Starburst is telling kids to eat poison

I swear I am not making this up.

It’s on a full page ad on the back of React magazine, a newspaper insert magazine for teenagers in my local paper. The Starburst ad says in the middle of the page “5 flavors. 6 if you drop it on the street.”

At the bottom, it says “so it’s sitting in a pool of antifreeze. just think of it as a delightful road fondue to complement that lemon, orange, strawberry, green apple or cherry blast of fruit juiciness.”

I’ve read warnings that antifreeze tastes sweet, and dogs will lap it up from a puddle, and die. To me, that constitutes poison.

What the hell are they thinking?

I submitted an e-mail at their web site. I’ll post any response I get here.


It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.

My suggestion: lighten up.
Kids aren’t nearly as stupid as adults think they are. In fact, kids aren’t nearly as stupid as adults are. I’m willing to be that zero children will go and lap up antifreeze because there’s a picture of starburst laying in a puddle of it.

Also, the amount of antifreeze you’d ingest from eating a starburst that was dropped in in would not be fatal or even be cause for concern. I know this first-hand. I had a hose explode in my face while working on my car, and got antifreeze in my hair, eyes, nose & lungs, mouth & stomach. Not at all pleasant, but definitely not fatal.

I never fed anybody birdseed with metal pellets in it, hoping to trap them with a magnet, nor did I ever drop an anvil on their heads or try to shoot anybody in the face thinking it would just blacken their hair. You’d think I would have tried it though, it happened in all the cartoons I used to watch. But back to my original point: Kids are not as stupid as we wise and educated grownups tend to assume.

There are no dangerous weapons,
Only dangerous men.

Joe Cool

UGH. I don’t know who taste-tested the antifreeze, but it doesn’t taste sweet at all. It tastes HORRIBLE.

Maybe I’m using the wrong brand…

It does look an awful lot like mountain dew, though. Maybe we should put warning labels on the antifreeze stating

“THIS IS NOT MOUNTAIN DEW. DO NOT DRINK IT. BUT IT TASTES SWEET IF YOU’RE A DOG.”


There are no dangerous weapons,
Only dangerous men.

Joe Cool

I don’t think kids are stupid, but I do think kids do stupid things sometimes.

Did you try it? :eek:

Anyway, I said I’d post any repsonse I got from Starburst here (this is the second e-mail, the first being an automated “we got your letter” email).

Starburst response follows:

My guess is either there were a large number of complaints, or (more likely) they ran this by their legal department, and realized “We could get sued!

It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.

yeah, but not on purpose. read my first response above. I tried swallowing, inhaling, practically bathing in antifreeze. it sucked a lot, but it was definitely not fatal.


There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
– Demosthenes

Joe Cool