The Eagles. Just because they’re the Eagles – the most unrepentant bunch of scumbags from Scumbagtown. Fuck them and everything scumbag thing they stand for. Fortunately, they have that neverending legacy of failure hanging over them.
The Cowboys take second place, and the Redskins take third by default (although they’re scarcely worth mentioning).
Outside of the division, the Chargers take the lead for being the biggest pack of puss-ass whiners in the league. Wah.