stop telemarketers

There is only one sure way to stop telemarketers. NEVER ACCEPT UNSOLICITED OFFERS! Sorry, about the yelling, but the only reason these guys are still in business is because somebody out there is accepting these offers. or else it wouldn’t be profitable. same with email offers.

you can take your name off as many list as you want by writing all day and nite to compnaies, but they’ll just make a new list.

i hear everyone complain about them everyday, so i would like a vow from everyone that if they want to stop telemarkers, you will not accept unsolited offers.

I never accept those damn offers.

I heard the latest technique these bottom feeders use is to have an automated system that hangs up if it hears what it percieves to be a live voice.

The concept is that it will leave a message on your answering machine. :frowning:

< gathering a mob; ordering pitchforks and torches >

Telemarketers are just as bad as those lovely religious people who come knocking on your door… especially the ones that bring their kids with them so you cant slam the door on their faces. My boss had a great technique. When they came early one saturday morning, he invited them in to discuss HIS religion… they skidaddled their butts pretty quickly.

For the phone people… when they call and ask for me i tell them she died…

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

We covered this before extensively. But soon, you can try

Okay everyone. Be nice.

It’s a job. It’s a job that any person with little to no education, experience or intelligence can get.

Yep, you guessed it. I used to be a telemarketer. Only for a month, back in 1994.

The job gave me two things:

  1. Telephone etiquette, which has come in handy in every job I’ve had since.
  2. The ability to hang up on telemarketers with no guilt. I immediately say, “Thanks for calling, I’m not interested, take me off your list.” ::click::

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous

My personal favorites are the ones that call during dinner. Just so we’re on equal ground, I ask for the name and home phone number of the telemarketer, and promise to call just as soon as I find a pressing need for whatever they’re selling.

My second favorite is the late night call. Anytime after about 10:00 PM, I just pick up the phone and ask, “What the F*** do you want?” That helps clarify the purpose of the call. If I’m in a really good mood, though, I just pick up the phone and wait for them to say something, operating on the idea that since they initiated the call, they ought to have something to say, right?

Before I moved, I used to have an answering machine message which worked quite well:

“Hello. You are talking to a machine. The people who own me do not have any need for siding, roofing, lawn care, encyclopedias, windows, banking services, magazines, or another credit card, and they are perfectly satisfied with their present long distance service. Their carpets are already clean, they give to charity through their offices, and they do not need to have their pictures taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number, and they’ll get back to you.”

I was never bothered by solicitors. If they called while I was home, I just hung up the instant I realized who they were. I figure, hey, you don’t read junk mail before you throw it away, right? You just rip it in half and pitch it. So why waste time listening to their spiel before hanging up? It’s not like I asked them to call me.

Another one that works quite well is:

“You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. As you speak, your voice patterns are being digitally encoded and stored in our data banks for later retrieval. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However, one of our staff of professional extortionists will be contacting you in the near future to explain the benefits of our service, and to discuss your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. We’ll be in touch.”

You’ll never get a message. Guarantee it.

Another fun way to mess with them is to answer the phone, “CIA, Langley.” And then when they ask, “Who?”, you bark, “Who is this? This is a secure line! How did you get this number??? WILSON, START A TRACE!!!” You’ve never heard people hang up so fast in your life.

these are all probably old, but my favorites are…

carpet cleaners>>> can you get blood out? does it matter if it’s chicken or human?

aluminum siding>>>> if you live in an apartment, go ahead and schedule them out. come on, it’s funny.

anyone else>>> so what do you look like?

Actually, Picknan’s Model, while clever, they didn’t stop you from getting messages. The fact that leaving a sales-pitch on a machine in general never works and is frowned upon by telemarketing companies as a whole. As a former telemarketer, I know this.

Your machine could say, “Hi, I’m totally gullible and will respond to every sales pitch message with an immediatre call back and an order of ten of everything you have,” you’d still get no messages.

In the last telemarketing bashing thread, I said the following, and I feel the need to repeat it even though it has yet to fully heat up here yet, because I know it will:

One day I hope that the worst inconvenience in my life is an unsolicited phone call, and when that day comes, I surely will plan to be rude and devise odd ways of wasting both the telemarketers time and my own.

Yer pal,

Satan the telemarketer? Why am I not surprised? :slight_smile:

J’ai assez vécu pour voir que différence engendre haine.
Henri B. Stendhal

Satan- AMEN! (I hope that was an appropriate comment to the Dark One)

It’s a living- these people aren’t out to get you. When you pick up and they say “Hello, am I speaking to Mrs. X?” Just say, “Thanks for calling, but I’m not interested” and hang up. Why get your undies in a bunch? Life is too short.
Satan, now you’ll really love me…I sometimes even tell them to “have a good day” and say goodbye instead of hanging up. I’m trying to make up for lots of bad Karma… :slight_smile:

A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.

I used to be a telemarketer. It was a part time job I had after my regular job.

I know telemarketers can be a pain, people, but before you blast one of these people, try and keep something in mind. These are people who may be working their third part job in an order to put food on the table (that was my situation) and keep a roof over their children’s heads.

I can remember a few times when after a 9 hour day at my full time job, I would sit until 10:00 or 11:00 pm in a little booth with a list of phone numbers, a phone, and endure four hours of abuse.

