And frankly, Lemur, the very fact that Red Shirt pretty clearly has some emotional issues of his own makes him way more innocent than Hyde in my book. One is someone trapped in an adolescent vision of hell; the other is a fine example of what Hannah Arendt called the banality of evil.
Oh, christonafuckingcracker, I remember that thread. :rolleyes: :smack:
It degenerated into people arguing whether the cop should have gotten out of the way or shot into the vehicle, with Martin Hyde popping up periodically to inform us it was a good thing the pancake thief was dead.
That was pretty soon after I joined, and I was tempted to quit after reading it.
It wasn’t even the pancake thief, but a passenger. Martin was actually holding that just being friends with a pancake thief was enough to make the world better with the kid dead.
I believe you may be onto something.
I believe that some people are born on third base and spend their lives thinking they hit a triple. (I totally ripped that one off - I don’t know from whom, though.)
I believe that we should be lovers.
(Okay, I concede the thread to Martin Hyde. I’d have to work hard at coming up with more controversial beliefs than his. 
)
Well, duh. Evolution makes us parents think our babies are cute because otherwise we wouldn’t take care of the little brats. And women’s bodies aren’t sexually attractive, it’s just that men THINK they’re attractive, sugar isn’t sweet, it just TASTES sweet, 90F isn’t warm, it just FEELS warm.
What do you think it means for someone to call a baby “cute”? It means they feel like taking care of that baby. You’re “besotted” with that baby. You “love” the baby. Of course it’s all just a con-job pulled on us by evolution to make sure our genes get passed on to the next generation. Doesn’t mean we don’t feel it.
I believe a lot of these have been said.
I believe that anyone who doesn’t have an appreciation of “classical” music is intellectually and morally bankrupt.
I believe that any classical musician who doesn’t like Wagner needs to get a new job.
I believe that Western music is inherently better than non-Western music.
I believe seat belt laws are stupid. If some idiot wants to risk death because they’re too damn lazy to buckle up, fine by me. I also believe that insurance companies should be allowed to refuse to pay out to people who weren’t wearing seat belts.
I believe capitalism sucks.
I believe capitalism is the best economic system out there.
I believe democracy is a terrible idea that cannot work in the long run.
I have no idea if there’s a god(s). More to the point, I don’t care.
I believe New Englanders are better than anyone else.
I believe the above comment makes me an arrogant asshole.
I believe that Yankees fans are inherently evil.
I believe the above comment makes me terrible perceptive.
I believe that anyone who commits a premeditated violent crime should receive life in prison without parole. If they are mentally ill, they should be institutionalized for life.
I believe homosexuals should not be allowed to legally marry.
I believe that heterosexuals should not be allowed to legally marry.
I believe that I am legally married.
I believe the above comment makes me a hypocrite.
I have no problem with the word “he”.
I believe the average human is an avaricious, lazy, stupid asshole.
I’d rather be smart than pleasant.
I believe that posting to internet message boards is an idiotic waste of time, especially when you have homework to do.
I believe that I am not exempt from the above comment.
I believe that the membership of this board generally represents the upper end of the intellectual spectrum.
I believe the above comment is a frightening commentary on humankind.
Well, yeah, about the reason that parents are besotted, but no to the examples you gave. In all of the other cases you mention, the terms being used as they’re defined; sweetness is defined as “how sugar tastes”, sexual attraction is defined as “how that hottie makes me feel” and 90F is defined as “warm”. (If you’d said 76F, there could be argument. Not at 90F.)
However, babies aren’t cute by any objective standard. Nothing that looks like a baby but isn’t a baby is ‘cute’. It’s hairless and disproportionate and ugly.
I have to disagree with this. In animation (as just one example) the proprtions of a baby are the standard for cute. Large head, bowed legs, chubby tummy. Take a look at Tweety Bird (again, as just one example).
