I personally get pretty pissed off when someone tries to touch my infant daughter. Some people carry some pretty nasty stuff, and most of these people think hygene is a greeting.
Simple rule of thumb, you touch me and I can kick your ass for assault. Touch my child and I reserve the right to kick your ass. Always ask permission to touch anything about my person, it is just proper protocol.
I mean, I see walking up and touching someones baby as about as personal as walking up and squeezing some ladies tits. Neither one should be performed without some form of permission.
Mnementh already made this point: You don’t walk up to a stranger and touch their STUFF without permission. You sure as hell don’t handle a stranger’s baby without at least asking permision first.
Emily is doing wonderfully: That’s not something we’re going to fuck up by letting her get handled by some dumbass who has mistaken her for a poodle or something. ESPECIALLY IN A MOTHERFUCKING PUBLIC RESTROOM!
We’ve got no problem with people looking at her in her stroller, cooing at her, ect. But you don’t breathe on her, and you sure as hell don’t touch her hands, which she’s going to put in her mouth 10 seconds later. And it’s not just us being paranoid: our doctor told us the same thing.
And yes, I always wash my hands before handling Emily.
I’d never initiate contact with a kid until I had the parent’s permission, and it’s not necessary that it always be verbal either. A look and a smile from them can indicate to me that it would be alright if I spoke to their child to be friendly or supportive.
But I’d never touch their kid without expressed consent nor can I really think of any situation, short of to save 'em from a speeding car, that would warrent that kind of intimacy.
If that lady wanted to smile at your kid in passing, that’s okay. But to walk up and put her hands on her, in a bathroom of all places, is right out.
And I agree, you needed more spunk in your rant.
Some stranger touches my kid and I’ll toast their fucking ears.
It was insensitive for the stranger in the bathroom to touch your child. But get a grip. You cannot prevent your child from catching colds. Be sure to get em immunized against pertussis, though. Did you touch anything in the mall and then touch your baby without washing your hands? Do you ever go out and then come home and touch your baby? Ever sneeze in the same room? Babies are exposed constantly to germs in the world. And she will get colds. My kids were in daycare and traveled all over the world when they were babies. They caught a lot of mild illnesses and - I can’t say for sure that this is why, but at the ages of 9 and 11 - they almost never get sick compared to their friends who were kept home and protected in their early years.
I think it’s good you tried to educate the woman in the bathroom, but you’re fighting a losing battle, Bubble Girl. Unless you get a bubble for her, too.
Well, for what it’s worth, I think bubble is absolutely right. You do NOT walk up and touch a stranger’s baby. It has already been mentioned that the baby was premature and is very small. Even if I knew the parents personally, I would ask permission to hold her, and absolutely wash my hands first.
It’s not an issue of “she’s going to get colds” and such, it’s the fact that she was a preemie and has spent enough time in the hospital already. You don’t need some dumbass who might have strep or ass-bacteria all over their hands touching her. She’ll eventually be exposed to all sorts of nasties, I’m sure. It just seems not too much to ask that she not be exposed to unneeded risks.
It doesn’t matter what germs the lady was carrying. The point is that she touched someone else’s child, without permission - and worse, it was a stranger’s child.
Emily’s Mom and Dad may not be able to protect her from everything in life, but at least for the time being they can dictate who Emily comes in contact with, and who she doesn’t. That lady had no right to do what she did - rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t walk up and hold the parents hands without so much as a by-your-leave, then don’t touch their offspring. To walk up and touch a stranger’s baby without permission is so incredibly rude… even if germs didn’t exist, I wouldn’t want a stranger touching my hypothetical baby.
This lady is an idiot of the highest rank. You don’t mess with other people’s stuff. Emily, right now, is “their stuff”. You wouldn’t go through Emily’s change bag, you wouldn’t give her pram a test push around the change room when Bubblegirl’s back is turned, and you don’t hold hands with the baby without getting permission. Common courtesy, and in these days of “Stranger Danger” and paranoia, it’s self-protection too. Don’t do ANYTHING that could get you accused of messing with other people’s kids!
