Don't touch my baby!

The BBQ Pit
1

I have a two month old daughter. While at the mall today with her, my husband, and 11 year old daughter she decides she is hungry and wants her diaper changed. While my husband heats up her bottle I take her into the womens restroom to change her. I finish changing her and walk over to wash my hands while my 11 year old stands right beside her stroller. I was no more than 5-10 feet away. I go to dry my hands off and they only have those stupid hand dryers so I walk into one of the stalls and grab some toilet paper. I turn around to walk back and there is some lady with both of my baby’s hands in her hands and she is right in her face talking to her!

*::getting on my soapbox:: *
What the hell are you thinking lady? This isn’t your baby so back the hell off! You do not touch a baby’s hands! Babies put their hands in their mouths. God knows what kind of germs are on your hands. You could have been digging in your ass for all I know or picking your nose for that matter. It’s unsanitary, and rude to even think about touching someones baby much less a strangers baby without at least asking.
::stepping down from my soapbox::

I walked over to the lady and said “excuse me, excuse me” but she ignored me and walked into a stall. I waited for her to walk out of the stall and said to her again “excuse me” “excuse me”. She still would not acknowledge me. Finally I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around. I proceeded to inform her of all the reasons stated above that what she did was extremely wrong. Basically I was on a rampage. I probably wouldn’t have gotten so upset if she wouldn’t have ignored me the first time I tried to tell her. She never said a word to me and just stood there with a shocked look on her face. Hopefully I made my point and she will not be touching strangers baby’s hands.

2

Pretty lame rant, worthy of far more.

Aside from the hygeine risks, in this day and age where we have 10 year old children killing toddlers for kicks and god knows what sort of depraved scum walking around no-one, and I mean no-one, should be talking to, let alone touching, someone else’s child without express permission.

It’s sad and it unfair and all the usual stuff, but it’s the way things are. All this sort of thing does is remind parents how bloody helpless they are, and that’s extra stress they don’t need.

I’m being generous and assuming the inconsiderate harridan was ignoring you because she had a hearing difficulty, but being disabled doesn’t excuse being an insensitive prick.

Highly pit-worthy Bubblegirl, but you really need to work on your agression (you just haven’t got any). Jeez I’ve seen people getmore upset about room mates borrowing their clothes, this is your child.

Get mad (or better yet, get even) :wink:

3

That’s why, when my kids were teeny babies, I always carried them either in the sling or my arms. MOST people will think twice about reaching into a sling to see the baby - but some don’t.

I found a nice loud “HEY! What do you think you’re doing!” worked for me - but then I can get pretty loud when anyone looks like they’re thinking of messing with my kids.

4

Since when is expressing sincere affection for another human being “Messing with”? In this age of disintegrating communities and increasing isolation, I think it’s great that people are friendly, loving and warm enough to want to cuddle a baby. If people wanted to snuggle with my son, I’d gladly share him with them for a few seconds. Babies are wonderful and physical contact is good.
You people sound like extreme misanthropes. I’d hate to begin my child’s life by placing an aura of suspicion and paranoia around him.

5

This is agreeable. Lots of people love babies, and it’s really not so bad if someone may want to hold yours. But here’s the thing; They gotta ask first. Someone reaches out for my kid out of nowhere, they’re liable to lose a hand. Unexpected movements towards helpless members of my family are NOT appreciated. Of course, having asked, accepting a polite ‘no’ would be in good order as well.

I don’t have a kid, incidentally. But I’m this protective of some inanimate objects I own, for land’s sake. My KID? Don’t even try it.

6

Wait, so no one should be allowed to talk to children without express permission from their parents? Please. We’re going to raise a generation of paranoid sociopaths if we follow your advice Gaspode.

We have this impression from the media that child murder, rape, and abuse is increasing dramatically. But that is not true. Kids are safer today than they ever were. And this total safety zero tolerance kick is extremely sick and will cause all sorts of social and psychological problems.

7

Well since this is the pit and you are posting your little drama for public consumption IMO you were being a complete ass. She was being too familar with your child. You made your point. She backed off and went about her business and yet that was not enough for you. You had to lie in wait for her until she finished doing her business to continue haranging her. What a berserk jerk you are.

