Jeez, I feel like chopped liver.
Rasta mentioned Mrs. Beagledave showing up and didn’t even mention me. At least Thinksnow mentioned my first drop-in, but nobody appears to have remembered my second – which lasted for about 2 hours.
Damned MPSIMSers…
DavidB - 
It was revenge for all those MPSIMSers comments you made!
Okay, somehow I’m MORE tired today than I was yesterday. How is that possible?
Anyway…my recollection of things. 
First, I’d like to announce that my shitty record of flying into Chicago is STILL intact! After a late staff meeting, a backup on 95, and a cranky skycap, I manged to make it to BWI with 20 minutes to spare to board my flight…which was delayed indefinitely. Managed to get in touch with Dave to discover we were BOTH gonna be late. Finally took off at 8:15 or so. Got into Chicago at 9:30 to find…no tigg. Gah. Okay, plan B. Go find my luggage, THEN we’ll find tigg. Luckily, she found us.
Drive down was uneventful…Illinois is JUST as boring to drive through as I remember. Checked into the hotel and had a message from VB telling us to call her tomorrow, however “I know they’re still up, because we just had another complaint about them.” At this point I start laughing, figuring we’re gonna be unwelcome in TWO hotels in Spiffled now… In any event, we met up with thinksnow, porcupine, boli, Dyno, and VB. Who I knew was drunk when she hugged me 5 times in 2 minutes. Had one drink (No, I’m not a wuss, but after my day, I was NOT gonna start drinking at 2:30am.) Went to bed at 3. Got two phone calls from Valerie calling us wusses for being asleep. At one point she said she was gonna poke me in the eye, but I can’t remember why, exactly…
On to Saturday! Woke up reasonably late, and I actually DID debate going down to the pool, thinks. But, as tigg and I put it, once you blowdry the hair, that’s IT for the day. Saw porc heading over for brunch, and meandered downstairs to join her and thinks. Didn’t see anyone else over at Perkin’s after 15 minutes, so we just got a table for ourselves. (We later decided this was a plot by thinks to get the Doper wimmens to himself. I think he might have regretted that decision after about…30 minutes with us.)
Brunch was good, except for the inablility to get a clean glass…did we ever decide what that was in thinks’s lemonade? Eventually some more people trickled in and were seated behind us. Amazingly, we didn’t start a food fight. tigg and I then headed over to the Walgreens to find duct tape. 
And walking back was FUN! Good lord, it was WAY too damn windy. Saw boli in the lobby, and then wandered over to UncBeer’s room. Hung out and watched bad reality shows for a while, then heard about the shooting trip.
Tibs showed up around 6ish, so we headed upstairs to see the rest of the group. Noticed the tape recorder. Made the comment of “I am NOT responsible for anything I say or do after I get drunk.” Discussed thinks’s piercing needs. The restaurant was pretty good…our waitress was really nice. MUCH better than last year’s. Started passing around the quote notebook. I can’t remember what we decided was the quote of the night, though.
In any event, DavidB showed up as we were leaving, and we all headed back over to the hotel. Porc made the realization of “if they thought we were loud LAST night…yipe.” So we managed to get the meeting room. Where I proceeded to get drunk fairly quickly. After that point, I don’t remember a hell of a lot of specifics. I do remember UncleBeer offering me his password so I could be a moderator… I do remember the table catching on fire, though. And the peeps. And the bunny ears. And lots and lots of duct tape.
After about 3, decided it was time to get to bed, since I had to be out of town by 8:30. Well, we would have been out of town if Dave had woken up…he didn’t until 9, and we still got to the airport at noon. (Interstate highways with no cops…averaged 85 the whole way up.) Flight back was uneventful…thank god.
Oh, and the last I saw of the tape recorder was around 2ish. It was on the front table next to the Captain Morgan’s. Oh, and UncleBill? I’m fine…how YOU doin?
Well here I am at the college library today. I feel half asleep from all the traveling and debauchery. And without further ado here’s my lil run down:
I hit the airport 'round noon Friday to catch my flight. But I find the plane’s been delayed. So after forty five minutes of waiting (due to a storm front in O’hare). I board the plane to find out we have another 40 minute delay. Which minutes later is altered to 1 hour and 20 minute delay.