Bubblegirl, you did real good. I’d have gone crazy if that creepy person had done that to a baby I cared about.
Ok, what’s the protocol for lost children? This has come up in my life a time or two–you are at a store and you see a kid, 2-6, wandering around, no adult in sight. My usual reaction would be to 1) ask the kid if they are lost 2) take thier hand and 3) lead them to the closest employee (which can take a minute somewhere like Super Wal-Mart, so you can’t just leave hte kid there while oyu run off to find a blue vest.)
Now, part of me feels like toddlers have sturdier immune systems, and in fact are likely to have recently had their hands in much more bizarre places than mine have been. And a lost kid can’t just be left there. What would you all do? Does it make a difference if you are male/female?
When I have seen a “lost” kid, I have asked them, very loudly, “Are you lost? Where is your mommy or daddy?” Then the negligent parent has come over from the from the next aisle (or wherever), glared at me, and whisked the kid away.
I have never encountered a truly lost kid. If I did, I think I would try to stay with the kid and flag down someone to notify the store management. Only as a last resort would I take the kid’s hand and lead him away while looking for help.
Someone above mentioned danger situations as the only times when it would be acceptable to touch a kid without permission. If a kid is really lost, then it’s a danger situation.
I’m with you, Bubble Girl. No permission to touch means no touching.
Your tale just reminded me of something that happened nearly seven years ago. I was with my cousin C. and her baby, J. in a big mall. We sat down on a bench to regroup, and some guy kept wandering back and forth in front of us, staring at J. Then he sat down next to us and continued staring at her, at which point we got up and got out of there without a word. I spoke to C. later and found out we’d both had the same thought: If the guy wanted to say she was cute, he could have come up to us and said so. But staring at a baby with no smile, nod, or any other kind of gesture just creeped us out. maybe he was harmless, but we didn’t want to take the chance. Call us paranoid if you want to, but you just never know. We just didn’t care for the look in his eye.
Well, as far as I’m concerned, doing just what you mentioned is the right reaction. You should make sure that the kid is really lost, first. Sometimes, the parents are right there; they’re just letting the kid wander the aisle (:rolleyes: Great idea, mom and dad).
The male/female thing is a little tricky though. IMHO, if you want to help the kid in that way, do it. I mean, you know you’re not a pedophile or a kidnapper. The kid’s parents might get a little upset if they’re nearby (see above), but, really, that’s a risk you have to talk.
With your own kids, though…I’ve heard this: tell them to find a woman. Why? Statistically, a woman is less likely to be a pedophile (am I going to get flamed for this?..I know it’s a generalization :o). Also, a woman is marginally more likely to get involved and stay involved. This, of course, is debateable, as I know many guys that would never, ever become uninvolved. But that’s what my mom did, and that’s what I’ve heard should be taught to little kids.
Oh…and don’t tell them to find a policeman. If your kid is lost in Walmart, the odds of him/her finding a policeman aren’t very good. The kid will probably also be unable to identify a security guard. Telling them to “find a policeman” might lead them to just wander around looking for someone in a uniform. Not the most efficient way to find mom and dad.
But did you read that the woman touched the baby’s HANDS? What do babies do with their hands and fingers? They put them in their mouth. I bet if the woman had just chucked her under the chin or maybe tickled a foot, Bubble Girl wouldn’t be so upset. But to touch her hands? Yuck. And she’s a premmie, for God’s sake.
I had my 2-month-old daughter at a friend’s after-wedding party (after the reception; she was invited) and someone (a complete stranger!) stuck her finger in a beer and then stuck her finger in my daughter’s mouth! I nearly ripped her a new one. The beer was bad enough, but I had no idea where this woman’s hands had been…to a wedding, a reception and now an outdoor party. Who knows what she had touched all day long?
I’m a non-parent, and furthermore, have very little experience with babies, toddlers, or kids in general (hazards of a nuclear fission family).
