Can we handle one more thread on this guy?
[ul]Standing Tall With God
by Jack Schickt[/ul]
<scene opens in family hardware store. Little Timmy and little old man in frame>
Little Old Man: Excuse me, little Timmy, I can’t reach the sandpaper. Could you get it for me?
Little Timmy: I can’t help you. God says never to be the tool of evil.
Little Old Man (foaming at mouth) I AM NOT EVIL! I AM JUST A LITTLE OLD MAN TRYING TO GET SOME SANDPAPER! HOW DARE YOU!
Little Timmy: But the bible says that short people are the minions of Satan. Allow my Uncle Bob to explain.
(Uncle Bob climbs through window)
Uncle Bob: That’s right, little Timmy. The Bible says that the righteous will stand tall in the light of the Lord. It also says that only the small man is tempted by evil. So, you see little old man, short people are the servants of Beezlebub.
Little Old Man: Erm… but doesn’t science tell us that all men are equal?
Uncle Bob: No, science tells us that exposure to short people causes athlete’s foot, pancreatic cancer, and gingivitus.
Little Old Man: Jeepers, you’re right. So what can I do?
Uncle Bob: Don’t be afraid, little old man, God can forgive. I have a medievel stretching rack in my basement. If you come with me we’ll pray for your soul and add a few inches to that short frame of yours.
Little Old Man: But isn’t the rack a torture device?
Little Timmy: Only when used by Catholics!
All: HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
Little Old Man: Thank you, little Timmy. Thank you, Uncle Bob. After today, I too will be able to stand tall with God.
[ul]THE END[/ul]
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