Spoil movies that don't exist! *SPOILERS*

In Red Serpent Angelina Jolie is actually the mob boss’ daughter. She’s the one giving him the details on Bruce Willis’ investigation. He figures it out when he goes to her apartment to pick her up and sees the picture on her coffee table.
In Time Zones the person sending the notes to Johnny Depp turns out to a future version of himself who has successfully completed the time machine and is stuck in the past because it doesn’t work right. He eventualy builds the machine and takes off in it, but the last scene shows that he forgot the part after all, so he will become that perosn stuck in the past.

In Bucket of Monkeys, Reese Witherspoon turns out to be Ryan Phillippe in a wig.

(A really good wig.)

Boob Nuggets - Cameron Diaz volunteers to be the first to swallow a prototype inflatable set of boobs.

The serial killer turns out to be the cop all along!

Oh wait, that movie does exist…several times over. Sorry.

In Gone for a Soldier, the “Missing Hostage” was really the assassin, who was really just a disgruntled worker, and the airstrike on Riyadh accidently sets off the bomb in the nuclear lab.


You know that movie with that guy with that weird hair…you know how he went to that place in Iran for that pilgrimage. Yeah, well, he thought he saw God and it turned out he really slept with that other guy’s sister? Well, that other guy came after him and chased him all over Iran but he managed to escape back to the States, living in that city with that woman and trying to forget about his lovechild back in Iran.
Well anyway, that guy came looking for him again, after five long years. He tracked his girlfriend down and killed her, then came for him, ripped off the mask…and it was that girl he’d slept with!
Then he tried to climb down that fire escape onto that street in that city, but he didn’t quite make it before she shot him.
They buried him in that cemetery and his child grew up to be the President and then turned into Freddy Krueger.

I’ve succeeded in confusing myself even.

Touched By An Angel: The Movie

The one with the quaint accent realises that although she could be human again and marry Joel The Farmer and be a mother to his children, she will only really find happiness in continuing to be an angel. Joel will get over it in time.

The old wise black woman is finally accepted into Mormon Superheaven, and the mormons admit they were wrong all along, and also admit Martin Luther King.

The bloke realises he is gay, and is sent to hell.
Beyond Planet of The Apes II

When Dame Judi Dench as Doctor Cheetah reveals she is now pro-human, and is sending Will Smith (as the human astronaut) back in time to establish human dominance of the planet, Admiral Jeebers (Robert de Niro) attempts to destroy the time travel machine. In a moment of existential choice, Will Smith leaps into the void, taking the Admiral with him. Miss Gubb-Gubb (Pamela Anderson) reveals she is pregnant to the human, and in the touching closing scenes Doctor Cheetah presides as the half-chimp, half-human twins are born , and the ancient medicine monk (John Hurt) predicts a glorious and peaceful future.
Andy Hardy, The Final Page

Mickey Rooney as Andrew Hardy, retiree, seems to have lost all will to live. A surprise family reunion featuring his whole extended family (Anne Miller and Faye Dunaway as Andy’s first and second wives, Piper Laurie, George Hamilton, and Shelly Fabares as his children, George Clooney, Tori Spelling, Cindy Lauper and the Olsen twins as his grandchildren) helps him realise that there’s still plenty of life left to enjoy. That night he expires peacefully. For the first time ever an actor’s actual death is filmed and used in a general release movie. The moving deathbed scenes are the result of hours, nay months, of patient waiting by the crack cinematographic team, and the actors involved. Special post-humous Academy Award is presented by Mrs William Holden.
I’ve got a million of 'em folks!