Color me confused… 
Yesterday, gutpile was the word and/or phrase that all the cool Dopers were saying. It’s been replace with “Pudding doesn’t need an excuse.”
WELL…the pudding…GAWD DAMMNIT… it wasnt that good.
Pumpkin pie is in season - which makes me 99% excited - but i stupidly wondered into Starbucks, and in a wild pique of rage ordered my pudding from them. This was a mistake. -Starbucks pudding is 99% nonsense. Anyway…I had two puddings and returned home and then didnt have sex.
All is fine now.
Thanks for the responses. x
Oh…and the sex. I feel bad for not adding some kind of smut - as 33% of my title implies something of the kind. -I’m sorry.
…I’m 28 and have never come through penetrative sex. I’ve tried everything! -From porn, to having sex upside down, to including pudding - but I still don’t come. I used to be totally insatiable, but now I usually always turn to pudding for my kicks.
I love my BF, btw.
How much time has been spent on your prediction interval?
Are you in the proper mood? Is your concentration parameter within an acceptable distribution?
Have you tried various role plays? Prisoner’s dilemma? The Centipede Game? Reciprocal altruism?
And be careful having sex upside down. You run a real Kurtosis risk.
Not that uncommon, really. Most women do not come from coitus (there is probably a statistic about this, and it is almost certainly misleading). You have to be relaxed and in the right headspace, he cannot just make you come without a lot of help from you. If you can make it happen, though, you may find it to be really good. You probably just need a different partner.
The average person has approximately one testicle and one tit. Still trying to figure out how to work pudding into that meaningless statistic about sexual characteristics.
Not to mention increased skewness!
Somehow we can combine these two…
Bait and Switch! There’s no sex in the OP.
Also, the only thing that stuck with me through the haze of drugs and alcohol during four years of college: “You can drown in a stream of averages only a few inches deep if the next step you take lands you in over your head.”
That was the first line in my statistics textbook. I thought it was clever.
Pudding doesn’t need a gutpile.
I kind of liked my Statistics professor “If your head is in the oven, and your ass is in the freezer, on average, you’re comfortable.”
If your ass is in the freezer you’re 47% more likely to have sex with pudding pop.
I should have swallowed before I read this post.
Don’t complain about the temperature being 2 degrees. That’s twice as hot as one degree!
Moob-flavored pudding…duh.
Yeah, umm … swallowed what?