Spider Thread!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Spider story time kids! My one just happened. I’ve been at Orientation Week for University and came home at 6:30 pretty drunk because I’d been given two glasses of champagne on an empty stomach. I ate dinner and went to bed at ten to nine. At nine-thirty, I get a call from Nanna checking if I’ll be at lunch tomorrow. To grab the phone, I’ve run to the master bedroom, turned on the light and picked up the phone.

After hanging up, I get to the door and turn around to turn off the light and close it. And there it is.

About the size of the back of my hand and about a foot or so above the bedside table. Fortunately, not the one I’d just been sitting next to, otherwise I would have died of a heart attack whilst on the phone. So I put on clothing, open the appropriate doors and turn on the lights before grabbing a plastic container and a piece of paper. Wolfie gets turfed into the courtyard and promptly scrams. I get back inside and do the Icky Dance accompanied by shrieks to rid myself of Icky Forces.

And then I go to my computer to post it on the Dope, now stone cold sober.

Share your spider stories!

2

I used to be completely phobic about spiders to the point where I couldn’t go into a room where I knew there’d been one, even if I knew it wasn’t there any more.

Eventually I decided I was just being such a wuss about it and it was time to tackle the problem. I signed up for an arachnophobia session at a local zoo and by the end of the day, I’d got pretty friendly with Geri - definitely one of the best days I’ve ever had. I felt so proud of myself afterwards!

3

Didn’t read the OP, but it’s not ‘thread’, it’s ‘silk’. Sheesh.

4

You’re braver than me. I’d have fired on it. Seriously.

5

Well I’m okay with spiders because I have a greater loathing of other insects that tend to feed spiders. But I will only allow huntsmen spiders in because they are relatively harmless and don’t spin webs. I can’t handle having web silk on me. Oogies me right the hell out.

And they can’t fucking touch me. I’ll die right there on the spot.

6

Okay…that’s more like it! You’re back in the “Screaming Chick” club. :wink:

7

Okay, I love spiders, including yours. I love all insects across the board. They make me squee with delight.

All… except one. One fine day I found THIS on my bathroom wall.

(Not a spider–NOT for the squeamish-to-insects types out there.)

I’m still convinced it’s not an earth-bound life-form. For the first 20 minutes of it sitting there I was certain it hated me. I could feel its ill will.

And that is all. :slight_smile:

8

Yeah, I developed my spiderfobia realitively early in life. I was spending the night at my grandparents house and was startled awake in the middle of the night to something scratching on my chest. I woke up to be eye to eye with a FREAKING HUGE wolf spider on my chest. Scared the holy begeebus out of me. I hadn’t been scared of spiders before then, but I have been ever since. I’m getting better about it, but I’ve still got a long way to go.

9

I encountered a spider today for the first time in a long while…not surprising, since I have made avoidance of spiders a priority in my life. Fortunately, it was just a small one, about the size of a dime, strolling through the kitchen.

One of my cats came along just at that moment and I indicated the spider. Just to please me, he tapped it a couple of times before losing interest completely. The spider was unfazed.

Then my second cat came along. Again I indicated the spider. This cat was also willing to give it a tap. This time, the spider clung to his paw for a moment. He made a face of disgust and set it firmly aside.

Being out of cats, I was forced to put on a shoe and squash the spider myself before it could get away under the stove. It popped like a zit and vanished, however, I could not shake the feeling that it was somehow still holding to the bottom of my shoe, just waiting for a lapse in my attention to crawl up my leg and get me…

Yes. Yes. Damned no-good cats!

10

Spider Thread! Spider Thread!
Fills arachnophobes full of dread!
Turn around to shut the light
And receive a crawly fright!
Look out! This is a Spider Thread!

11

Aieeee! An earworm!

12

That reminds me of the mechanical “bug” in The Matrix. Dirty!

13

What in the name of Satan and all his unholy minions was that thing??? :eek: It had a gazillion legs like a centipede, but the back few pairs looked a helluva lot like grasshopper lags. As in, it sure looks like that thing can JUMP!

I believe it is an alien life form and I too can feel its hatred. I think it’s infected my computer :mad:

14

Huh. Seeing the title of this thread made me remember that I had a nightmare last night about spiders. That’s literally all I can remember about it: it was a dream, it wasn’t pleasant, and it had spiders in it.

I think I’m fine with that level of recall.

15

I don’t get much time out of the city, so when something comes up like Christmas or New Year, I try to get do it much as possible.

I go down to a friend’s caravan in a resort at Kiama.

Anyhoo…

So I’m driving down for the weekends and stuff - down one day (Drinky Drinky Chatty Chatty Swimmy Swimmy Drinky Drinky) then back up to work the next day. And it’s working fine. And I did this for New Years Eve.