And yet, I’m still stunned that people think it’s acceptable to wander up and lay hands on a complete stranger’s child. This is probably just my naive view that people of all ages are…well, people, and not friendly little puppies.
Germs be damned, you don’t get to walk up and randomly paw strangers who happen to be adults (that’s what the nice policeman told me, anyway), you don’t get to do that to a stranger who happen to be a child at the time.
I agree-you don’t touch ANYONE without permission.
But, for a lost child-why not tell them to find a store worker? I work at Kmart, and we’re told how to deal with this sort of thing.
I like kids. And kids like to touch people. I remember student teaching and all the kids would fight over who got to hold your hand at recess!
But a 2 month old, and a premie to boot? Huh uh. Don’t touch someone else’s kid. Hell, don’t touch someone else’s DOG, either.
I don’t like strange people coming up to touch me, without my permission. Poor Emily can’t say, “Yo bitch, get your motherfucking hands off of me!”
I feel your pain, Bubble Girl. Why are some people hell-bent on defending their right to fondle stranger’s children? I once had to physically remove a woman’s hands from my beautiful niece’s beautiful hair because “excuse me, please let her go” wasn’t enough. “Geez, I’m not hurting her!” was her wounded reply.
Except for one instance where the person apologized and admitted that trying to touch my without my (or her, for that matter) consent was inappropriate, all the offenders belittled my desire for them to keep their hands to themselves (“you’re paranoid”, “I’m just being friendly” etc.). It’s difficult enough to teach children to assert themselves against the advances of ill-intentioned strangers without “nice” people pawing at them, too.
I didn’t read the thread, so this might have been suggested already, but you should have called Mall security immediately. How do you know that “nice old lady” didn’t have her hands laced with anthrax?
She’s a fucking bitch and should be told off by someone who carries a gun.
I am the mother of two children, ages 6 1/2 and 21 months. I will have a new baby in March. I am here to tell you to keep your damn hands to yourself, unless I give my permission for you to touch. I don’t mind someone patting my baby on the head or tweaking their toes or even chucking their chin–but ASK!! There may be a reason you shouldn’t touch! I have touched the babies of strangers before–but NEVER without asking, “May I?” or “Do you mind?” Most of the time the answer is, “Go ahead, it’s fine.” But these parents are WELL within their rights to say no. And I find unbelievable the number of people who will cough into their hands and then want to hold a baby’s hand. This is thoughtless and MORE than inconsiderate. You don’t know pain until you see your child suffer even so much as a cold. No, you can’t protect them from everything bad, but it’s ridiculous to call parents paranoid because they don’t want to take stupid-ass risks like having strangers touch their children without permission to do so. I can’t be sure that I’ll never be in a car wreck either, but my kids are damn sure strapped in every time we go somewhere.
I left out the word YEARS after 6 1/2. I have a 6 1/2 YEAR old (girl)and a 21 month old (boy). I reread the post after I submitted it and realized how it appeared. I figured people would think I was spitting out kids left and right!
BTW, they tell me the new baby is a girl. I know–off subject…but who can resist telling something like this?
If I saw a lost child, I’d ask them if they knew where their parents were, in a nice loud voice. I’d get a store employee as fast as I could, and I’d avoid any physical contact if possible. Parents are paranoid nowadays, and I don’t blame them one bit.
I can’t speak for my wife, but it still would have bothered me. I’d prefer to be asked if touching her anywhere is OK. Am I a little paranoid? Sure. My daughter spent her first four weeks in the hopital in an Isolet. And right now, with flu season in full swing, I’m especially worried.
But really, as others have said, it all comes down to common courtesy. If I don’t know you, then keep your hands off of me, my stuff and my family.
But feel free to spend all day looking at her and telling me how cute she looks, since she takes after me.
Christ Bhudda, a little melodramatic aren’t we? You get fired up when people call you “chicken” too dont you? You sound like the type of person I would like to touch one time just to see you NOT try to kick my ass.
Either way, old ladies have a tendency to touch babies, but in the bathroom may be going a little far.
