Stale workplace jokes

Cafe Society
1

I’ve heard quite a few in my 20 years of working. But the ones that some still think are funny (but I thought weren’t funny after the first hearing):
[ul]
[li]While sitting at someone else’s desk (usually a female’s): “Gee, Kathy, you forget to shave?”[/li][li]While obviously working very hard: “AWB, you workin’ hard or hardly workin’?”[/li][li]While working on the innards of a computer: “You broke it again!”[/li][li]While delivering pizzas: “Hey Domino’s Guy! You got a pizza to give me?” (Yeah, like I’m like the @!#?@! ice cream truck driver, selling pizza by the slice out of my truck. :rolleyes: )[/li][li]Again while delivering pizzas, passing by someone in a communal area: “Yo, those my free pizzas, right?”[/li][/ul]

So what are the workplace jokes that you’re sick of?

2

If you work in the computer business, anything involving Windows, e.g. “I don’t do Windows,” “you broke my Windows”…you get the picture.

On the other hand, jokes about eunuchs never get old.

3

Working with older guys, I hear some good ones:

Said of being really busy:
“I’m busier than a cat covered in shit.”
“I’m up to my elbows in alligators.”

And I hope the female dopers will forgive me for thinking this one was funny:
“If it was easy, we’d have the women do it.”

4

Working with older guys, I hear some good ones:

Said of being really busy:
“I’m busier than a cat covered in shit.”
“I’m up to my elbows in alligators.”

And I hope the female dopers will forgive me for thinking this one was funny:
“If it was easy, we’d have the women do it.”

5

Oops! Sorry about the double posting!

6

Must_control_fist_of_death!

On payday:
“All this and I get paid too?”
“Hey, did ya give me a raise?”

On working on computers:
“I can fix it- with a hammer!”

Zette

7

After being introduced to a room full of people: “There will be a quiz on this later!”

8

I have to admit that my co-workers and I are guilty of using all of these. We know they are stupid but they make us smile.
:stuck_out_tongue: <–yeah, like that! and sometimes like this → :rolleyes:

On payday - “Wow! I get paid again?!”
Coming in late - “Thanks for joining us today.”
Leaving before 5 - “Half day today?”

I get this one after a haircut all the time and hate it - “GET A HAIRCUT!” or “Did you get a haircut?” Followed by the obligatory - “No, I got them all cut.”

Working when you’re not scheduled - “What are you doing here?” always answered with “I work here. What are YOU doing here?”

When entering a room with people waiting for someone (not you): “You’re probably wondering why I called you all here today.” I’ve actually had people fall for that one. :slight_smile:

9

“I’m not late… I’m early for tomorrow.”

Ughgh.

10

Every December-end at my old job as we were leaving, the same guy would have to say, “See everybody next year, ha, ha!” We figured in every office there has to be one. I refuse to step up to the plate on this, however it affects my “team player” rating.