I do not think I have ever agreed with you more than on this post and I agree with you quite often. Hyde is well name. He can seem almost normal at times and then the Dark side bursts out. He doesn’t seem to like anybody, he especially does not seem to like most of the people on this board. I will give him credit for sticking it out despite being immensely unpopular, but he is probably the only long time poster I would prefer to just go away.
**Der Trihs ** has pissed me off at times, he has pissed of others far more, but I also generally like him when he ratchets it back and posts in Café. There is a strong tinge of humanity even in his less sane (to me) ramblings.
Jim
I believe that Fred Phelps posts on this board. looks up Yep.
The first episode of Jericho. Skeet said it to his brother.
I agree with 80% of fachverwirrt’s list as well. Especially the part about the Yankees.
There is no “objective standard” for cuteness. And there are plenty of things that look like babies but aren’t babies that people think are cute. People think dolls are cute, teddy bears are cute, puppies are cute, koalas are cute, pictures of babies are cute. And why? Because they have characteristics that the human mind percieves as “cute”. Big eyes, big heads, stubby legs, small faces, round bodies. Along with those cute baby noises, that cute baby-head smell, and that cute baby-poop smell (baby poop doesn’t stink until they start eating solid food. Yes, I seriously contend that my baby’s shit doesn’t stink.)
If sexual attraction is defined as how a woman makes a heterosexual adult male feel, why isn’t cuteness defined as how a baby makes a parent feel? If you think sexual attractiveness has some sort of objective standard, let me clue you in that my grandma isn’t going to be sexually attracted to Sarah Michelle Gellar, or whichever hottie floats your boat. And if your testicles were removed in a tragic boating accident you wouldn’t find Sarah sexually attractive anymore either. So how is that an objective standard?
I believe (by which I really mean strongly suspect) that sexual identity is not inborn, innate, or inheritable. I believe we human beings forge own personalities and sexual inclinations from infancy onward by making one incremental decision after another before we are even aware of, or can remember, the choices we make. I believe that in a hypothetical society where same-sex love is promulgated from Day One as the highest virtue and opposite-sex love is stigmatized and criminalized, that only a small percentage of persons will identify themselves as incorrigibly heterosexual, although many others will engage in heterosexual acts on the down low. I believe any straight person who grew up in such a world to become governor of New Jersey would likely make the same inappropriate decision McGreevey did, appointing their secret heterosexual lover to a position of undeserved importance.
I believe that Martin Hyde and Trihs should get married. Really. They should. They’re both assholes and they’re both fucked in the head, and somehow this is a source of pride to them. I mean in Martin Hyde you have the raving Internet right-winger, while in Trihs you have the up-and-coming consiglieri to the Trenchcoat Mafia. Study this partnership, and you’ll win the Nobel Prize in medicine someday.
I know they’re both dudes, but I believe they should have lots and lots of asshole fucked-up kids, just so they can put them on Springer, and I can look at them on TV and forget about my problems for awhile.
I don’t care how they have the kid. Maybe they can advertise for some asshole welfare mother to be the recipient and go ahead and jerk off into a Jiff peanut butter jar (Make sure you clean the peanut butter out first, guys), so that asshole doctors can fertilize her egg in some sort of experimental procedure in articificial fucktardation. Just please, please, please, whatever you two do, don’t move to my state. In fact, maybe you’d be happier in North Korea, ya’ know?
Former Texas governor Ann Richards said it about George W. Bush during the election campaign in which she eventually lost to him. The rest, sadly, is history.
As a total hijacking aside, Ann Richards passed away just a month or two ago and is one of the truly unique characters in 20th Century American politics. The mere fact she, as a female Democrat, got elected governor of this backwards shitkicker state should tell you volumes.
Hey, watch that. 
Damn Dodger’s Fans.
fachverwirrt, funny list, but I do not agree with one point of course.
Jim {I believe Jeter should be the MVP}
I believe that anyone who likes black licorice is a certifiable asshole.