For a woman who is on their own after surviving an abusive relationship, makes very little money, and is now a single mother with no family around, it fu**ing sucks to have to be verbally abused at your JOB for four hours and then drive home in tears because some insensitive nitwit called you names and didn’t have the decency to say “I’m not interested. Goodbye.”

I’m sorry for ranting - but meanness sucks.

yeah, rats are just doing thier thing, too. but i don’t want them in my house.

working for the phone company, i spend half my day explaining to people why they can’t block telemarketers.
one case: an old lady was being harassed by a telemarketer that would call her on her own time and cuss her because she didn’t buy the product.

two: i have been called an asshole for jsut saying no thanks, not interested.

three; once a fairly large man came to my door. when i told him i wasn’t interested, he stuck his foot in the door, and said, ‘i know you’re not, but it really help me out.’

i’m not saying the people are bad, it’s the idea that’s bad. and the stress and humiliation they feel at work comes out in thier defense mechanisms.

I’m a fairly nice guy, and I always try to be polite. When they call, I tell them no thanks, then hang up before they can say “But do know about all the advantages of the Anal Intruder 3000”.

The only time I ever come close to being rude are those days when I get seven or eight calls in the span of four hours.

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

From Cool Hand Luke

Boss: Sorry, Luke. I’m just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that.
Lucas (Luke) Jackson: Nah – calling it your job don’t make it right, Boss.

Back off, man. I’m a scientist.

Take the person you dislike the most in the world. Look up their telephone number.

Then, when a telemarketer calls, interrupt his/her spiel with, “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in {your product/service}. However, I happen to know that {Harry J. Obnoxious} at {212-555-1212} has been looking for just what you’re offering.”

You’ll get thanked by the telemarketer, and kill two birds with one stone. :slight_smile:

I just say my mom and dad aren’t home right now. Works great!..the benefit of having a childlike voice and name that can’t be pronounced.

metro… if you add “and what are you wearing?” they exit that much faster…

pickman’s… love the CPX-2000 voice message. Hope you don’t mind my using it LOL

I always found the best way to get rid of a telemarketer is to say “I’m sorry, I’m not interested in your product, but thank you for your call.” (You can skip the thank you part if you want.) Then hang up immediately. It takes less than 5 seconds of my time.

Also, I don’t feel like I need to answer the phone everytime it rings. If I’m watching a movie on television or eating dinner, I just don’t pick it up. That’s what the answering machine is for. People can always leave a message, and if I think it’s worhtwhile, I’ll pick up the phone when I hear who it is.

J’ai assez vécu pour voir que différence engendre haine.
Henri B. Stendhal

Arnold! My soul mate! Whenever I tell people that I don’t always answer the phone because, well, sometimes I don’t feel like it, they look at me like I’m insane. At last, my brother, we meet!
As to telemarketers, I always give them the “No thanks, not interested” and hang up. I used to be even more polite, but they just keep talking no matter how many times you say “no”, so now it’s “no” and then :::click::: for me.
I’ve heard many other people now use this line so maybe you’ve all heard it, but when I was a kid and people selling subscriptions to newspapers or magazines or book of the month would call, my mother would tell them in a pitiful voice that she couldn’t read. They usually went silent for a minute, and then told her how sorry they were.

Don’t get me wrong–I love life. I’m just finding it harder and harder to keep myself amused.

Personally, I’d have to cast my lot in with the Prince of Darkness on this one - there is absolutely nothing in my day so precious that its interruption would justify hostility or rudeness to a perfect stranger.

If I’m exceptionally busy, I’ll let the machine take the call and ignore it altogether, or reply at my leisure. If I do happen to pick it up, it doesn’t cost me any greater effort to demonstrate a certain amount of courtesy, whether or not I’m the least bit interested in what they have to say. Generally, I’ll listen long enough to let them know I’m aware of what they’re offering, then politely interject, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think I can save us both a bit of time, here…” and (depending on how pressed for time I am, and what amount of “interest” I detect on the part of the telemarketer) may even go so far as to explain why, for example, “I’ve a very close friend who happens to run a photography studio - if I’m in the need of pictures, I generally go to her. If you’d like to take me off your list, it might save you some time in the future…”

I know there is a certain attitude prevelant in our society today that rationalizes hostility as a justified return for the intrusion afforded by telemarketing industry - and I DO understand that it is something of an intrusion; but I can’t personally feel comfortable in responding to mere inconvenience in such a way. I don’t yell at the Girl Scouts who peddle their cookies at my doorstep, and I wouldn’t be rude or slam the door in the face of someone out soliciting subscriptions for the local newspaper. The mere fact that the inconvenience comes via telephone, and I can be (somewhat) sheltered from having to deal with a person face-to-face doesn’t do anything to alleviate my own conviction that, no matter what circumstances have lead them to this particular place in their lives, they are still just as human as I am. They share the same feelings and dreams and hopes and fears, and are every bit as entitled to respect.

Missy2U - I wonder, Miss, if you could satisfy a curiousity for me? How are telemarketers paid? Is it by the hour, or by the call? Or is it simply by straight commission?

Arnold Winkelried - Your signature line is fascinating, and I’m unfamiliar with its author. Not that it’s any of my business, but do you agree with its premise? Or was it just an interesting quote?


Life is a tapestry.
Each new day brings with it the opportunity to sew by
word and deed within the heart of someone around us.
Let us choose our colors with care.