Squirrels Falling From Heaven

This morning, I’m walking to my car, and I’m almost there–getting ready to unlock my door when poof something falls from the sky. I’m wearing a long dress (almost down to my ankles, as it’s better to hide my fat ass that way…not that my ass falls to my ankles, but I digress), and all of the sudden there’s something tangled in my dress, at my ankles, scrambling around my feet. Now, the rational part of my mind is saying, “Oh, my, this must be a squirrel”, however, the emotional part of my mind is screaming, “OHMYGODTHERE’SALIVEANIMALCRAWLINGUPMYLEGANDIT’SGOING TO EATME!” In the street, during the morning rush hour traffic, my whole neighborhood watching, I’m dancing and screaming like a little girl.

The poor squirrel is laying on the road, on it’s side, twitching, a frantic look in it’s eyes. It scooted under my car, and (at this point), I’ve stopped screeching and cautiously edge towards my door, where I literally jump in and slam shut the door. My son, who is on the other side of the car, and who has witnessed his mother dancing around her car on Market Street, is standing by the passenger’s side, very confused. “Get in the car!” I screech at him through the closed window. I’m picturing the squirrel skirting under the car for it’s second attack of the day. Son hops in, slams shut the door. “What happened?” he asks. “It was a squirrel!” I say. “Just a squirrel?” he asks. Ah, the innocence of youth.

We sit there for a few minutes, waiting for a furried tail to jump on the hood of the car, when I see it scurry across the street. It’s still on it’s side and isn’t looking too well. I’m not sure if it was the fall from the sky, or my hysterical dance (or the fact that it probably got a fairly extensive look up my dress) which threw it into the confused and damaged state of mind.

I didn’t tell anyone at work (although I’m sure my son’s camp knows all about the Squirrel attack by now), but I knew that someone at SDMB would know exactally what I’m talking about…

It could have been worse. If you were a guy in that dress, the squirrel might have run right up your leg and tried to bury your nuts.
I can only imagine the horror had it been raining cats and dogs instead.

Did you happen to see any hawks flying over about the time it fell?

Tonight for the first time
Just to amuse you girls
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining squirrels!

It’s raining squirrels
It’s raining squirrels
Go, girls!

I’m gonna go out
And look like a putz
And make a noise like some nuts!

It’s rainin’ squirrels
It’s raining squirrels
They fall like pearls

Brown, gray, fat, thin,
Till you’re ready for the looney bin!

God bless Mother Nature
She’s a big nut, too
She took over heaven
And she did what she had to do

She taught every Angel
To rearrange their curls
And then each and every person
Gets hit on the head by squirrels

It’s raining squirrels
It’s raining squirrels
Go, girls!

I’m gonna go out
And look like a putz
And make a noise like some nus!

:slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek: :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek: :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek:

T H A N K G O D ! !

some of you out there have a little too much time on your hands!!

:slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek: :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek: :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :eek:


Eve! I just cleaned my monitor yesterday!
And the reason the squirrel was thrown out of heaven, is because…

Squirrels are Evil!!!

Especially when they’re trying to climb up your dress at 7:45 am.

eve I am humbled by your creativity. It gives me a whole new perspective on the entire experience. Thank you.

Are you sure it wasn’t Ray Stevens’ Mississppi revival squirrel?

Did you have a religious experience when he was up your leg?

Psh. And they want athletes to me my ‘idol’? Can THEY change a song so it’s entitled ‘It’s Raining Squirrels’? I don’t think so.

(Heh. I am never going to watch the Beetlejuice Review show at work [they use that original song] in the same way ever again. :smiley: )