Anyhow, we finally got off the ground and when I arrived in O’hare, I called vileorb. He picked me up at a CTA stop.
I must say Chicago’s a pretty happenin’ town! I had never been to Chicago - outside of the airport. Anyway, Vile and I chatted up a storm and hit the bar where the lovely nymysys works. Shortly after MikeG, Magdalene, jarbabyj show. And later Gaudere. I can vouch we had a great time (even though we had ***ahem “the incedent which shall not be named” ;)). Lots of banter, socializing and drinking ensued throughout the nite. I ended up crashing at MikeG’s pad around 3 or so in the morning.
The next morning (Saturday) was Dim Sum in Chinatown. Wonderful and quite filling I might add. Afterwards the 4 of us (MikeG, Vile, Gaudere, and I) bundled up in Gaudy’s car and headed to Springfield. It’s true what everyone says:
there’s nothing much to look at. Four hours of talking, listenin’ to tunes and eyeing minimalism. WE ARE IN SPRINGFIELD! woo!
I grab my bag and go check in to the hotel but only to see a billboard behind me that says, “Michael Masterson, you’re our guest of the day!” LOL, I thought it was some kind of
joke at first. But I WAS randomly selected. Why do these things always happen to me! ::groan::
More later… gotta run.
That’s cuz it’s filled with pretty happenin’ people.
Since I didn’t go to the actual SPIFFLED event, I don’t know if I’m allowed to post here, but I wanted to say, Friday night in Chicago was an adventure the likes of which I hope I shall never be a part of again!
No, but seriously. How exciting to meet Magdalene and Gaudere and MikeG, Silo and yes…of course…the directionally challenged VileOrb who thought he was driving north and accused me of not being a part of Generation X, an arguement we may take up at a later date.
I hope to see y’all again soon.
jarbaby
And how exciting to leave out Nymysys! That’s a good way to get punched out! Kick ass gin and tonic, Nym…it gave me a headache the next day!
jarbaby
Well, I’m having computer problems at work and I can’t call the computer guy to fix them because I AM the computer guy. So, this will have to be brief or my computer will likely eat it.
Somebody make sure they post the pics of the waitress blowing in my ear. She offered to dance on the table, but I selfishly chose the do-something-lude-in-my-ear option. I’d also like to publicly wonder exactly how many Andreas there are waitressing in Spfld. Maybe they just got a bulk deal on name tags by getting them all the same. I believe Boli, ValB, and I won any ironman/woman competition by being the last ones on our feet (did we decide it was after 6am? I know my time sense was way off I thought it was 3:15.), with Joph getting honorable mention for getting back up and humoring us.
Oh well, so much for brief, the PC seems to be doing OK.
The good thing about us hangin in there for so long was that I was able to clean up the room while ValB helped and Boli prevented ValB from making more mess than she cleaned. ValB put on the bunny ears for this process. ValB in Happy Monkey PJ’s and pink Bunny Ears, about halfway through her second bottle of Makers, is truely a sight to see. I think Tig was the last one to go before the three of us and I think she took charge of UncleBill’s recorder. There were three or four people leaving about the same time there though so I could be wrong.
Thanks Gaudere for letting me ride down with you, hope to see you around town.
I was especially pleased ot have met and chatted with David B who is every bit as well spoken in person as he is on the boards. Now I have met both GD mods. No, I definitely do not want to be a mod - I definitely don’t want to get that much email on top of my normal oveflowing inbox.
Maybe I’ll write more later. There are certainly more people I need to thank and others I need to harrass.
When’s the next ChiDope? (suddenly I remember that there’s a lot of beach here in chitown and wonder if a dopefest on the beach might be a good thing, i.e. doper-women in bikinis)
Vile: Tape recorder? I have no tape recorder.
Tigg’s take on things:
I got off the Blue Line at O’Hare around 6 PM on Friday, expecting Falc and Weirddave to be there around 7. When I looked at the “arrival” monitors, I found that Falc’s plane was delayed until 9 PM. I was about to let loose with a flood of invective that would make Alpha blush, when I realized I was surrounded by cranky parents with even crankier young children, and I did NOT need them shrieking at me. Luckily, I brought along a book (The Name of the Rose, for those who wonder), so I settled in to those oh-so-comfy O’Hare chairs.
