WTF? Don't touch my baby without asking!

The BBQ Pit
1

Yes, I know she’s fucking adorable. (Cite.) Yes, I know she’s the tiniest damn baby you’ve ever seen and wears a silly bonnet to keep the sun out of her eyes. (Cite.)

But that doesn’t mean I want your germy greasy hands all over my baby in the middle of the produce section!

Screamin’ Jesus, Lady! Not only do I not know you or your grimy little snot-nosed children, nor what illnesses you’ve been having around your house lately, but you’ve been handling produce with massive amounts of pesticides sprayed all over them, and your charming little Satan Spawn just wiped his snotty nose with his hand before you tell him to come over and “see” the little baby? And why in the name of all that’s putrid would you then tell him to hold her little bitty hand?

She’s a premie! I told you that already when you first asked me how old she is! I just said she weighed less than 2 pounds when she was born! That means she’s had a lot of health scares in her 5 months on this earth and I don’t need another visit to the ER if she gets a simple respiratory infection, thank you. She doesn’t need to be in a plastic bubble, but it’d be nice if I had some illusion of control over who gets to touch my kid! And while I’m wearing her in a sling, no less, which means you’re WAY invading my personal space to get to her.

Oh, and the the next four women, three teenaged girls and two snotty nosed school-aged kids (and a partridge in a pear tree!) who did the same exact thing? FUCK OFF! MY BABY! MINE, MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS!!!

(Seriously, is this some sort of African-American thing that it’s OK to do, because I’ve been taking her out for walks and shopping for a month now, and this has never happened until I went into Rogers Park. It was like she was Jesus walking through the leper colony.)

I love it when people ask about her. Everyone asks how old she is, because she seems too little to be out and about. Sometimes I feel like striking up a conversation and tell them she’s a premie. Sometimes, I just lie and say she’s a month old (usually if I’m in a hurry or if the asker creeps me out, honestly). I welcome your well-wishes, your prayers, your compliments on her cussed cuteness. But keep your bloody hands to yourself unless I ask you to hold her, please!

(I’m really no good at the sustianed vitrol needed for the pit, but damn that felt good to get it out!)

2

OMG, what??? Hey, I’ve gotta say that I’m with you. I mean, I knew that some people out there will do the most incredibly stupid things possible, but…

C’MON, GET A CLUE YOU CLUELESS PEOPLE!!

(Okay, I’m out of vitriol now too.)

3

Ackk, splutter - youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu stinker!!

I guess I never had any vitriol to begin with…

:frowning:

4

Maybe a dingo ate your baby.

5

Yeah, but at least you people can spell it right! :stuck_out_tongue:

6

I guess it doesn’t bother me. But I live somewhere where people reeeeeally love babies, to the point where it is not uncommon, if you bring a baby to a restaurant, that people will come up and ask you if they can hold/carry around your baby. So maybe I’m just used to it by now.

7

Ask. Ask is good. Ask is all I ask, really…

8

Ah. Now I see.

9

I feel intrusive just asking about a baby’s name and age (so I usually just smile at them and pull funny faces, hoping that their parent doesn’t think I’m a lunatic). I can’t imagine what those people were thinking!

Whynot, she is adorable, and you are in no way over-reacting.

10

Handling other people’s babies is a cultural thing. When I’m at a function where most of the people are of Indian descent, it is not uncommon for people that I’ve never even met before to grab my 4-month old and carry her around. The same thing happens to my 19-month old son, although he’s vocal about who he doesn’y want picking him up. At times my wife and I are shocked at how intrusive people can be. At a wedding about a month ago, my daughter was sleeping in her stroller. A lady basically woke her up, picked her up and started carrying her around. I’m pretty laid back but my wife was pissed. But the woman had good intentions and I couldn’t really get mad at her. You have to understand people’s cultural backgrounds and their intentions.

11

But those people should, in turn be aware of YOUR cultural backgrounds.
It’s YOUR baby, so you get to make the rules.

