I’ve been taking this cardio bootcamp class at my gym. This is a really demanding class that involves a lot of plyometrics, jumping jacks, interval training, and other intense exercises. It’s designed to leave you gasping for breath.
I love the class, but some of the bozos in the group are incredibly annoying. There’s this group of guys who keep barking and howling throughout the class, sometimes even as the instructor is talking. Their cries of “Woof! Woof! Woof!” are just bloody irritating. The worst offender has even taken to yelling out “I love this!” at random moments during the class.
The worst part is that they’re not even doing the exercises right! During the marching and running drills, their feet barely leave the ground. When punching, there’s virtually no twisting in their torsos and their arms don’t go anywhere near full extension. And when squatting, their rear ends don’t go down more than a few inches.
I’m sure that some people don’t mind. For me though, it’s incredibly annoying.
Oh, and that one guy that I mentioned – the worst offender in the group? He keeps turning around or walking around to other parts of the room so that he can chat with some of the ladies. I’ve been told that he’s a married man, and I know that this might be perfectly innocent on his part. Somehow though, I doubt it – not if he’s paying attention to the ladies instead of the exercises.
Of course, our gym management isn’t going to do anything about this. After all, while they’re a needless distraction, I can’t quite say that they’re disrupting the class. Still, I wish that the instructor would say something like “Some of you guys are all talk! Pour that energy into your feet, not your mouths!”
If I were running the thing you can bet your ass I’d say something like, “If you’ve got breath enough to bark, you’re not doing it hard enough. Put more effort into it, or get out.”
Then again, I’m kind of an asshole to people who bother others, and those who don’t put full effort into an activity.
This is a pet peeve of mine, too, excessive grunting in classes or even the weight room. Though if people were actually barking I think I would spend a bit of time glaring, making eye contact and ‘What the fuck?’ faces with classmates and teachers, then get my things and walk out half way through. But I’m like that.
Seriously though, I don’t mind it when people struggle through the class but are clearly concentrating and putting in a lot of effort. In fact, I’ve often offered them words or gestures of encouragement. Everyone has to start somewhere, after all. I also don’t mind the occasional whoop of excitement or aggression.
When people are repeatedly barking and howling in the class though, there’s simply no reason for that except to say, “Hey everyone, look at me! I am so good! I am the MAN!!!” That’s annoying enough when someone is fit and performing well, but when someone is doing the moves in a namby-pamby sort of way and making conversation with the ladies, it’s just pathetic.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ve got people who keep attending the class and cannot do the moves at all. Now I don’t want to be cruel, especially since some people are in really bad shape and need to catch up. I also know that some people have non-obvious disabilities. However – and again, I want to be careful in saying this – it seems to me that if you can barely lift your feet above the ground, you should probably try some walking or light jogging first before attending a vigorous kickboxing class. I’m not saying this to mock people who do struggle; rather, the reality is that people won’t get much benefit from the class if the moves are far beyond what they can do. Better to start off slow, then.
Also, if you have a hard time following the class instructions – if you keep stepping to the left while everyone else is jumping to the right, for example – you might want to practice at home before joining a group class. I know that sounds mean, but this is ultimately a safety issue. That, and the fact that you’ll probably get more benefits from self-directed exercise anyway, since it lets you focus on the areas in which you have difficulty.
I hope that none of that sounds cruel. Believe me, there was a time when I was in bad shape and horribly uncoordinated as well. I got better with time though, and so can most people.