Which one?
Yeah, that sounds about right. If the Sox hadn’t tanked I’d lean toward Ortiz, but as it stands, I can’t really argue with that.
Interesting Sunspace. I’ve never thought, or heard, of this before. What’s your reasoning behind this? And you know the rest of the [paraphrased] drill; I like your views and want to subscribe to your newsletter.
Also to add another couple of my own…
*I believe that suicide should be a viable option for death and not stigmatized. Just because the choice is out there, doesn’t mean an increase in usage nor seen as an encouragement to act.
*(a) I believe that others who insist of knowing, and hence approving, of one’s motivations in determining anything other than a criminal infraction of legalities is heinous. Why should someone else be allowed to make the call on whether or not your reason for wanting to pass on the damn escalator is good enough? Or this person is acceptable for abortion because of rape but not this woman whose contraception failed? Ok, maybe then that’s alright. Well, than what’s the decision over here on another who has a history of mental illness in her family that could be passed on to her unborn child? Ad infinitum. Ascribing what they’re thinking/doing is impossible. Either innocent until proven guilty is a true concept or all of it is utter tripe.
*(b) The flip side of that coin is; don’t pay lip service to rehabilitation if it’s not meant. If the court system declares a debt to society paid, then it should be and I would be, I hope, one of the first to take that at face value and have a rapist live as my neighbor. In my humble opinion, they’ve got to reside somewhere and if the popular thinking is they’ll just re-offend, then keep their asses in prison. If not, walk the talk. Otherwise, they truly will never overcome because of a variety of reasons, not the least of which is ‘the village’ banding together to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
*I believe the ‘ignore’ function serves a useful purpose.
*I believe words coming into common parlance within widespread bounds, should constitute approval. So what if 100 years ago it wasn’t acknowledged by the OED? Just because its etymology is more recent, doesn’t make it any less respectable and dammit, sometimes alright IS morest correct! 
*This, I doubt, is exactly controversial on the board, but thread shitting is just plain goofy. If you only post to say you disagree, at least have the balls to follow up with why. Not able to do that? Start your own then. Really, there is room for more than one opinion on Steve Irwin. Don’t be an ass amongst those wishing to memorialize and state your gripe elsewhere. Those that are honestly that bold should aim, for instance, at real-life funerals. I hear Phred is always on the lookout for new members.
*I believe reality is more important than hypotheticals, hence my views on abortion/adoption. The former impacts the actual life of the humans that are here and will be once born versus the idea/hope for their best-case future and implementation (embryo). In the latter, it is not the end-all, be-all. Some people hate being adopted and have huge problems with it. All adoptive parents aren’t the ideal and are, in fact, just as abusive as those that are biological. So suggesting that’s without fail the best alternative to an abortion is very short-sighted and not taking common sense facts into consideration. It maybe the majority conclusion but is in no fashion the ONLY way to go.
*I believe Halloween should be on par with all major holidays. Starting now.
Bowed legs? On tweety? I think not. Also his tummy isn’t chubby. His torso slopes smoothly out and back towards his tail, in a way that baby’s definitely does not.
Lemur866, I’ve smelled baby poop, and am convinced that the decision to believe that these things do not stink to high heaven is a retroactive result of pleasant association with a child you are convinced is cute (as it drools all over itself). (I’ve never even heard of a “baby-head” smell, and, to relate to the topic of the thread, don’t believe in it. )
I will concede that babies are not entirely without cute properties. Not only do they have a largish head and slightly largish eyes (which can look either cute or freakish, depending), they’re also sort of smallish and lack pointy edges for the most part. But come on, they’re fleshy, lumpy, bald and distorted, in ways that all of your other example are not. Babies deviate widely from the general standards of cuteness, and while they may contribute in general to the notion, they are far from defining or even significantly controlling the standard.
But believe what you will; if everyone agreed with me, it wouldn’t be “controversial”, would it?