My statistics teacher (who is an amazing teacher by the way ) gave us a list of statistics jokes to enjoy over spring break. I actually found some of them to be quite funny. Here’s my favorite from the list. Feel free to add any good ones you know of.
A famous statistician would never travel by airplane because he had studied air travel and estimated the probability of there being a bomb on any given flight was 1 in a million. He was not prepared to accept these odds.
One day a colleague met him at a conference far from home. “How did you get here, by train?”
“No, I flew.”
“What about the possibility of a bomb?”
"Well, I began thinking that if the odds of one bomb are 1 in a million, then the odds of TWO bombs are (1/1,000,000) x (1/1,000,000). This is a very, very small probability, which I can accept.
The average number of legs and arms would be 4 total, except for amputees and those born with less than that number. Therefore, if you actually added up all the arms and legs in Europe and divided by the population, you would end up with a number slightly less than 4. Thus, most people have more than average (most people having 4, the average being slightly less than 4).
The “average American” thing is because there are slightly more females than males in the US (I guess) and females don’t have the named appendage. I’ve also heard it (I think from George Carlin) as “On average, everyone has one testicle and one breast,” or something like that.
Most Europeans have two arms and two legs, but the average would be slightly less than that, since there are a certain number of folks withou the full complement.
There are slightly more women than men in the US population, so the average number of penises for a person is less than 1/2.
My dad (an accountant) used to joke that Major League Baseball teams weren’t all that great because if you added up all their wins and losses, they were only playing .500 ball.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That has to be determined with a non-parametric procedure because statisticians are not normal!
A professor from Vanderbilt wrote a really witty statistics textbook. My husband read aloud from it sometimes. I will see if I can find the name of the author.
(The chances are 50-50. Either I will or I won’t.)
Nice one. I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m explaining to cow-orkers why correlation is not the same as causation. (And I find myself having to do this all the time…to engineers. :rolleyes: )
) gave us a list of statistics jokes to enjoy over spring break. I actually found some of them to be quite funny. Here’s my favorite from the list. Feel free to add any good ones you know of.