12

I’m afraid I’m guilty of this; a little bit anyway. I’m a sucker for stroking little bare baby feet if I see them wiggling in the grocery store. That’s all, though, I never touch their faces or hands!

Sorry, WhyNot. :o

13

Actually… you may have nailed it. There’s a looooooot of handing off and unquestioned touching and holding of babies among really young African-American mothers. You must giving off some serious “honorary black woman” vibe.

14

I was wondering about that. Like I said, this has never happened before, and this was the first time I was in a minority-is-the-majority neighborhood with her. And all the touchers were black, except for one Asian woman.

That would make me understand it more, but still not be happy about it. And, like **Irishgirl **says, I think *my *cultural rules should supercede, whatwithit being my DNA and all! Perhaps not if I’m at an Indian wedding where I have chosen, for the moment, to accept Indian cultural standards, but at the grocery store? Fah.

Yay, I think? :stuck_out_tongue: Man, I moved here to be more multi-cultural, I guess I asked for it. But don’t they see that there’s very real illness danger to this sort of thing? Even if you’re not sick, you have germs on you that she doesn’t. Especially as premies have such fragile immune systems. Huh. Maybe she does need a bubble.

15

Ouch. Sympathy.
And hey, that’s some pretty good vitriol you have there. Don’t downplay yourself. :slight_smile:

16

EGAD! I am so tired of people being touchy for no reason! If anyone tries to touch my future baby, they’ll lose a hand.

17

You’re preaching to the choir talking to me – until recently I was a kindergarten teacher for five years – but IMHYUCO if the average young black women allows herself to have unprotected sex resulting in an unplanned pregnancy, she’s not terribly concerned with sperm or germs.

18

I’m actually glad you started this thread – I never really considered before if the feet I was tickling belonged to an easily-infected premie. I don’t think I’ll be doing that anymore. Not that I should have without permission in the first place.

[guilty]
Now I’m going to sit and wonder how many premature infants I infected with something or other just because the little piggies were so cute.
[/guilty]

19

Ask? ASK?-----Permission Effing Denied!!! Security Breach in Vector 6! MayfuckingDay!!!
Whynot–I would tell these clueless, inconsiderate moronic people to keep their filthy bacteria and virus loaded vectors of infection(hands) away from Baby. If they invaded your space I would unhesistatingly stop them with a raised hand, saying(in the Voice of Doom): I understand you have no self control and think that Baby Love is universal, but this is not just any Baby. This is MY Baby and noone gets to Baby except through me.

Then I would proceed to ASK them: when was the last time you used the toilet? Did you wash your hands? When, pray,* was* the last time you washed your hands? Have you blown your nose recently? How about a cough? You sound a lil raspy to me. Are you of sound moral character? (oops, too far)

Is that bad breath or do you have some lingering upper respiratory infection that will over challenge Baby’s immune system and while you may have gotten YOUR fix of Baby Love and go home high, Baby goes home sick and gets a free visit to ER?

That’s alot to say in the produce section. So I suggest that you cultivate a quick set of reflexes, some type of short statement and a whole pack of patience. Also, wet wipes are good (not so much for Baby’s skin, but they do work)-carry them to wipe Baby down after another “session”.

I most definetly feel your pain. I had a nurse (a nurse!) take offense once when she came over to see my newborn. She wanted to hold Baby-and I asked her to wash her hands first. She looked at me (she had recently used the bathroom) and said, “all urine is sterile.”
Ewwww and blech. I didn’t know she hadn’t washed her hands after peeing in my bathroom! Gack.

PS-Miss Manners (IIRC) suggested for times like the grocery store to say to the pontential offenders that Baby has had a nasty bug and you wouldn’t want them to get infected. Baby (and you) will then get treated like Plague victims, but you’ll shop in peace!

20

I want to be upset, but your baby is sooo cute. Yes she is. Its’ impossible to be mad around a precious little thing like that. I might as well kick a puppy.