Well, I would say it was worth the drive. I got to be a good samaritan, go shooting, get uber-drunk, have interesting conversation with my lesbian wife…or whatever, and have an all around good time.
Y’all with the tape recorders and notebooks, post up!
As I woke up this morning, I briefly contemplated calling all the rooms containing slumbering Spiffled folks and whispering, very softly…“I need some TP for my bunghole!” While I would have found this very funny, I have the feeling that the respondent might have the overwhelming desire to kill me and never allow me back at another Spiffled.
GET UP ALREADY!!!
What’s up, hetero-hubby?
Tibs.
OK, a lot of stuff happened before I got there and, presumably, after I left. So, I’ll give you as much of the run-down as I witnessed:
First off, the management at The Barrel Head didn’t believe the weather reports that it was “unseasonably hot” in Springfield (high of 85 :eek: ), and they refused to turn on the air conditioner for any reason.
Mrs. Rastahomie and I got there a little early just because. Everybody then showed up at once. I passed around a sign-in sheet which is outside in my car right now, and I am not going to get it (still hot). A good 23 or so people showed up.
Our waitress was stressed out but very nice; a real improvement over last year’s! The food was considerably better, too, although we Springfield people are unanimous in our belief that D’Arcy’s Pint has the best horseshoes.
We left The Barrel Head after an hour and a half or so, in part because it was so freaking hot. We went to Friar Tuck’s and gave them about a week’s worth of business inside of 10 minutes. Then it was on to The Courtyard, Conference Room A. Kudos to whoever scored that room!
From there much drinking and general merriment ensued, with goings-on inside and outside (for the smokers). Mrs. Beagledave showed up and said “hi” before going to bed. Later on the military guys unreeled their target practice targets (they had visited a local shootin’ range earlier in the day) and duct-taped them to the wall. That was something I didn’t expect.
ValerieBlaise came out of her clothes. Well, out of her clothes and into her Happy Monkey® jammies. Flypsyde took of his shirt, but he was wearing one underneath it. That’s pretty much all the nudity I remember.
Mrs. Rastahomie and I left shortly after midnight. I have no idea what happened after we left. I look forward to a full report.
It was a pleasure meeting all of you first-timers and seeing all of you repeat offenders again. I look forward to next year, and to the next ChiDope.
Also, I’d like to give a shoutout to Mike G and DynoSaur for validating and sympathizing with my being a fan of the Chicago Cubs. To Tiggerril for sharing her lemonade with me. To Gaudere for having an infectious and endearing smile. To UncleBeer for being himself (and the to the rest of you for the same reason!). And to Flypsyde for getting the ball rolling.
Cheers! and good night, Mr. Gorsky.
You sure said a mouthful there, rasta.
Damn, I missed VB in her jammies? Pardon me while I hurt myself…
I posted this in the other thread…but I’ll list it here also…
I’m home. No major problems getting home. 
(Well, except for Dave sleeping in, so we left at 9 to be back in Chicago by 12…)
Still trying to catch up on email, regular mail, and my cat left me a present in the damn hallway, so I’ll post more thoughts later…
I am home!!
Porc just dropped me off here about 15 minutes ago, so she should be home and posting in an hour or so.
Spiffled was great. I got way drunk, duct taped Peeps to people (I did not stuff any down people’s pants… Tequila Mockingbird took care of that), and got more drunk :D.
I also had a notebook of random Spiffled quotes, which I’ll be posting shortly. (I need a nap).
I’ll add more detailed thoughts later. It was great to meet all of you (and see some of you again) 
(P.S. No licking this time. I wasn’t in a licking kind of mood. Just a drinking kind of mood )
I’m home and alive.
I’m sure that doesn’t seem like an accomplishment to most of you who came from many, many odd places, but it’s all I’ve got.
Oh, and MikeG set me on fire. Just thought I’d mention that again.
Welp I’m here at MikeG’s crib - were just chillin’. Was a fun time. I must say I was totally waisted last evening. (think I was seeing double lol.) As well, I’m paying for it today. I’m off to O’hare in a bit. I’m going to sleep for a long time. Pleasure to meet you all.
<ahem>…
Dyno, you spilled the flaming Stroh on yourself! I was the only one with the presence of mind to put out the flames lapping at the table when you tried to burn down the building!
In all, it was a great time.
I’m as tired as Silo (more since I just drove him to my place and he got to nap!)
I’ll post more later.
I’m home alive. No problem gettingt my flight, in spite of the fact that I slept in, 'cuz Falc is secretly dying to drive NASCAR. Lots of fun, and I’ll post more later.
I’m home and alive. Joph had to drive my truck back for me because I was still drunk at 1 this afternoon when we left.
I had a great time this weekend. Tons of stuff happened, but I’m too tired to go into it. I did learn, however, that there are some places where you just don’t put Peeps!
I’m home.
:note to self - find out what to bribe thinksnow with so I get the full massage treatement - a bottle of Stroh 160 Proof Rum, perhaps, or just getting rid of the towel?" 
and everyone, be sure to thank me for arranging the conference room.
