You must be a lot older than I thought. IIRC, what “respectable” women did in the 1950s and 60s was start dyeing before it was necessary and keep it up religiously until advanced crone-hood.
And one never, but never, spoke of another’s dye job. One just Didn’t.
I’m like a lot of folks upthread: historically I didn’t think of individuals as being dyed. Until I moved down here. Almost every retired couple I see consist of a man with thinning or wispy purely gray hair and/or beard. Accompanied by a woman obviously his wife of decades with a bushy head of dark brown hair. Hmmm … one of these things does not go with the other.
I’ve decided that less than 10% of women over 50 are really the color they appear to be. I’ve switched from assuming almost no individuals dye to assuming almost all do. At least among women. Occasionally I see wizened guys with elderly skin and dark brown to black hair. Not buyin’ it, Pops.
As for me, I started going gray at 25 and was fully gray by 30. Now at 56 the only difference is my taller, more tanned, forehead and temples.
I said 55. I want to say my dad didn’t go gray until his 50’s. I think my mom was dying her hair much earlier than that (40’s or maybe even earlier), but then her father supposedly went gray in his 20’s :eek:
But generally, anyone who appears to be past middle age, if they don’t show any gray I’d be inclined to assume they’re dying their hair.
Then of course there’s the nice old lady at church with the red hair. I certainly hope she doesn’t think she’s fooling anybody. If that hair was any redder, it would come with a clown nose
There’s a specific vitamin deficiency, although I forget which one, that can cause your hair to lose pigment. Some people who have malabsorption will gray early, but can take vitamin supplements, and have their hair color return. That has nothing to do with “lifestyle,” in terms of things like smoking, though. Once you gray naturally, megadoses of the vitamin won’t make your hair pigment return, though.
I’m 48, and have some gray hair, but it’s all in the back, on the bottom of my hairline, so it isn’t very visible. When you look at my face, there’s no visible gray. I hope that doesn’t mean people think I dye my hair. It’s really dark, but there’s some gradation of colors: natural hair isn’t the same color all over, especially long hair, because there will be some sun-bleaching on some of it, and all strands are just not exactly alike. I hope that clues people in that it’s natural. I know a really good dye job can have gradations and highlights, but I couldn’t afford a job like that. If my hair were dyed, it’d be a cheap home job that would be flat, and monochrome. I hope that occurs to people who think anyone over 40 is either gray or dyed.
I’m weird. Only in the last year have I started to get gray hair, and I’m 55, and smoked and drank and ate whatever I wanted and never used sunscreen and so on. My younger brothers (both in their 40s now) have completely gray hair. I’m not sure how much gray my younger sister has, because she admits that she colors her hair, and has for a few years now.
So my perception is a bit skewed, I think, and I tend to assume that what I see is someone’s natural color, even if they’re 40 or 50 years old. I’m probably wrong most of the time.
I started getting glares before I’d turned 40, from old-classmates and acquaintances who’d started dying in their 20s due to white hairs and who could see my very-few white hairs. They didn’t exactly assume that anybody their age would dye, but they find those of us who don’t dye absolutely offensive.
I only assume dye/wig if the color is not found in nature, or if there is something way off about the combination - such as a carrothead (and I mean carrot) with black eyebrows. The natural carrots I know even have carroty eyelashes. My brother has reddish-brown hair; when he was younger people would ask why did he dye, now they ask what brand he uses, he’s never dyed. I’ve got relatives who went white before 30, others who still had raven locks into their late 70s. There’s just too much variation to make assumptions.
I had the same reaction as LSLGuy when I read BrotherCadfael’s post, because I’ve been around quite a while, and have been dying my hair on and off since my 20s.
My natural shade was very dark brown, people usually referred to it as black. My first white hair, just a few at first, happened when I was not quite 20. Many of my eminently respectable young women friends were also colouring their hair in the late 60s and early 70s.
This is also how you tell if a blonde is a natural blonde or not. People who color their hair almost never color their eyebrows. The mismatch is a dead giveaway.
I’m only 34, and not only is my hair (when I haven’t shaved my head) a becoming quite thoroughly grey, it is also very rapidly disappearing from the top of my head! My beard, which previously gave me the calico look described above (brown hair, thick and dark brown eyebrows, auburn cheeks, and very red chin and mustache) is now turning very white/greyish (probably 50%) if I let it grow.
I answered fifty-five. This was the age for me. Actually, I’m not gray all over, just a few gray hairs at the temples. Now my mom just turned eighty three, and believe it or not she isn’t gray at all. Her brown hair is a bit lighter than it used to be, but not gray.
I’m going with 55 because that is the age that people began asking me if I had lightened my hair. I’m a (natural) golden blonde, or at least I was. Now I’m more like a light blonde. My ‘grey’ hair is clearly coming in as white hair and since it isn’t changing color in clumps, but fairly equally all over my head, it is giving me the appearance of having lightened my hair color. I thought I’d hate going grey, but this is actually kind of nice. If it goes completely white before I’m ready to rock that look, I may color it, but in the meantime, I’m doing ok.
I have noticed a real change in texture, however. That is how I realized I was actually going grey - the changed texture of the hair strands.
