Star Wars 1-3, would be great if Joss Whedon re-did them

I didnt mind the plot lines of SW 1-3, but the writing was just horrible, I mean HORRIBLE. Leave the plots alone, but nobody, but nobody (well maybe Tarentino) writes dialoge like Joss. I firmly believe if eps 1-3 were just written better, better pacing, more “person” like, we would talk about them, like most talk about 4-7.

I liked Firefly, though I din’t see it until it was released on DVD, and I enjoyed Serenity but I didn’t enjoy it as much as my Whedon fan-boy friends. I don’t know how Whedon would have done Star Wars but I do agree that he would have had Padme kicking everyone’s ass. Can Whedon even do a series without the whole cult of women warrior thing going?


  1. I like how Joss Whedon’s fans apparently are all on a first name basis with him.

  2. Episode 7??

  3. In any event, I gotta tell you, you’re likely wrong. The dialogue in the first three films (Star Wars, ESB, and Return of the Jedi) wasn’t good. It was, for the most part, bad; maybe not as many really awful moments as in some of the prequels, but it was pretty bad at times.

“Star Wars” was not about witty, post-ironic repartee, a la Joss Whedon, nor was it about witty, pop-subreferencing dialogue a la Quentin Tarantino. “Star Wars” was about big time space battles, heroic acts, and great action set peices. The prequels failed in part because they just didn’t pace the action very well.

He made it through six seasons of Angel before he introduced a butt-kicking, petite warrior girl.

As for my vote for a new SW director, I vote for Genndy Tartakovsky.

Personally, there’s only one director I’d like to see take a shot at SW 1-3:

Uwe Boll

That would be something to watch!

And claw your eyes out afterward!

Let’s see where the potential problems with that sentence are.

  • He didn’t make it through six season of Angel, period. He got cut off after five.
  • Angel was a spinoff of a show about a butt-kicking petite warrior girl.
  • Faith might not exactly be petite, but she had enough appearance in seasons 1 and 4 to step on your point. (Buffy’s guest appearance probably don’t count.)

So? It was still Angel’s show. Faith was only an infrequent guest star, and of the regular supporting cast, the males were much better combatants than the females until Illyria showed up.

And Illyria, a cruel alien god, was a much different character than Buffy, an ordinary young woman granted great power and geat responsibility, or River, a genius driven insane and turned into a psychic weapon who’s a danger to her own friends.

The only similarities are their gender and their builds. So Whedon like skinny girls. Big whoop.

Honestly, these criticism are making me like the idea of a Whedon Star Wars more and more. What if Padme was an ass-kicking Jedi, instead of an ass-kicking politician turned pregnant doormat? The final fight would have been even better if it were between Padme and Anakin, with her knowing that she’s pregnant with his children. That’s some drama right there.

Why not? I’ve met him, twice, and chatted briefly once (not in an autograoh line). He’s very informal.

The key is if Joss wrote the prequels, they would have all the elements you want. Plus dialogue that works, plus a story that makes sense, plus a motivation for Vader’s fall that actually works. Although frankly, any third-grader could have written a better script than Lucas did.

I think just letting Wheden work with the dialogue would work beautifully. Take the script as written by Lucas (who is, after all, known for his utter inability to write sustained dialogue) and have Wheden tweak it. Keep the same Lucas cheese-tacular feel, and give it enough meat to make the viewer actually give a rolling rat’s-ass.

Of course he’d never do it that way, IMO - I can’t see him being willing to limit his input in the ‘feel’ of a scene. More’s the pity.

Whedon’s a veteran script-doctor. He knows how to do it. While this approach made him look foolish in Alien Resurrection and the Buffy movie (and to a lesser extent X-Men), if Lucas promised to not to rewrite anything without his permission, the lure of working on Star Wars may have been enough to draw him in.

Oh, and Hal would have to shoot first again.

(Or did you mean Lucas would never consent to it? I agree there)

And if not Joss, then Lucas should have gotten Princess Leia to do some script-doctoring. Carrie Fisher is a well-respected pro in this field.

And that would have been some sweet press right there.

So here’s how much I don’t know - I didn’t know he worked on those. I haven’t exactly researched the guy. So, you know, swell!

However, ditto on the Lucas, because he’s a schmuck.

I acknowledge the brainfart on how many seasons the show had. However, point two is irrelevant: sure, it’s the same universe as Buffy, but the show did not have a regular character who was a) female, and b) could fight worth a damn. Ergo, he can do a series that does not feature a butt-kicking girl. And Faith was never more than an occasional guest star, and she originally appeared as a villain, so I don’t think that steps on my point at all.


“I’m sorry, Greedo. I can’t do that.”


He just opens airlocks, turns off life support systems and refuses to open the pod-bay doors again.

I’m a big fan of Whedon’s but I agree that he would have been ill-suited for Star Wars. And count me as another person who was disappointed with Serenity. Whedon really needs the long form format of series TV to develop complex characters and intricate plots.

Miller beat me to my own recommendation. I just watched the Clone Wars DVD and it was mind-blowing just how good it was. Orders of magnitude better than the prequels. The action sequences were much better paced and directed, the acting better (for the most part) and the romance scenes weren’t even cringe-inducing.

Alternatively, I would love to have seen what Spielberg could have done if Lucas had let him get his hands on the material.

Darth Maul would have had two walkie-talkies instead of one.

I don’t think the dialogue in ROTS was as bad as the others. You had Obi-Wan’s screaming, “You were the chosen one!” arguably THE best line from the movie. And I loved the way Ewan delivered the line, “Chancellor, Sith Lords are our specialty.” I just love the way he annunciated the last word.

Allow me to ruin that line for you.


Big Whedon fan, though willing to admit he isn’t a god. I think there would’ve been good and bad things had he helmed SW 1-3. would it have been better? I think he would’ve orchestrated the move to the dark side by Anakin much better as seduction by evil is a theme he does exceedingly well. I think the dialogue would’ve have been better in general and the plot tighter. Overall, yes, probably better – epic, probably not.

I happen to think Alan Smithee could’ve done a better job than Lucas on SW 1-3. In fact some of his work on 1-3 makes Howard the Duck look like Citizen Kane.

I personally believe that had Lucas truly collarborated with talented folks it could’ve been better. I still think his basic design skills rock and his overall look and feel of the scenes were great. It was just like watching the Royal Shakespeare Company do “Aaron Slick from Pumpkin Crick” with killer production values. The plotting and dialogue were horrendously awful on those three films. The actors and everyone else did what they could with what they got (which wasn’t much).

It’s probably easier to answer who wouldn’t have done SW 1-3 better than Lucas in fact, I have an idea for a thread to rival the What if the Lord of the Rings were done by X which I’m starting now!