Just a note to thank the folks who stopped by to say hello! It was a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to hooking up with you and the rest of the bunch on the next one
Friday
I can’t believe I have to drive 45 minutes south to catch a turbo-prop to an airport 45 minutes north of my house. Is it a crime to murder a travel agent?
Sittin at the gate in Philly. Wheeeeee! I’m gonna miss the whole damn event! Got O’Hare arangements made thru the minor miracle of Falcon answering a page in BWI immediately and the operator being able to connect the two of us.
O’Hare. Still managed to beat Faclon’s plane in and met her at the gate. No sign of Tiggeril. Called Uncle Beer, got some more numbers to try to run her down, went to pick up Falc’s bags on the conver belt. A very atractive Indian woman comes up behind me and asks " Amy? " As I’m wondering why she would think my name is Amy, Falc recognises her and our party is complete. Tigs says she has been wandering O’Hare, scaring the paying customers while waiting for us to arive. She actually had “Weirddave” paged while I was still in the air. Wish I’d been there to answer THAT page.
Quick trip to Hertz, listening to the same FUCKING rcording about 3,251 times, and we’re off.
Boy there is a lot of nothing in southern Illinois.
These people have nothing down to a science.
If you even need some nothing, I recommend southern Illinois.
Finally got to Springfield, and after a quick trip thru the famous Red Light District, our hotel is located just before 2 AM.
Good sign- desk clerk tells us there are a number of complaints already about our party. Whoo Hoo!
Quick meeting with thinksnow, Dynosaur,Val, Boli,and Porcupine, and after helping move Val to her new room, I take off with Dynosaur and crash at his place. Thanks a lot, Dyno, I owe ya one! You ever need to crash in Baltimore and you’re golden, man.
Suprisingly, I had never seen the South Park movie. Dyno rectifies this situation, and I get to bed about 5, CDT
Saturday
We get back to the Courtyard about 12:15, find Uncle Beer and company, and meet the others at Perkins, where Joph suprisingly does NOT order the reuben, in spite of the fact that he has been talking about reubens all night.
Thinksnow, Ex-Tank and I decide that Spiffled wouldn’t be Spiffled without guns, and we set out to get some. On the way to the range, we see two young girls with a flat on the other side of the road. Since we missed our exit, we pull over to see if they need help. Our first clue was seeing them reading the car’s manual. Yup, they need help. Fortunately they got the “Pull over out of trafic” part right before we arived. Puting the spare on, we discover that it’s flat. We then volunteer to run them up to a service station. Upon expressing concern that they will delay us, I assure thm that “We have plenty of time before we’re due at the Roadside Mass Murderer’s Convention.” Oddly reassured, they take us up on the offer, and we get the tire changed. We did a GOOD DEED! Yay for us!
The three of us shoot for about an hour, with a fairly decent Model 1911 pistol. I haven’t been shooting in about 8 years, and strangely enough, had never fired a pistol before then. Handled, yes, fired, no. I think I did OK. Thinksnow and I hope that no crimes are committed in our vacinity, as we will now fail the gunpowder residue test.
We return to the hotel and watch “Reality” TV until it is time to go to dinner. Strangely enough, everyone in the room yells “shoot” when a bank robber points his gun at himself, a’la Clevon Little in Blazzing Saddles. We seem to be a bloodthirsty bunch! Tiburon arives, and we set out for dinner.
That’s it for now, I’m tired. I’ll do the rest later
Just what I mentioned in the other thread here. I really enjoyed meeting everyone and I had a lot of fun. I can see why these Dopefests are such a hit. I wish I’d been able to show up Friday to get to know everyone a little better. I also drank a bit too much and what I drank hit me in a bad way and I honestly cannot remember anything from around midnight on. (I think someone snuck me some of that 160 proof rum… rum and I have a bad history) So PLEASE accept my apologies if I offended anyone or was an ass in general during that time. You are all welcome in my home anytime you are ever in the area!
Tiburon - Why the HELL were you up and posting at 8:41 in the freaking morning? I think you didn’t drink enough.
Weirddave - I hate to break this to you, but you haven’t seen any of southern Illinois. This is just central Illinois. We’ve got so much more nothing south of here you wouldn’t believe it. It’s a major cash crop.
OK…Friday night…around about 10 PM, I’m summoned to the Courtyard. Because, let’s face it, without me, the Dopefest might actually manage to be interesting and fun.
So, I take the ten-minute jaunt over to the hotel to meet the vanguard of dopers who arrived Friday evening…thinksnow, porcupine, boli, UncleBeer, Jophiel, VBlaise, and Flypsyde.
Drinking ensues. Duh. thinksnow introduces me to Stroh rum. This rum is to quickly become my new best friend.
160 proof is very persuasive. And very flammable. But more on that Saturday night.
More drinking occurs. Complaints come from the jerk in the room under us. More drinking. More complaining. Falcon, tiggeril, and Weirddave arrive. We switch rooms, to one above an empty room. More complaints. Ok, I’m assuming there, but the complaining guy was a schmuck.
I cart Weirddave home and rectify the fact that he hadn’t seen the South Park movie.