8

The rant wasn’t about TALKING it was about TOUCHING. And very young babies don’t have their immune system built up yet–I wouldn’t want strangers handling them either, especially in a restroom.

9

Actually, Bubble Girl wasn’t a “complete ass” or “berserk jerk” at all. She mentioned more than once in her rant that the lady ignored her. If the lady really was ignoring her (and I’m not about to argue that she wasn’t), then BG didn’t get her point across. It seems like this lady knew exactly what she was doing (invading BG’s privacy) and thought, “Aw shit!” when she realised that she had been caught. For BG to let it slide would be the pussy thing to do. Better safe than sorry when babies are concerned–make sure this lady never does it again.

10

Hey Bubble Girl, you did right. That woman deserved a bitch slap. To those of you that disagree, it ain’t a democracy and don’t even think about touching my infant without permission.

One can look, smile and speak goo goo talk (unless you have a cold) with someone’s infant, but you better ask permission to touch. Jesus, common courtesy, the baby is not a doll nor public property. It’s invasive, maybe even assult. Babies don’t like being pawed by strangers out of the blue. These molesters, and it is a form of molestation, probably didn’t wash their hands first and babies have very weak immune systems. A cold can really cause health problems. Having a baby means being responsible for their health and wellbeing, including the decision as to whether or not to allow strangers to touch them.

People in China can be incredibly rude, especially with a foreign or mixed baby like mine. Just walk up and without a by your leave, start touching, waking her up, pulling on the pacifier, etc. Most people in China don’t take a baby out of the house until they are at least 6 months old and the weather is warm. China Bambina was like a magnet for all sorts of people who had never seen an infant like her. Normally, I never stopped walking so as not to present a target. Kindly stangers were encouraged to “look but don’t touch.” I’ve had wonderful encounters with 80 year old grandmothers complementing my daughter in English they hadn’t used for 50-odd years. However, all the shitheads that just started pawing away were sworn at in very colloquial Shanghaiese and usually received at least one sharp elbow. Don’t mess with Papa Bear.

11

Yes of course, and we’re all going to die from cancer because of microwaves ovens, right?
A little melodramatic isn’t it?
For 50 years children have had the starnger danger, ‘don’t talk to strangers’ message drummed into them. . I haven’t seen the generation of sociaopaths develop yet but you apparently know thatit’s going to happen next generation.

If you really don’t understand why rational adults should not to talk to strange children without the permission of their parents you’re either incredibly stupid or incredibly niaive.

Of course, that’s what I said. I didn’t say you should show some fucking consideration for the legitimate concerns of parents living in a world where anxiety over their children is perfectly reasonable and based on rational fears.

NO.

I said that the apocalypse is at hand, that child molestaion is on the increase and babies are being stolen so their fat can be used in satanic rituals.
I know some people have said it’s being overused but really in a case like this what else is appropriate. :rolleyes:

Yes, the end is at hand. Of course it hasn’t caused problems in the last 50 years but it will now.

Seriously Lemur I’d advise you to try reading public service announcements like this and understand that parents are concerned about their children, and quite legitimately.

See on that page where it says “Always report to a police officer, a parent, a teacher or any adult you know if a stranger:
Tries to have a conversation with you or touch you while you are at the movies, playground, or walking anywhere.”

Do you understand why the Police Department is saying that? Are they paranoid psychos trying to breed a generation of sociopaths? Or do you think that police officers who have to deal with this every day might have good reason to say that? Do you understand how hard it is to get this message across when people like you think you have a god-given right to go against the wishes of parents, relatives and law enforcement bodies? If you don’t have pemisssion to engage in an act, you know such an act causes anxiety and the police encourage the public to report such acts to them so they can investigate do you think that maybe you could be wrong and that maybe you shouldn’t do it?.

Perhaps the easiest way for you to understand is to try talking to a few children and have the police explain to you why you shouldn’t do it because you are apparently unprepared to listen to concerned relatives and parents.

12

Bubble Girl, you did the right thing. If the lady hadn’t touched her it would have been different. But she did touch the baby.