I didn’t know when Weirddave’s flight was supposed to get in, so I figured he might be there already, and had him paged. To “Weirddave.” While I was holding a sign saying “Weirddave.” You would not believe some of the looks I got.
So around 9:20, our two travelers FINALLY show up, and we hit the road around 10 (?)
Long, boring drive, until we reached Spfld around 2:30, and headed to VB’s room, where she gave me a huge hug, and told me I was adorable, and that she would like to sit and play with my hair forever. We figured she was a bit tipsy. (cough) porc, by that point, was stretched out on the bed watching the room spin. Dyno was pretty much gone, too. thinks was singing the praises of Stroh, which he continued to do for the next 36 hours.
After VB got booted from her room into one down the hall (the guy in the room below kept complaining of “footsteps”), and after we finally got her to move, Falc and I decided to call it a night, and passed out around 3.
I’m a raging insomniac, so I was up and around by 9. Falc and I headed downstairs and ran into thinks and porc, and headed to lunch.
<fast forward to that evening>
Seeing as how I’m technically underage, I couldn’t drink at the restaurant and was thus one of the designated drivers. As thinks will tell you, I was damn close to shoving everyone’s food down their throats and herding them to the cars so we could get back to the hotel so that I could start drinking. And yes, the Official Spiffled Quote Notebook was passed around, and I’ll be transcribing those shortly.
After that? A lot of alcohol, Peep abuse, duct taping, picture taking, and I’m sure lots more stuff that I just can’t remember.
A few remarks. I would much rather BE up until 3am than GET up at 3am (4am Eastern). Flights that early should be illegal. Landed STL 9:30am, drove to Spiffled. As for how boring parts of Illinois are, I drove St. Loius to Spiffled, Spiffled to Elgin, and Elgin to St. Louis. Thank goodness I was mostly asleep for parts of the drive. I-55 gets old pretty quick. Think I saw Falcon and Tiggeril walking out to lunch, but not sure at the time. Ate Chinese, bought some supplies (booze, beer, lime, bottle opener) stayed in room with a slight nap, went downstairs and saw Vile and crew coming back from “shopping”. We consolidated alcohol and retired to 228, where the room continued to fill. I can’t wait to hear the tapes from that room. Dinner has been covered before, as was most of the party events I can recall. Very sorry I missed the fire. FireUnderpantsBoobs would have been proud, had she been there. Checked out WAY too early Sunday at 8am to cruise up to Elgin for lunch with hardygrrl a fellow flirter who couldn’t make the trip due to some silly wedding, then tromped BACK down I-55 to STL for mt 8pm-ish flight, arriving MIA too damned late for normal people.
porcupine, the memory of that “chomping” thing you did at me for wearing the BITE ME shirt will remain with me forever, in a GOOD way! I promise would have had a better response to the towel episode. Try me sometime!
falcon, thank you for graciously accepting the two messages I had for you. The delivery was a pleasure. Both of them.
Tiggeril, I am honored and thankful for being duct taped by you. It was an unusual, yet somehow exhilirating experience. The licking may have been too much for me. This was my first Spiffled, after all.
ValB, thanks for getting us to dinner and back in one piece. And for slipping into something more comfortable (rrrraaawwrrrr)!
Tequila Mockingbird, I was a bit surprised when you sat on my lap for a beer during dinner. Surprised, but happy. You seemed so SHY before that, but you do keep promises!
Tiburon, if you ever consider going to guys, gimme a call (if thinksnow’s number is busy, I guess). You are a hottie. And we both like boobage.
Gaudere, I’ll second that comment about your smile being infectious. When you smile it really looks like you mean it! Like you KNOW something!
As for thinksnow, VileOrb, MikeG, Silo, Weirddave, Rastahomie, beagledave, Flypsyde, David B plus all the men and wimmins I have not mentioned here, it was a GREAT time meeting all of you I did get to meet, and my loss for not speaking with EVERYONE there.
Muchos Kudos to the waitress at the Barrel Head, could a native Spiffler pass all our kind words along to her (or her boss!)?
[sub]Still looking for that darned recorder.[/sub]
These are random quotes, that were written down in the Official Spiffled Quote Notebook. Enjoy.