Saturday…
We head back to the hotel and have bloody marys for breakfast with UncleBeer, Jophiel, and ExTank. Then we head over to Perkins for breakfast. Or lunch. We run into thinksnow, tiggeril, Falcon, and porcupine. Think has massive problems finding a clean glass for his lemonade. Or was that supposed to be water?
Then we go back to the hotel yet again and kill time until dinner watching lame shows on The Learning Channel. Tequila Mockingbird stops by, as, eventually, does Tiburon
We gather the Chidopers who have arrived, some of us take a quick trip to meet Tequila’s hubby and children, and then we’re off to the bar.
We meet under the watchful eye of rastahomie and missus rastahomie.beagledave shows up at some point, as well.
thinksnow’s problems with food service continue, as the kitchen staff has to try three times to make a steak to his specifications.
Kudos to the poor waitress who had to deal with this bunch, too.
Then, back to the hotel, where porcupine got us the conference room for the drunken bash, which other people will cover more thoroughly than me, I’m sure.
I just want to point out, one more time, that MikeG set me on fire. The table was my fault, though.
Watch for tiggeril’s quotes of the night write-up soon.
Well, I got in a while ago, but had to swap out the rental, water the cats and feed the plants. 350.7 miles in 4:32. Not too bad.
I’ve got a couple of pics I’ll fire off to whomever can put them online.
Okay, let’s see… the run-down as I recall-
I got in Friday around 7:00, a bit later than I’d hoped, but looking your keys in your car and then hitting solid parking-lot construction south of Indianapolis will do that. Upon getting there, I ran into the same problem as porcupine: I didn’t know anyones name, which makes it a touch difficult to leave messages in hotel lobbies.
Anyhow, I ran into her by sheer luck and we did dinner, finally ran into some others back at Comfort Inn and the drinking was on. Details are hazy but I know I made some new converts for **Stroh rum, so that’s a good thing. Funny thing about Valeries room was the annoying neighbors below. By 3 AM, after a number of calls, the manager…uh, we decided to move VB down the hall to a room with nobody below her.
Waking up at the crack of noon Saturday, we made our way to Perkins for brunch. After a toast to Ruffian and DeathLlama, we continued to harass poor Andrea, our waitress. She weathered us well, I think. Lord knows she looked through enough glasses to find us some clean ones!
I have no idea what the rest of the group did, but ExTank, WeirdDave and I decided to go shoot something. Having missed the exit, we turned around and got a chance to improve our karma a bit. We helped some young ladies change a tire. When we pulled up, they were pulling out the owners manual, so we figured they were in trouble. Gotta give them credit, they didn’;t go running and screaming after asking us if we had the time to help and Dave replied
We eventually told them about the Straight Dope…got the dear in the headlights look. Works every time.
Once again, the drinking started early. In UncleBeers room, it was bloody marys all around. Tequila showed up as did the ChiDope connection. The other Spiffle local and my future lesbian surprise bride Tiburon rolled in. DavidB popped by for a quick “hello.” A few of us rolled over to see TurboDog and the tequila shots. Cute kids, but they were plenty happy hanging out in the hotel room, watching Rugrats, it seemed.
rasta did a good run-down of dinner, except for some particulars. For instance, it seems I got the three-bears steak special: first one was too hot (well done), the second was to cold (dripping blood rare), but the last one was juuuust right. The pitchers of Harp and Guinness helped, though.
tigger was getting a touch antsy, though, not being able to drink in public, so we eventually bade the Barrel head a fond farewell.
Kudos to Porc, my towel-wrapped friend, for getting the conference room. She’s a bright kid. tigger had duct-tape and peeps…'nuff said. Tibs was giving lessons in lightweight lesbianism on the patio. Again, it was a tad hazy, but IIRC, I had a good time, so…
Sundays brunch proved to be very nearly a repeat of Saturdays, though a few faces were different and some, like ExTank simply could not stand sight of food while VB was only interested in a smoke.
So much more happened, as anyone that has been to a Dopefest knows, but I think that’ll do for now. UncleBill had the bright idea of bringing a tape recorder, I’ll be mighty curious to hear what that turns up.
anybody seen it? I’m not one for blackmail, but I have three completed tapes, and I will not quote you directly if you turn it over nicely! The hotel SAID they didn’t find it, but the room was still thrashed at about 3pm Sunday. I could have been under those dead bodies I saw. Well, it is 2:40 Eastern (in the morning) and I have triumphantly returned to Miami. I hear it takes an hour for your liver to process each drink, I should be sober sometime around noon today.
May I say, that this Spiffling exceeded expectations? There was drunkenness galore, there was debauchery in spades, peeps were sexually molested in front of my eyes (Ohh, the burning), and there was ample boobage all around. It was a nice touch to have three human sillouettes (sp?) hanging with little 45/100" holes peppering them.
To all the ladies at Spiffled: How YOU doin?
And all the guys, it was an absolute blast. I have NO idea what all I drank, but that 180 Proof stuff rings a bell, a very very loud bell in my head. It will be some days before I get the transciptions figured out (once I get the recorder back, that is, or buy another one). I still say Guinness in a pitcher is blasphemy, but hell, who among us has not blasphemed from time to time?