Spot the American!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I live in Cape Town, a popular cruise ship destination. Over the summer, here, I used to work as a barman and waiter in my early 20s.

We (my colleagues and I) could recognise the nationality of people based purely on instinct and the dress that people used.

I had no idea about the ships in the harbour, even though I worked in restaurants in the habour, the cruise ship dock is not in view.

But we knew. We could identify Americans, English, Germans, Chinese (not that hard), Koreans, and more.

My aporoach was somewhat more profesional, but plenty of wait staff would steer guests into their own tables, or into soneone else’s section, based on looks, without even hearing an accent. Obviously a profit motive.

First, Americans. Tip really well, so a prize table. A bit talkative, so you need to be able to break off a conversation politely

Next Germans. Tip quite well, the only irritating thing is that each wants to split the bill and pay with their own card, which could lead to a lot of wasted time on international phone calls with their various banks to verify payments.

Chinese. Terrible tips, but they tend to spend inordinate amounts. I sold one table, probably illegally, 5 live giant Mozambique Crayfish - large lobster size - but the animals had large balls of eggs (berries) - so the tips were fine.

The English. They are terrible at home. I’ve worked service in London. But they read their guide book, and when it says, tipping is normally around 10%, by golly they will do that. Regardless of quality of service.

The Australians. Fuck the Australians. Minimum wage - which is what I was working for the time was a mere R5 an hour, AU$ 0.41 and US$ 0.27. I get that in their benighted country set about with all manner of animals who would really prefer the human population dead, their government has set an actual living minimum age, which keeps service staff alive, until they meet a salt water crocodile or box jellyfish or something.

A bit of a rant, I suppose, but yes, those of us who have a profit motive to quickly indentify nationality can certainly learn how to do so.

22

But “cheese” can cover a multitude of different foods. “American cheese” barely qualifies in my opinion.

23

American cheese is not cheese. It is a form of plastic that is applied to a burger in order to allow gerkin slices to adhere.

24

Exactly. In fact, it is labeled as a “cheese product”. That sounds “synthetic” to me. :flushed:

25

Ooo, ooo, now do it with German tourists! And English tourists! As an American who was living in Europe for a bit over five years, those two nationalities seemed to stick out quite a bit themselves. You can do this list with a host of nationalities.

Overall, I see where most of these observations are coming from, and we acclimated expats made similar observations over time about our fellow countryfolk. I’m not really sure I’ve observed the ketchup or cheese thing. I mean, we like both of those, but I don’t remember that sticking out. Hell, when my Polish cousin was visiting me in the States, I took him to a nice, sit-down pizza/Italian place, and when the pizza came out, he asked for ketchup. I was aghast and bemused. Apparently, not an uncommon thing in that part of Central Europe. In fact, when I went to the Polish grocery here in Chicago later, in their ketchup aisle (and they have like a dozen European ketchups to choose from), I found one specifically for pizza. Now that is putting ketchup on everything.

26

When we last visited Ireland the only place that gave us ice in the drinks was the Subway franchise. I’ sure that’s because it’s an American chain.

And “200 years old” isn’t that impressive to a lot of Americans. In Florida and California you have thins dating back to the 16th century. Along the Eastern coast you have settlements going back to the early 17th century. New england still has a lot of buildings that are over 300 years old.

27

This article mentions the white-sock-wearing thing, which I find bizarre (haven’t worn white socks anywhere in decades except in the remote past while running, never noticed it on tourists either).

The most recent tourism scandal is in Tenerife, where “low-quality” British and German tourists have drawn the ire of locals.

Lying on the beach, belching after rounds of cheap beer and burgers and chips sounds pretty good to me, except for what they’re probably putting on the “chips”.

28

France, right? :slight_smile:

“They always look cheerful and are constantly smiling and seeming happy.”
"In my country, a car will run you down without the driver thinking twice.”

Sounds like the writer lives in one of those third-world shithole countries trump was talking about.

29

As the old saying goes:

Europeans think 100 miles is a long way.
Americans think 100 years is a long time.

30

Again? :roll_eyes: There’s a thread somewhere in Cafe Society for that. Suffice it to say, American cheese is real cheese; just not ‘a’ cheese. It’s a mixture of real cheeses, and is ‘pasteurized process cheese’. What Jasmine is talking about is not ‘cheese’, and is called ‘pasteurized process food product’.