•Gaudere: “Well, all the Prince Alberts I’ve seen…”
•thinksnow: “I was born with all the holes God wanted me to have.”
•tiggeril: “I can’t do shots because I can’t swallow that much at once.”
Spiffled: <silence>
porcupine: “I can!!”
•Weirddave (to two stranded female motorists): “No problem. We have and hour before the Roadside Killers Convention.”
•Andrea the BarrelHead Waitress: “Are you two together?”
thinksnow: “No, she’s gay! There’s nothing in it for me!”
Tiburon: “He’s not lying, I am gay!”
•thinks and Tibs were discussing going to a gay bar to pick up women.
porcupine; “So, if they don’t like thinksnow, by definition they’re gay.”
•Andrea the Perkins Waitress: “Nuts on your Fudge Brownie Supreme?”
tiggeril: “No nuts for me.”
porcupine: “I’ll have her nuts!”
tiggeril: “If my arms were long enough, I’d smack you.”
•Extank ((to two stranded female motorists): “You’ve got a purty mouth.”
•To Tiburon (who is a lawyer) by (?): “We’ve got gunpowder residue all over us. What’re your rates?”
•Falcon had to sneeze and ended up sneezing in Flyp’s direction.
porcupine: “Well, for some guys, any bodily fluid’ll do.”
•thinksnow (to Tibs): “There’s nothing like a lesbian who gets drunk easily.”
Silo: “Nothing like those lightweight lesbians!”
•porcupine: “So, Falc, how many Dopefests is this for you?”
Falc: “Nineteen”
Dyno: “In a row?”
MikeG: “Wasn’t that on Cinemax?”
•Weirddave: “Slowly but surely, thinks is beginning to reveal he’s a flamingly gay man.”
thinksnow: <spits beer across the table>
•Andrea the BarrelHead Waitress: “Would you like a Redheaded Slut?”
Tiburon: “Wouldn’t we all?”
•MikeG: “That looks like an albino turd!”
•VileOrb: “Oh, I thought the sixth sheik’s sixth sheep was sick, but you meant the sick sheik’s sixth sheep was sick.” [Note: That was a BITCH to type up-tig]
•Tiburon (to thinks): “They can’t cook a steak, and you’re going to let them pierce your dick??!”
•Thinksnow: “So… you’re only dating hot women?”
Tiburon: “Well, it’s not so much that , as that you don’t notice until the second date that they’re completely stupid.”
------o------- (this is the point after which all the quotes are in drunken handwriting)
•porcupine; “The vibe is really important.”
thinksnow: “Oh, we all know you know about the vibe.”
•Tiburon: “They’re all defensive by the time I get them home.”
•tiggeril: “The duct tape is more fun.”
•ExTank: “Tig’s broken out the Peeps and the duct tape. Things are getting weird.”
•MikeG: When someone’s shooting, you don’t give a shit about your butt crack."
•Tiburon: “Do you really eat these?”
tiggeril: “No, I duct tape them to people.”
Tiburon: “Oh, ok.”
•Dave: “Dave really wore me out last night.”
•Boli: “So, Joph, why did you spray the Mace out the car window?”
Jophiel: “I dunno, I’m a dumbass.”
•Beagledave: “This is my wife…”
Everyone: “Hey!! Mrs. Beagledave!!”
Tiburon: “What a reception! Next time I’m coming as Mrs. Beagledave!”
•Flyp: “Fruity, yeah, but I like it.”
------o------ The Morning After
•MikeG: “My uvula feels like someone’s been going at it with a belt sander.”
•thinksnow: “What room is Valerie in today?”
•thinksnow: “I seem to recall having a Peep shoved down my pants.”
Gaudere: “Molested by a Peep?”
thinksnow: “Hey, that was the most action I got all night!”
•tiggeril: “This whipped cream is freaking me out.”
thinksnow: “Looks like a Casper turd.”
•MikeG: “Well, actually, I was getting in touch with my feminine side.”
thinksnow: “Would that be your right or left feminine side?”
-----o------
And so ends the Official Spiffled Quote Notebook
I made it back yesterday in record time (340 miles in 4:35 - you barely beat me, thinks!) Here are some of my observations:
Valerie is the worst drunk dialer in the history of the world. Falcon & Tiggeril can back me up on that one.
