My Very First Pit Thread
by ntucker, age <mumble, mumble>
Once upon a time there was a thread about Pool. It was in the General Questions forum, and spurred a fairly detailed discussion of variations on pool rules (official BCA rules versus “bar rules” being the thrust of the discussion after a bit). Dopers across the land were happily throwing in their two cents about their experiences with bar rules, and how and why they differ from BCA.
CurtC, a BCA rules type of guy, expressed some surprise that lots of bar rules type of folk aren’t even familiar with the BCA rules he prefers. To further the discussion, he decided to sum up the main differences (from memory and stated as such, mind you) between bar rules and BCA rules. One of his points was that in BCA pool, there’s no worrying about what’s the “honorable” shot to take, which is nice because in bar rules, varying definitions of what shots are “honorable” can cause disagreements. His post was very helpful and, as far as your humble narrator could see, about as correct as could be expected given the ever-changing nature of bar rules.
Little did he realize that Large Marge is a bar rules player and finds BCA players to be “sissies.” Realizing that this mild insult might be written off as good-natured ribbing, she decided that she needed more animosity if she was going to successfully start a fight. “You official rules players think you’re soooooo high and mighty,” she seemed to shout, betraying her deep-seated insecurities and general shit-headed nature, “why do you have to look down on us bar rules folks?”, ignoring the fact that nobody had done anything of the sort. Then, in order to cement her nomination for Asshole of the Thread, she decided to “correct” CurtC’s list in a rather rude fashion, ignoring the fact that she simply read it wrong, and he was, in fact, not misrepresenting her beloved bar rules. She followed it up with an implication that anyone who doesn’t want to worry about nit-picking what’s “honorable” during a game must be against the idea of playing honorably, in effect, accusing CurtC of playing dishonorably.
After some chiding by your humble narrator for having falsely maligned CurtC and generally come across as an argumentative wanker, Marge successfully turned the thread into a Marge-versus-the-Reasonable affair where she eventually lost all hope of productive discourse by, upon having seen CurtC use the term “we” in reference to himself and Sam Stone (because they shared the same point of view on an issue), responding with the brilliant, “We? Are you afraid to confront me by yourself?” It was at this point that the participants in the thread knew they were dealing with a complete fucking idiot. But make no mistake: she is a macho idiot. She’s tough, she’s certain she’s played waaaaaay more bar rules pool than me (based on what, we’ll never know), and oh yeah, she has some pretty unbelievable claims about how good she is at pool (that behind-the-headstring shot on an 8-ball in the kitchen is easy? You’re talking out of your ass)
Then, after being told by Sam Stone that calling me a “pompous ass” was uncalled for, Marge finally reveals her beef with me: I have apparently been warring with her in other threads. Ignoring the fact that that’s a really stupid excuse to go on the offense in General Fucking Questions, it’s not even remotely true. So far as I can find, I have never responded to her in any other thread, and I’ve only even participated in one thread in common with her, the extent of which was a throwaway joke post that did not disagree with her in any way.
And nobody wished death upon anyone, and they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
The moral of this story is: Fuck you, Large Marge
