“Pitched by a crazy person”? That seems a little over the top. Star Magic Jackson, Jr., the Hollywood Sequel Doctor could have been involved, but there are Star Trek episodes (not to mention other SF) that have premises that are equally wacky.
Wait, did they actually say “400 tons” of water? Because that’d be 5x8x10 meters, or some equivalent dimensions. Way too small for a pair of whales.
Has anyone mentioned Star Trek IV had Spock’s greatest line ever?
“One damn minute, admiral!”
You know, Zachary Quinto was always going to have some impossibly big shoes to fill — and so it was a brilliant move to have the Vulcan Science Academy explain that they’re willing to accept the guy on the strength of his flawless marks, despite the handicap that’s his human mother.
“Live long and go fuck yourself,” Spock implied.
Folks, I don’t know how much you all are into that sort of thing, but after making this post I looked to see if the following had done Star Trek 4
Honest Trailers
Pitch Meeting
and Everything Wrong With
Apparently only EWW had done Trek 4.
And its HILARIOUS. I highly recommend the video, I hadnt seen The Voyage Home in quite a while so I had forgotten a lot of little bits including:
Apparently at the pizza place Gillian and Kirk each order a large mushroom pizza.
“Where were planning to eat this food on this tiny bistro table?? Who got to eat a LARGE PIZZA out of their lap??”
A horrible travesty.
Given the state of canon in the 80s, as far as I’m concerned Carol Marcus is “the blonde lab girl”.
And “Ruth” was some sexual daydream and not a real women. Did she even have a line?
As for the film, I think it was clearly written by someone that had never seen Star Trek, AND took too much LDS. I’d forgotten the “claymation time travel”, and I could have gone the rest of my life never remembering it.
The proble was stupid: I can’t find the whales, so I’m going to destroy the planet. Why? What if there be whales, but they are, I dunno, busy? Whatever the probe is doing is going to destroy any whales left. Not smart. And for a oprobe that is so sophisticated that nothing Starfleet can do has any effect, it sure is stupid. Maybe ask the people on the planet where the whales be.
The whole plot about transparent aluminum is not only offensively stupid for the temporal trouble it will cause, but you don’t NEED it. For the what? ten minutes they’ll be in there, they can suck it up.
I will say it had two good lines: “I’m from Iowa, I only work in outer space”, and Chekov’s awe-filled: “It is…the Enterprise!”
It features my teen crush Jane Wiedlin in a 15 second cameo as an alien Star Fleet officer. Who cares if the rest of the film is preposterous?
While that fixes Ruth being some 15 years older then a young Kirk in the Academy…making her a sexual fantasy and that being exposed in front of the crew is…yikes.
“I want to be a princess!”
"I want shoot an old style revolver!
“I want to fuck the wife of one of my instructors.”
Maybe they have one of those raised pizza holders— I have seen them used so the pizza takes up less table space.
Brian
Who orders plain mushroom pizza? Add a dang pepperoni for crissakes
I just looked up the script online.
Gillian: A large mushroom and pepperoni with extra onions. And a Michelob.
Waiter: And you sir?
Kirk: Make it two.
Perhaps by “make it two”, he meant two Michelobs?
It was two mushroom pepperonis and a beer. Dunno how they ate that much pizza
Well, good. I’m glad to know that.
Maybe that order meant a slice. (just guessing)
I’ve never ordered a slice. Do you specify slice size? Otherwise it sounds like an entire pizza. Two large.
And she emphasized lots of onions. And it was two Michelobs. And they got one whole large pizza to go because Kirk got a notice on his “pager”, but they did start drinking the beer. And Kirk took it with him back to the ship, handeling it like he had never carried a pizza before.
Yes, I just watched the entire movie and I’m glad I did. It’s a comedy for heavens sake, something they did from time to time on TOS. It was a little better than just OK, just a little.
And I don’t think that I have had a Michelob since the 80’s. That took me back.
Was it a joke, i.e., Kirk doesn’t know what she’s ordering so he does an “I’ll have what she’s having,” which underscores his alienness. Or it’s a flirty thing.
Never ordered a slice? Really?
Anyway, if I were the waiter, I would definitely ask if they actually wanted two big pizzas unless it was a slice or each pizza was a personal sized (small) pizza or really one pizza with beer. But it’s a movie so they didn’t think about that.
Star Trek has 60 years of history of technobabble, soft science fiction, and playing fast and loose with physics and biology. Its scripts have never held up to close scrutiny.
And this thread is obsessed with whether the pizza order made sense, whether they would know where Alameda was, and whether Chekov would have been in a military hospital, rather than a civilian hospital.
Not. A. Documentary. 