I work the front desk at my office and all calls come through my phone. The wife of one of our architects call at least 10 times each and every day. I don’t understand how someone can imagine that a working person has that much free time on their hands. Literally 10 times per day.
Whew! Felt pretty good to get that out.
When he’s working, husband only calls me when he a) arrives home or b) is picking me up and is down the street.
When he’s not working, husband calls to tell me a) what new breaking news is on TV, b) what new cute thing the dog has done, c) what do I feel like for dinner, d) what might be interesting on TV tonight, e) etc. etc. etc.
Things are obviously better when he’s working. I have had to tell him I can’t talk - and I’ve let it go to voice mail too. Unfortunately, when I let it go to voice mail, he calls my cell phone. :rolleyes:
leaffan - good luck.
I spend plenty of time on the net while at work because I am often sitting around while my queries run, and sometimes I don’t have another one to be working on, but the number of phone calls some people get amazes me. I would, in all honesty, receive about a dozen private calls a year at work. One of my coworkers has a dozen calls a day to and from her family members alone.
When I was married with kids a phone call from my wife meant that I was going home, right now. My mother rang me at work a few weeks ago while I was at lunch and I assumed that either my father or one of my brothers was dead as she had never rung me at work in my life. She was ringing to arrange the old man’s birthday party and could only do it during the day while he was out without him overhearing.
I’ve seen a very similar situation resolved like this.
Next time she phones get the guy with the most officious voice in the cubicle farm to pick it up and when she asks for you, he harshly responds, " We just fired him for getting too many personal calls at work!" Then hang up the phone. If she calls back don’t answer it.
He claims he was away from his desk and knew nothing about this call, but there have been complaints, now that I think of it…like that.
It worked perfectly when I witnessed it.
Good luck to you!
jali, you have my sympathy. I’ve worked places where people got tons of calls from family members and friends each day, each one of them going through the receptionist. It’s bad enough when family members bug you at work, but to tie up the receptionist with your personal calls a dozen times a day for each employee doing this? Not cool at all.
Oh yeah, leaffan, you have my sympathy, too. Since your wife already knows how much this bugs you and isn’t respecting your feelings, I think you have the green light relationship-wise to go ahead with your plan. You are AT WORK - she may indeed be jeopardizing your employment with excessive personal calls.
I might have missed this somewhere, but does the OP have Internet at home? Would not e-mail/ IM solve this problem?
I sympathize with you, as I can see how it might be embarrassing to always have those calls in what amounts to a public setting, but given the info we have (about her being at home with young kids) I can see where she’d be craving adult conversation during the day. If you look at it from that POV, maybe you’ll be on your way to a solution that works for both of you instead of being mad at her for not doing what you want her to do.
And, while I can go a full day without hearing from my wife, it’s usually the highlight of the day to hear from her- either through e-mail or 2-3 quick calls when one of us can spare a minute. It’s sort of like passing love notes in class. 
But that’s just us. One of the great pleasures of my life is experiencing the world through my wife’s eyes…the reason I married her is because she’s the one person I never get tired of.
But does that have to mean calling the working spouse two or three times a day while they’re at work?
There’s gotta be a way for her to get some adult conversation without placing calls to her husband at work.
I still just don’t get the need that some people, even not with the whole maternity leave situation have for needing to be in constant contact with their SO. Is it really that much to go through the work day and the commute without contacting the SO? I’d be pissed if an SO was calling me every day at work.
Call for emergencies and that’s it, because I don’t really see 9 hours (work day + commuting time for me) as that long to go without talking to someone.
I’m sure there is. I simply contend that her husband has some responsibility to help her find that outlet rather than snubbing her when she reaches out to him. I’m sure the earlier cracks about her getting a boyfriend were in jest, but the groundwork is there.
I’m not going to claim that I have a need to be connected to my wife all the time, but it does make me happier. Apparently, she feels the same. So, as it doesn’t hurt anything, I’ll take a call from her any time of the day. She knows when I can’t talk, and that I’ll call her right back because…get this…I really enjoy talking to her!
Like I said, I’m sympathetic to his plight, because I know how ‘cubicle culture’ can be… I just think there’s a better way to handle the issue that doesn’t come across as code for ‘I don’t love you. Go away.’
-stonebow, who is totally psyched to go home and have lunch with his wife, as she is out of school for the summer
That’s precisely it, for me.
At the same time, I think either party in a relationship should have the ability to set aside ‘me time’ when they can take a break from the other person. There are a lot of people who, no matter how much they love another person, still need a break from them. Living with another person is pretty much a situation where I see them so much that the work time is ‘me time.’ Not that I don’t love 'em, but I also need some time to be separate and be out of contact.
I can’t imagine having anyone that I would really wanna be in contact with 24x7 and not have a day go by when I didn’t hear from them for a whole 8 hours.
If a 3 calls a day person is involved with an alone for 8 hours person, something has to be worked out or they’re both going to go nuts.
I agree. It’s unreasonable to call someone who doesn’t want to be called and who has said he doesn’t want to be called. It shows a lack of respect for the other person’s wishes.
Also, seconded. I just disagree that what the OP is proposing actually qualifies as ‘working it out.’ If he believes that he can just tell his wife that she can’t call (but if she does, she’s going straight to voicemail) without some sort of negative response, I submit that he doesn’t know women very well.