not have sex with that spider.