Sometimes they’re jokes, but some people are completely clueless.
Like for the movie “The Unforgiven” (directed by John Huston, starring Burt Lancaster and Audrey Hepburn). The main premise of this film (not really a spoiler, but don’t read if you don’t want to know anything) is that Hepburn is an adopted sister. ADOPTED. So why is it so horrible for her “brother” (Lancaster) to be in love with her, and her to be in love with him?
But according to one reviewer, this was EWWWW gross, because brother and sister are in love with each other.
And then there was this murder mystery with Tommy Lee Jones, where one of the reviewers complained that “we never learned who murdered the guy or why.” You stupid moron, if you were awake you’d have KNOWN who did it. It wasn’t a big secret! smack! Pay attention!
Oh, and my favorite! A movie with a big “twist” mystery ending (I usually guess these things but I NEVER guessed this one) had it spoiled, with no warning, by one of the clueless reviewers. This person just blurted out who dunnit and why. How did this get past Amazon.com? I even went so far to write to Amazon, point to the review in question and tell them that they really needed to edit it, but last I checked, nothing had been done.
And then in the music area, the thing that pisses me off, as a big film music buff, is when people automatically assume that a soundtrack CD is going to have all the pop songs from the movie. No. They. Don’t. HAVE. To. NO.
A lot of these movies have film score composers (people like Jerry Goldsmith, James Horner, John Debney) who write very lovely film scores, and sometimes the CD features this instrumental music instead of the pop compilation music. Or sometimes it’ll have a pop song or two, but the majority will be the orchestral score.
This is one of the reasons why Amazon lists all tracks on most of these CDs and in many cases, offers RealAudio snippets of several pieces, so you cn hear what’s on the CD. So, to complain that you bought this CD and it didn’t have xxx pop song (when the information on Amazon’s page specifically doesn’t list that song) is assinine. To them slam the beautiful orchestral music of Goldsmith, Debney or Horner, not because their music is bad, but because it “doesn’t have a beat” or “is boring” is equally assinine. Don’t buy a film score CD if what you want is a compilation of pop songs. Don’t rate this fine CD with a low score just because you were too stupid or inattentive to actually know what you were buying. What a bunch of morons!
