Lately I’ve had a fear of being “old”. I know 28 isn’t old by most measures. But I still worry about it. Probably because I figured I’d be settled, successful and happy by my late twenties. That sure hasn’t happened.
Compounding this worry - My hair is going gray. It started at 23. Then, it didn’t matter. I was in a good relationship. I was happy. Who cares if I go gray?
Now - I’m not. Not happy, not successful, not in a relationship. And the gray is advancing quickly. My temples are shifting fast. And it’s making me self-conscious in a bad way.
I know it’s silly. But should I start dyeing my hair back to its original dark brown?
A pic might help, but my view in general is: Nah, there is nothing wrong with a little grey. I think a lot of women would view grey hair at the temples as “distinguished”.
My 25 year old boyfriend already has some grey hair (and yes it started before we got together!). I’ve never even thought of encouraging him to dye it because I’d find the artificiality of that to be sort of unattractive, whereas I feel completely neutral about his greyness. Hey, grey hair happens. So does baldness. It really isn’t a big deal unless you make it into one. Sounds like your unhappiness/lack of confidence about being single is the real problem that needs to be addressed.
If you’re going gray at 28 you may likely be completely gray in your 30’s. I think it’s more publicly acceptable for men to gray early than women but if it bothers you then color it. Keep in mind that you can’t do it half-assed. Men traditionally aren’t use to spending a lot of time and upkeep on their hair.
Seriously, it depends on how your grey looks. So, as others have said, a photo might help. I got lucky and have a narrow tract of grey hair starting from the top of my forehead, slightly to one side, and going back to the rear. It’s not uncool.
Dye it if it bugs you. There’s nothing wrong with dying your hair, and you will look younger. Pick a lighter dye so you don’t get a visual shocker. Your darker hair will not be lighter. What ever you do don’t pull the gray hairs you’ll want them later. A good trick for when you have a few scattered gray hairs is to cut them a half inch shorter than the other hairs. You don’t lose the volume but the gray isn’t as prominent.
Don’t be surprised - a lot of greys don’t dye well. So its something you need to be dedicated to. And if you are going grey quickly, and your are lucky enough that your greys take dye, you should start planning your out now (my dye fades off my greys in a few weeks, so I don’t need to worry about an out).
I tend to dye at home, the results last a little less longer than a salon, but the look is similar (for me) and the box is $6 rather than the $60 I pay to have it done in a salon.
I’m of the opinion that guys should generally embrace going grey. Just look at Anderson Cooper or George Clooney.
That said, I have a friend in his early 30’s who would be totally grey by now if not for the constant dying of his hair, and he refuses to stop. If dying your hair will make you more confident in your appearance, go for it.
No harm in trying it out, maybe a “temporary” color that washes out gradually to see if you like it. Going to permanent color is a big step, but I am always so happy after I dye my hair, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. Spoken like a true 54 year old woman. My natural color is medium blonde, so a little grey isn’t too bad, but if I had darker hair with grey growing in, then I would definitely have started with the dye sooner.
While society may think that gray is distinguished, what matters is what you think. If you don’t like it or are self-consious about it, then by all means, dye away.
I’ve been dying my hair since my mid 20’s and love the different looks I can get by using different color combinations. It’s less of a “youthful” thing to me, it’s more of a “fun” thing to do. <spoken like a true almost-50-year-old>
Someone upthread mentioned using a lighter color and I have to agree with that. While gray hair does tend to not take color as well, you don’t want a solid d.a.r.k. b.r.o.w.n. color that looks artificial. If you have the money, maybe try a good salon color first. It’ll be $60+ but you’ll get the best results. I’ve since given in to the $6.00 boxes of grocery store color but I would have been too chicken to do that the first time I dyed my hair.
Since society judges men much less harshly for gray hair, I don’t think you should dye it. You may even get some benefit from looking a little older and distinguished.
While dying your hair isn’t the end of the world, you will pay for it in either time or money. For the $60 (and over an hour each time) you would spend at a salon, you could take 6 women out for coffee dates. The cheaper home kits do not give the most natural looking results. The better home kits are $15-$20.
Also, most of the chemicals involved are not good for you or the environment. Take a look at the ingredients. Henna is a natural alternative, but results are less predictable and it is even more time consuming than regular home kits.
As others have said, the gray probably does not detract from your looks and could possibly even enhance your image. BUT, the fact that you don’t like it means you don’t feel confident about it. I’ve done pretty much everything to my hair, and would recommend a semi-permanent hair color for you. Permanent hair color is embedded in the hair shaft, and thus changes all of your hair. But semi-permanent only coats the hair rather than penetrating. This means that if you choose a shade slightly lighter than your natural hair color, the gray will look darker but the brown won’t look lighter.
This is the brand I use, and I like it. It looks better about 4 or 5 hairwashes in, because at first it’s just a bit solid, but it works well and never gives me a noticeable root line or anything like that. It covers the gray and kind of spiffs up the whole image.