No, not the urban legend where the girl gets a huge zit and it finally pops and baby spiders run out all over the place.
But AAAAAUGH. I’m sitting here typing and all of a sudden this out-of-focus SOMETHING drops into my field of view, an inch or two away from my left eye. I jumped back with a yell and got a better look at it, and it was one of those weird little pale yellow spiders so common around here, just dangling and waiting for me to smush it into oblivion between the soles of a hastily grabbed pair of shoes. Which I did. Splut.
This is not the first time this has happened.
The handful of times I’ve seen spiders drop from a ceiling, it’s always been INCHES in front of my face. Not 5 feet away, not halfway across the room; right in my face. And they HANG there. They don’t continue down past my chin; they stay at eye level, rubbing their front legs together and chortling evilly like Snidely Whiplash as I trip jumping backwards over my chair. Eeek icck oog ick yurgh bleagh. Why do they DO that? Have they no sense of self-preservation?
Dunno if it was on SDMB or not, but I remember reading about someone who had an aversion to spiders, and when one came down as the OP describes, he foolishly blew it out of his face with a puff of air, such that Mr. Spider rode his tiny trapeze right onto this person’s face.
Indeed, it’s not the ones you see that you should be scared of…it’s the ones you don’t see. I can remember watching a spider slowly crawl across my ceiling towards my bed one night. But just as it came close enough to throw something at it, it just disappeared…so like a fool I went to sleep…to wake up in the morning with friendly Mr. Spider a happy 6 inches away from my face on the wall my bed rests against. :eek: Now I’m not that affected by spiders but gosh darn it, until I’m fully conscious I only want to see 4 limbs per animal, thankyou.
Holy crap Miss, I think I’d wet myself with both tears and urine if that happened to me. I was skeeved enough when I saw one crawling across my pillow back in one of my dirtier houses in college. Then I met a Toughie for the first time… I believe they’re called silverfish. In any case, I think I can handle an earwig now. Hell, Toughies eat spiders for breakfast! Seriously!
Yeah, what’s up with the face level thing? They never hover in front of your hand, or leg, or any other part. Same thing with their webs. If you walk through a spiderweb, it will always be in front of your face. It’s like a kind of Murphy’s Law. Arachnid’s Law, I guess. Spiders and/or their webs will always hit you in the face.
Those little pale yellow guys are mean. One time I was sitting on my patio and I saw one come strolling from waaaay over on the other side towards me. So I sat there and watched him. And it unfolded kind of like the steamroller scene in Austin Powers. I just watched him as he came slowly towards me. And then up the chair I was sitting on. And then just like that he crawled on my hand and bit the hell out of me. Little bastard.
When I have a million dollars, I’m going to buy a flamethrower and incinerate every goddamn spider I see. If I burn down a house or building or car or airplane while doing so, well, that’s acceptable collateral damage.
[channeling Garret Morris] Iiiii’m gooooonnnnnaaaa…get me a flamethrower and burn every spider I seeeeeee
I’m gonna get me a flamethrower and burn every spider I seeeeeee
After I burn every spider I see
Ain’t no spider gonna bother me
I’m gonna get me a flamethrower and burn every spider I seeeeeee
[/cGM]
Relax, folks. I don’t want to sound flippant, but really… the vast majority of these spiders are harmless and unlikely to bite. Even if they did, the effects are unlikely to be serious. Once you come to terms with that, having a spider near (or on) your face is no big deal.
Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. Still, a large part of conquering fear involves recognizing the extent to which a fear is irrational.
I have, on a few occasions, held a seven-inch long spider up to my face, even letting its hooked feet touch my cheeks. Again, no big deal, once you learn to conquer the fear.
Imagine young Lightnin’, as a child of about 7 years old, harmlessly frolicking through the woods.
Then imagine Lightnin’ running smack-dab into a spiderweb strung between two trees. In that web is one of these. Not on the other side of the web; no, that would be too kind. No, the spider was, in fact, pinned to young Lightnin’s face.
All I can remember is repeatedly slamming my face into the ground to get the damn thing off.
And that, class, is why I’m now afraid of spiders.
Seven-inch long spider? Sweet christ, that calls for a bazooka. A standoff weapon, definitely - I wouldn’t want to try to swat it with a rolled-up newspaper. What if I missed? He’d leap at my face and bite my eyes off!
Ugh, I looked at that link and my gag reflex was activated–seriously. I came this close (holds thumb and forefinger 1cm apart) to barfing up my delicious morning tea.
I know my fear/hatred of spiders is totally irrational. But that doesn’t help me conquer it, it just makes me ashamed. I can’t handle spiders. I can’t even get close enough to smush them with a shoe or anything (which I suppose is a happy thought for spiders and bug-enthusiasts everywhere). I avoid them, and they (for the most part) avoid me. Ughghghghghg.
Ha ha haaaa, I headed off to bed mere minutes before you posted this. And in truth, it doesn’t bother me too much - I figure I’ve probably been walked on all over by spiders at one point or another, and what I didn’t know hasn’t hurt me.
Though I’m a little less blasé after some internet research this morning. I’ve IDed my visitor as one of these. The description, location and behavior all fit. I had no idea these little guys were venomous to humans! :eek: We get them around the house all the time. They aren’t as huge and menacing as that closeup photo looks, but that’s the one.
On the other hand, I’m pretty sure now what bit my boyfriend last year.
I’ve grown out of smushing every spider I see, but I’d be lying if I said I was happy to scoop them up and herd them outside, either. I don’t like touching them, (though I’ve stroked a friend’s pet tarantula once. It didn’t trigger the EW SPIDER response in me. Apparently, to my brain, big + furry=cute) I don’t want them touching me. (Or at least, I don’t want to KNOW they’re on me.) If I see one in the house, I usually just leave it alone. But when they invite themselves into my space, it’s bye-bye Charlotte. It was either smush the spider, or abandon my computer till it decided to leave. And I had WORK to do…
Seriously, no. Like I said, once you recognize how harmless some of these species are, it’s no big deal. I’ve seen little children handle them without any fear, and rightfully so.