If you read here http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89928 You will see that Bubble Girl and Sealemon88’s baby was a premie. Her immune system is not strong. Bubble Girl has every right to expect people to keep their hands off her baby until or unless they recieve her permission to touch her. Even if Emily hadn’t been born early a parent still has the right to expect people to keep their pea pickin’ hands off. Hell I know Bubble Girl and Sealemon but I think I would still ask before touching her.

13

Bubble Girl was correct. A two-month old baby is still very vulnerable to germs. A two-month old baby that was born prematurely is even more vulnerable.

The issue here is that the stranger got close and touched the baby without permission. That is unacceptable in any circumstance, and even more unacceptable in the case of a very tiny baby.

To all you that are saying things like the following:

Nice straw baby you got there.

14

Why not buy a plastic bubble for your kid and truly protect it? Look, I don’t think what the woman did was all that bad… wrong, yes, but let’s put this in perspective!

The kid will come in contact with all sorts of germs, every day of its life. Shit, at thanksgiving it’ll be touched by dozens of relatives, who will be just as likely to harbor germs as the woman in the bathroom.

And let’s not even speculate on the amount of germs it will encounter once it is going to school. You were right to repremand the woman, but I don’t think this is really pit-worthy.

15

Speculation, anyone? You can have some pumpkin pie with that!

A school-age child is NOT a two-month old baby. The child being discussed is.

For those of you saying that kids are being unnecessarily warned away from strangers (‘living in a bubble’ so to speak) I know too many people, both friends, family and acquaintances, who have been molested as children, to give that opinion any consideration. I also know of too damn many pedophiles (confirmed, not speculated) in my small, rural community to entrust anyone I don’t know very, very well with my (future) children.

16

For the sake of argument, I’m willing to accept the premise that no stranger has the right to touch your baby without your permission. However, your fear of the germs on her hands is irrational. Every surface in that public restroom was, in all probability, filthier than her hands. Think of every public surface you touch all day long…and then you touch your baby’s hands before you wash up. Everything from the handholds on the subway to doorknobs to your grimy car door–if you and everyone else who touches your baby isn’t walking around with surgical gloves on all day, I’m sure your baby is exposed to all kinds of germs. Not to mention that nothing short of a surgical scrub gets all the germs off your hands anyway. You should probably try to be more rational about the dangers facing your baby. She’s far more likely to catch the plague off of that filthy changing table you voluntarily placed her on than she is to catch it off some random friendly woman who touches her hands. (See Cecil’s recent column on filthy restrooms if you don’t believe me.)

17

Hearing a lot of opinions from people who are obviously not parents nor have researched the health issues. Just wait until your little infant gets a cold. Not only do you feel horrific empathy listening to them struggle to breath and probably give yourself a big helping of guilt for not protecting them adequately, but also feel rage toward any INCONSIDERATE JERK that touched your child without permission and could have been the vector for infection.

QN Jones, the most common way for an infant to catch a cold is from someone else. This is not an “irrational fear.” You sneeze, some cold germs get on your hands, you touch the baby’s hands, baby rubs eyes or nose and catches a cold. You have to catch a particular cold strain to gain immunity from the virus. There are hundreds of strains out there. If there’s a doctor in the house, can we get a ruling on how many babies catch the “plague” from a changing table versus catch colds from strangers?

See the simple thing is that I have an rule, it’s one followed in hospitals around newborns, you have to wash your hands first before touching an infant. It’s one variable I can control to protect my daughter from catching a cold.

18

Gaspode: Yeah your right it was a little lame but I’ve had time to calm down. The lady could hear fine. She had been conversing with her friend right before this happened.

tygre: I plan on getting a sling to carry her in but she still is not quite big enough for one. A lot of times we will either carry her or leave her in her carseat/carrier with a blanket covering it to discourage people.

kung fu lola:

So if some complete stranger walked up to you and wanted to hold your baby you would have no problem? That is scary. How do you know if this person is not a kidnapper or child molester? I completely agree that babies are wonderful and physical contact is good but only with my immediate family members or close friends. And just for the record I tell my family and friends not to touch her hands.