Cherry Pucker again made it’s mark at a Spiffled party - I somehow felt compelled to finish the bottle off around 5 a.m. Tig made a big dent in it, though!
Thinksnow gives incredible neckrubs, which quickly turned into a long chain of people giving neckrubs. I believe someone referred to it as a “weird kind of circle jerk”.
The front desk staff at the Springfield Courtyard ROCKS. They were so tolerant of us. VileOrb rewarded the poor night guy with lots of half-full bottles of booze.
There seemed to be a lot of cases of Grab-Ass going on. You know who you are.
Yup, it was well after 6 a.m. when the last of us hit the hay. I didn’t have a hangover, which is a freakin’ miracle since I think I drank my weight in beer.
Never allow Dyno to be around high-proof rum AND a lighter. No good can come from that.
As always, the banter between Valerie and Flypsyde was worth the drive. It’s just too bad that his new soon-to-be-girlfriend has crabs…
Hey Unclebill - I think you’re consolidating me and Valerie into one person. I was the one who drove us to and from the Barrel Head, and she was the one in the pajamas.
p.s. Joph - I am so, so sorry!
tig I am SO glad I swallow my Coke before reading those! I try SO hard not to spray my keyboard and monitor at work. MIS just doesn’t understand.
boli Sorry for the confusion. I was confused most of the evening. Thanks for driving.
I’m shocked, SHOCKED I tell you!
My goodness, next thing you know, you’ll be telling us someone was flashing nipple jewelry or something!
[sub]oh look…over there. A new thread![/sub]
I can clearly and unequivically declare I witnessed NO grab assing. Tequila in NO WAY grabbed thinksnow’s ass. How could she? He was FACING her at the time any alleged grabbing occurred. I petition the court to strike that from the annals of the Aftermath of Spliffled II!
So I told my German boss about our multiple bottles of Stroh and he was aghast! “The 180 proof is not for drinking! It is only for baking!!”
Bwahahaha…
::note to self–must remember to try Mrs. Sausers’ Christmas rum cake this year::
I found this scribbled on a napkin in my messenger bag:
Silo: “Tig just duct taped my beer to my hands.”
thinksnow: “What will you do when the bottle’s empty?”
Silo: “Cry”
UncleBill: You’re right; Tequila did not grab thinks’ ass. She shoved a Peep down the back of his pants. Oh, and licking? That wasn’t me licking. I licked no one at this DopeFest. ::looks at Bill:: What exactly were you doing?
boli: Cherry Pucker kicks ass :D.
What I honestly MEANT was “the licking would have been too much for me.”
Really.
Now that someone has mentioned ass grabbing…I believe that I was the victim of a drive-by ass grabbing at some point during the evening. My mind is clearly blurry from the 1/2 ounce of rum I did. Or was that dirty rubbing alcohol and a cruel joke on the Tibs?
UncleBill, if I decide to move to the ways of the penis, I shall give you a call. In fact, should I be so moved, I will give the entire male species a call. You’re right in that we both like boobage.
Speaking of…I’ve been looking for a girl to press her boobs up against my bedroom window. I’ll call is my ** All-Boob, All-the-time, Cable TV Network.** I haven’t found any willing women - what’s wrong you women? I can’t get any takers and I’ve even offered free use of my bathroom.
I’m working until late tonight so should anyone be so inclined, feel free to e-mail my pants off at TibsTanglewood@aol.com. I’m bored. Feel free to entertain me. In fact, feel free to press your boobs against my window.
Tibs.
You did. In fact, I remarked to tiggs “I wonder if that was UncleBill…” Wasn’t sure, tho, and I still don’t have that ability to walk up to people and just yell their screenname. Well, not unless I’m drunk.
Good god! I was there! I said half the quotes, yet I still have Velveeta Shells and Cheese on my lap…sunuva…
Great job, tigs.
As for peeps, I can neither confirm nor deny eating part of a peep that was…uh…dipped in Tequila. It does not mean what you think it does and that’s all I’m saying. [sub]Speaking of, has anyone mentioned the PussySnorkel tshirt?[/sub]
NOW someone has!
::UncleBill searches for website::
Gotta get one, gotta get one.