Wife stabs husband with Squirrel.
OK, CERAMIC Squirrel. (NEWSLINK)
AND–a happy little Squirrel GOES POSTAL!
And you will pay for it. On your xboxy-thingee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRiRyopVm6Q
Must be a heck of a story behind that picture.
I have a friend who used to feed squirrels in his backyard. He’d throw them unsalted peanuts in the shell. He was feeding his squirrel friends one time I was over, then said “OK guys, that’s enough for now”. The scene immediately went from cute to a little scary as a scurry of squirrels (yes, that is the word for a group of them) started advancing on us. He goes, OK, here’s a couple more, and two squirrels start fighting each other over the last of the peanuts, with much squealing and flying fur. He says “uh, let’s go inside”.
Awhile later he told me that a squirrel had torn through the screen of their kitchen window and gotten in the house looking for more food. He stopped feeding them after that… 
I know a few people who have fed squirrels from their hand. It’s pretty easy to get them to take peanuts. But, every person I know who has fed squirrels from their hand has eventually gotten a bite.
Actually, the funny part is that the picture has been around for a while and yet there is no story.
I have a couple of suet bird feeders on short poles out back of my condo, in the strip of land between the retaining wall and the privacy fence, which a couple of squirrels delight in feeding from. They’ll hang on with their hind feet to the curved top of the pole and grab a mouthful of suet, hang straight down while they munch on the scrap in the front paws, then do a curl back up for more. Quite an abs workout, though they’re so fat it’s hard to see any results.
No, I don’t mind them getting some of the suet I put out; there’s still plenty for the birds (grackles, sparrows, woodpeckers, blue jays, cardinals, catbirds, juncos hopping below for scraps), and their gymnastics amuse me. The feeders are far enough from the house that they don’t try to get in. Also, chipmunks scavenge below.
An engineer guy who posts various stunts on youtube, like creating glitter bombs to punish porch pirates, was frustrated at the squirrels in his backyard eating all the seed in his birdfeeders, so he created squirrel mazes to see if they could be defeated. Long story short, they defeated every trick he came up with to try to thwart them.
When I was six or seven years old, my mother went next door to talk to the neighbor lady as she hung up her laundry. Seems Mr. Squirrel came barrel-assing out of a tree and was snarling and foaming at the mouth at them and chased them into her house. They called the police and an officer came out and shot it dead. And I missed the whole damn thing.
Squirrels are bastards. They run back and forth on my deck rail just to torment the dogs. The Chihuahuas go insane.
I tell them all the time the squirrels are about their size, much cuter and have better teeth. Do not anger them.
I have one squirrel who knows me. I thought she (I think) must’ve had a litter because I’ve missed her a month or two. She’s recently showed back up. I would never put my hand close to her mouth. But, I do put seeds or nuts just for her on a planter tray on the deck and she will come eat it, chatting with me and wary of the pets.
I still don’t trust them. Fickle and fierce. They will turn on you on a dime.
They leave pecan shells allover my deck. Messy assholes.
I know this story does not speak to the intent of the OP. Sorry, @Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor , I have to say I love the title of your thread. It’s perfect!!
I finally got rid of the squirrels eating from the suet feeder by throwing a rope over a high tree branch and hanging the feeder about 10 feet down from that. That’s enough length that the couple of times I’ve seen squirrels trying to climb down it, it has started swinging and they’ve flown off of it. And I mean, that’s additional bonus content.
This thread will eventually mutate into Damn those raccoons! and then we’re off to the races.
I’ve seen those videos! They’re amazing!