Mnementh: Exactly

Lemur866:

That is exactly right. Especially children who cannot speak up for themselves. I didn’t know this person, she didn’t know me but yet she had her face right in my two month old daughters face and touching her. Was she sick, did she have a cold, were her hands clean? I have no way of knowing because she was a stranger. My daughter is a preemie so her immune system is not the strongest so she can get sick very easily.

astro: Surey you are not serious. Did you even read my OP? I didn’t get my point across becuase she was ignoring me. I was not going to leave until I had my say. She was only told once and hopefully I made my point.

FireUnderpantsBoobs: Thank you. Right before this happened she had been talking with a friend so I know she could understand me.

China Guy: You don’t know how bad I wanted to bitch slap her. This is my baby and I am responsible for her well being. People/Strangers think that babies are public property. I appreciate the fact that people think she is cute but they can get their point across to me without touching her. My husband is the same way with her.

Ayesha: Thats right. I would have had no problem with her talking to her but the touching - NO. My mom, Emily’s grandmother, won’t even touch her hands unless she has washed them thoroughly. Thank you for pointing out her being a preemie, I forgot to mention that. Aside from her being so tiny that is my main concern. He immune system is very fragile right now. We just started taking her out, not that often but we have. Usually she is covered by a blanket but since I had just finished changing her she wasn’t covered up. I appreciate you saying that. You are more than welcome to touch her, as long as you wash your hands first. :wink:

Green bean: That is exactly it. At least ask so that I can tell you very politely, No.

zuma: If I could right now I would. She is only two months old, her immune system is not that strong. The lady was a stranger, I don’t know what could have been on her hands she was in a public restroom after all. I had washed my hands before I started changing my baby and after changing her. Yes she will be around family at Thanksgiving. No they will not be passing her around to hold her and for that matter even touching her. My family is courteous enough to know that you just don’t do that with babies that age. They know better than to touch her hands and they would ask before picking her up or touching her.

I’m not talking about a school age child. I’m talking about a two month old baby who was born seven weeks early and who’s immune system is not as strong as it should be. When she gets to school age there won’t be a problem but for now just don’t touch her.

Venoma: I feel the same way. When I decided to become a parent I also pormised to protect my children and ensure their good health and safety. You just never know what kind of people are out there. You can NEVER be to safe where your children are concerned.

Q.N. Jones: Your right about one thing, public restrooms are filthy. I bring my own tissues and wipes. I don’t touch anything in a public restroom directly with my hands. I use a tissue to turn faucets on, to open the doors, even to lock the stalls. People are disgusting. And for the record I chagned my baby in her stroller. I would never, ever place her on one of those disgusting changing tables.

You can disagree all you want but the bottom line is my baby’s health and safety. You just shouldn’t touch a strangers baby or invade their space.
fixed bold tags - UB

[Edited by UncleBeer on 11-13-2001 at 11:35 AM]

19

China Guy: I think you misunderstood some parts of my post. I understand that it’s completely rational to try to keep your child from getting ill. But there are some measures that cross the line from reasonable precautions to obsessive worry.

Second, when I said “the plague”, I was using a sarcastic term to refer to catching any illness from the two sources discusses: the changing table (assuredly covered with fecal coliform bacteria) and a woman’s hand (probably has some dangerous germs, but maybe not). I’m pretty confident of that hypothesis, but I don’t have hard data–it’s an educated guess.

Nevertheless, Bubble Girl’s post kind of makes the question moot, considering the description of her precautions. I still think the level of her concern is on the high side, but hey, to each his own, I guess. I take back the “irrational” comment, though, because it sounds like she’s not ignoring one large threat (the dirty restroom) but focusing on a smaller one (the woman’s hand).
Oh well–so much for my first bitchy foray into the Pit. :stuck_out_tongue:

20

Just FWIW, a stranger’s germs are more dangerous to a baby than the germs they are exposed to every day. Especially if the baby is being breast fed, it is getting/building up immunity to the things it is constantly exposed to. Introducing a new batch of bacteria is far more likely to get a child sick.