Stop touching my belly.

The BBQ Pit
61

I can think of two perfectly acceptable responses to this unbelievable act. Well, perfectly acceptable to my admittedly twisted mind.

  1. Slap the person, smack across the face. You’ve just been accosted and taken by surprise. I can see a slap being a natural, provoked, response. It’ll sting, it’ll make a loud noise, and it’ll embarrass the person, but it won’t do them any permanent physical damage. Ain’t nobody gonna blame you.

  2. Break out your word processing and laser printer, and print out some slips of paper that say, “You have just committed the crime of assault. Had I been a police officer, you would have been arrested, taken to jail, and charged.” Keep one with you, and anytime someone does this to you, hand them the printed paper and glare at them.

62

I hate to tell you, Verminary, but the wanton touching by strangers isn’t going to end just because your child’s been born either. I’m constantly forced to fend off the digitary feints of those who would tousle my kid’s golden locks or pinch her pink cheeks in every venue from grocery stores to Home Depots. Certainly makes me miss those carefree days when strangers showed more restraint . . . kinda like with the conception . . . sure, the crowds were curious but at least they kept it constrained to numerous questions instead of unsolicited pokings, rubs and the like.

63

Regarding post #53 above: I’m still wondering, haven’t any of you ever skipped the coy rejoinders and hints and just told the jerks flat out to knock it off?

64

Ye gods, people are rude!

You could just carry around a taser or something, y’know?

Or, if it’s a woman (is it usually women? I assume so for some reason), when they start groping you, grab at their boobs.

Or, just smack them across the face with a convienantly-nearby book.

65

the fuck?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, as I’ve seen people’s rudeness firsthand when it comes to parents and children. Some friends I’ve recently met have a young adopted daughter from China - she’s about three, and the cutest little thing - an absolute angel. However, several times when I’ve been with them, I’ve seen people look from her to her parents and say “She’s not really yours, is she?” and “How’d you get her? I bet she cost a bundle!”.

And the worst that they told me about was when someone looked at her and said to her parents and big brother (who’s eight, and their biological child) - “What’s the matter? You couldn’t have another one of your own? Why’d you go halfway around the world to get one?”.

These were all total strangers. And it drives me batty. It’s like people’s brains don’t extend to their mouths (or hands, as the case may be).

E.

66

Both times I was pregnant I took to using my patented Glare of Death anytime I was out in public. Grocery store, mall, restaurants–wherever I went, I glowered at everyone. People steered right clear of me :slight_smile:

Gaaaaack, I hated being pregnant. But other posters are right, the belly-touching is only the beginning of the meddling. Now it’s "Oh, when is he going to give up that pacifier? Is she sleeping through the night yet? When are you going to start solids (she’s only 4 months old, ya numbskull) and my fave from my MIL: “All my kids were *allergic * to my breastmilk. Maybe that’s why BabyDax is so fussy/gassy/etc.” No, maybe it’s because you chain-smoked and babies don’t like nicotene…but that’s a whole other thread.