Well, I do occasionally pur Sriracha on pizza…

31

I worked in a tourist biz job for many summers, and noted strange behavior from Brits more than Americans: folks from England would be the only people taking a boat tour in the rain, and would stand on the deck the whole time. Accents were the dead giveaway in other cases, as well as surprise at multilingualism. I had enough French and Spanish that I could conduct transactions, and could at least give prices in Italian and Japanese. I remember once serving some customers in French and as I turned to the next group, who were the living caricature of Southern Gentility, the wife exclaimed, at a volume that could well have been audible south of the Mason Dixon line, and with an accent that was pure Blanche Devereaux on steroids “Isn’t thaht the most beautiful tongue???”

32

The list in the OP is pretty much just BS. I lived in Europe for eight years, and while you can often spot a tourist from the way they are gawking about at things or, you know, holding a map, the rest of that stuff is just meme. Americans do walk differently, though. It’s more a confident stride than an amble. We’re want to get there, dammit!

In my experience, on vacation Germans were the rudest and rowdiest, followed by the French.

33

Make that AGHAST. :flushed:

34

When I was traveling thru Europe as a 20-something in the early 90s, the Canadians liked to stitch a maple leaf flag on their packs, to ensure wherever they went, the locals KNEW they were not those damned, dirty Americans. However, that badge allowed them to ACT like Americans (loud, privileged, and sometimes drunk) and get away with it! Americans, it turns out, were reluctant (me as well) to stitch a stars-and-stripes on our packs, for safety reasons. Maybe we should have done the maple leaf thing?

35

Sure, but these observations aren’t even that bad.

We don’t get the metric system, and maybe like ice and cheese more than most, and are genuinely not good with other languages, but we’re also happy, boisterous, friendly, and filled with wonder at visiting your country.

We sound kind of fun to have around.

36

I definitely recall some Americans doing that in the 90s, too.

I never was one for patriotic display anyway, but if I asked I never hesitated to say I was an American. Even when I was in Serbia after NATO bombed it in 1999, I said where I was from, and just drank plenty of slivovitz with the locals. Nobody cared. It’s not so much being an American, it’s acting like a jackass. Don’t act like a jackass, and you’ll be fine. “The Europeans hate Americans” trope has always been a bunch of bullshit to me. In six or so years living there (5 and half in Hungary, three months in Croatia, 6 months in the UK) I’ve never felt any animosity because of my nationality.

37

This is one of those things where, for better or worse, the rest of the world has followed the US. To go coffee cups are pretty ubiquitous worldwide nowadays.

38

I don’t frequent the Café Society forum, so my apologies if this has already been discussed.

All I can tell you is that - at the time - my childhood ambition to try a McDonalds "“Big Mac” when I went to London as an 11 year old left me in a state of disappointment, as I learned exactly what “american cheese” was actually like.

I mean, industrial pollutant-like. Horrifying.

I have never since eaten at a McDonald’s nor any place that uses weird hot yellow plastic in place of cheese.

I love real cheese, that originally comes from a cow (or goat, or camel or… any lactating mammal from which we can obtain sizeable portions of milk)

I frequent organic cheese markets. I buy boring commercial cheese. I enjoy cheese, hell, I have made my own cheese on a few occasions.

“American cheese” oversteps my limits. It is many bad things, from false advertising to poor taste, from fake colouring (probably carcinogenic), to a bad cooking ingredient.

So yes, @Johnny_L.A, as you say “again.”

If you would prefer to take this up in the Café Society thread, link to it, please, or make a pit thread.

ETA: in the theme of this thread, I am almost 100% certain that only an American would be supporting the idea that American “cheese” is cheese. I’d invite the Swiss, French, British and, actually, most of Europe to comment, but I don’t think it would matter. I feel my support of real cheese in this post would suffice.

39

American cheese - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board

40

There’s two types of American cheese: there’s the plastic-wrapped one, and there is one that comes in blocks and is sliced to order at the deli counter. Now, both of them are processed, but the deal with deli American cheese is that it has sodium citrate (or similar) added to it to make it much more meltable without it separating. It’s easy enough to make at home if you can get your hands on some sodium citrate. And it can be made of any type or blend of cheese. American cheese starts with a young cheddar. It is wonderful stuff when you want gooey-melty action.

The plastic-wrapped singles are a “cheese product” not cheese (which the deli version is.) It’s still mostly dairy products, but it’s not 51% or more actual cheese. There’s dairy in the form of milk, whey, and milk fat in there as well.

Anyhow, if you want to read more about it, Serious Eats has an excellent article. American cheese is not really cheese I would eat on its own, but on top of a hamburger or in a grilled cheese sandwich, nothing beats some slices of deli American cheese.