Ya know, spiders have always crept me out. As most kids may be scared of bugs in general, it seems weird to me now that it was JUST spiders. (Not long legs though)
I had an…encounter with one very recently
June 29th, 2014
After a nice morning, then a soccer game (which our team lost, pissing me off, and the fact the the refs didn’t call anything on the other team, pissing me off even more), then dinner I decided to look for pencils, so I could practice drawing (I’m not going to say what as you can refer to the thread title[heres a hint, it’s not spiders]). So I open the top drawer to a plastic 3-doored container, which was jam packed with random crap from me moving into the basement. I open the drawer, and immediately find an eraser. Okay that’s a start, an eraser to fix any poorly drawn lady parts. (No, not for me, an artist never uses his OWN work for that matter, it’s for the other people who do unspeakable things while looking at art of that…kind.) I move some papers and instruction booklets, and find a pencil. “Sweet,” I thought. “Now I can draw, but I better find extra pencils just in case”
Oh how I wish I never looked for that extra pencil.
I see another pencil, but it’s under a box. Now this box was small, about the size of a stick of deodorant. I pick it up to move it.
I see a spider.
Now this wasn’t a big spider. About the size of a quarter. And I live in northwestern Pennsylvania, no poisonous animals here (except timber rattlers, but those live in the allegheny area and farther south.) Now, this tiny ass spider managed to give me quite a scare.
I see the spider and drop the box.
I think to myself, was that spider real? Or was it a fake one, like rubber or a ring?
I move the box with a pencil. I stare right at it. My brain says, it might be real, as it has some shine to it. My heart and gut both say to my brain “yeah, but it’s not mov-”
“Oh shit”, says my colon
The spider moves, and I dropped my pencil.
It starts to climb up the pencil, which just so happens to be a ramp, leading out of the container into my room.
Now I couldn’t let this thing live. I don’t want to end up like the guy who found a spider in his pants (I will link to that story after this.)
I jump back, kick the open drawer, and make a cross with my fingers. And in a loud whisper I stare at the spider and say “The power of Christ compels you!” I repeat this phrase two more times then use another pencil to knock the spider off into the front corner of the drawer, while simultaneously knocking the box onto it.
Now I could have just used the pencil to kill it, but nooooooo, that would have tainted the writing utensil, so I run out to get…well, SOMETHING to kill it with. So I come back into my room with a screwdriver. “Yeah! That’ll show that eight legged little shit, and fuck his ass up! His creepy spidery ass will go back to hell!”
Why must my rationality leave me in such a simple time?
Oh yeah, because I used my rationality with spiders last time, when I set one on fire.
We’ll i stab at the spider, and break two of its legs, stab again, and crush it’s “creepy spidery ass”. Spider ist dead. HAHA! VICTORY IS MINE! TAKE THAT SATAN SPAWN!
Now, as I’m writing this, I realize 4 things
1). I really overreacted
2). I need to control me fear of spiders better
3). Spiders don’t like the people of the SDMB, much do they?
4). I dealt with all of that, just to draw boobs. Wow…just…wow
And the story i mentioned earlier is below
So I shall end on this note here,
Fuck spiders.