So, I drive back to Sydney New Years Day and I get home, and I am lonely and nobody loves me and I think this as you are wont to do when hungover andhaving to spend NY Day WORKING while everyone else is out having fun.

“I am the ONLY person I know who is Not Having Fun on New Years Day and I Do Not Want to do this today.”

So I packed the car up again and drove back down. And we had a great day (Drinky Drinky Chatty Chatty Swimmy Swimmy Drinky Drinky), and I return to work very much refreshed.

Fast Forward to Wednesday.

Morning! I feel great. I say “I feel Great! And Hello! World!” as I am walking to my car. I open the driver’s side door and what should greet me?

The interior of my groovy little black car is FESTOONED with spider’s web. I truly never appreciated the real meaning of FESTOONED until I saw this sight. FESTOONED! I tell you FESTOONED!

But it is early and i am in a good, if blonde mood, and i think "Oh well, I’ll just clear them out!

So i go and get the dustpan brush and I’ve just about finished happily ridding my car of these cobwebs when a thought strikes me

And I say this:

“Big spidersweb must mean big… Sp… sp… sp… Eep!”

So I’m thinking "where’s this bloody spider?’ and i’m looking around the car, and I spy…

behind the passenger sun visor…

a huge FUCKING HUNTSMAN! TALLER than the sun visor. I kid you NOT!

Me: Eepp
Huge Fucking Huntsman: [Clearly sleeping and not bothering anyone] Grrr!
Me: …
HFH: Grrrr
Me: [Cry]

So I run inside and pick up the phone and call my friend D. He answers.

D: Hello D speaking.
Me: …
D: Hello???
Me: … eep
D: Hello??? is anyone there?
Me: [Bursting into tears.] There’s a huge fucking huntsman in my car! There’s a huge fucking huntsman in my car!

D: [Obiously unaccustomed to my profanity.] Well, I’m clearly at work, and you’re clearly at home! Go and see if Alex next door can get it out for you.
Me: Ok.

So I go next door… and guess what ALEX ISN’T HOME and he’s on holidays for goodness sake! Who goes out at 7am when they’re on HOLIDAYS?

So I go inside and grab a broom with a long handle hoping to sweep the beastie out of the car. Only I can’t. I can’t even get the broom close to it, because I start shaking and burst into tears and I can’t hold the broom steady.

So… I stood out on the footpath for about 15 minutes, CLEARLY looking distressed, in hope that some nice dogwalker who’s not afraid of spiders would come to my rescue.

BUT NO.

And the clock is ticking and I have an 8.30am meeting and it’s like OH MY GOD 8AM!

So I gather up all my courage and knock on the door of my other neighbours.

Tom: [Opening door] Hello!
Me: Eep!
Tom: Oh Cheridan! How are you chatty chatty talky talky!
Me: SPIDER… IN… CAR! [Points] You… scared… SPIDERS???

So this lovely old fella dons some gardening gloves, goes to my car and I do not lie, he PICKS IT UP! Just like that! He PICKS IT UP and he puts it on the grass.

AND IT IS HUGE! Remember when way before I said it was HUGE! I was under-exaggerating. This thing is like… BIGGER THAN MY CAR!

Check it out.

Me: Eepp…ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou
ThankyouThankyouThankyou
Tom: [Greek accent which he’s had all the way through, I just forgot to write in] Heheh no worries. Any time you have spider in car, come to me!
Me: ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou

Only when I was on my way to work did I realise that I had seen a few strands of spidersweb in my car since the SECOND MORNING IN KIAMA.

I had been driving with that monster in my car for nearly A WEEK.

16

I wish I could find again a Doper thread wherein someone linked to a series of photos which were taken in a private home. The first photo showed a round clock hanging on the wall; if you looked closely, you could see little dark feet sticking out all around the edges. The next shot was taken after the clock was removed; underneath was living a GIGANTIC HONKING SPIDER whose legspan was big enough to protrude from under the edges of the largish wall clock.

I’m not a spiderphobe, yet those photos got to me to the point where I check under the wall clocks before I take them down for resetting at daylight savings time.

17

While living on Oahu, I had gone shopping at Pearl Ridge Mall. I left the windows rolled down in my old beater of a car, because the doors didn’t lock anyway. I finished shopping, returned to the car, opened door, sat down, deposited bags on passenger seat, closed door and looked forward to discover a HUGE banana spider on the steering wheel of the car.

I did not open the car door.

I exited through the window. With a quickness.

Then I did the Icky Dance in the parking lot, emitting small squeaks of dismay, until a kind passer-by reached in and removed the spider from the steering wheel. He had just been sitting there laughing at me, knowing that he was safe because I would never have the nerve to confront him.

18

Heh. I looked up some images of banana spiders, having never seen one before, and thought they looked pretty much like your average garden web spider.

Then I came across a photo which showed their scale

19

Clock Spider

20

See this video of a Goliath spider catching & eating a mouse