So I was at a store, you know, the kind where there’s a person at the door that checks your receipt.
Anyways, me and my wife are walking towards the door with my daughter(15mo) in the cart. We hand the girl (about 25ish years old) our receipt and before she even looks at it, she puts her hand on my daughters collar, I figured maybe the hood was inside out or there was a wrinkle or something stupid she was anal about. Whatever, no big deal. Then I watch as she pulled my daughters sweatshirt hood up over her head. Ummmm okaay, then she pulls her jacket coat up over her head. Daughter starts crying (she doesn’t like things on her head) so I take the hoods off before she goes all out screaming and mumble half under my breath ‘awww, you made her cry’ she replied that it’s cold out, and I told her we’re parked close and the car is still warm ‘but I don’t want her to get sick’ she said The whole time I’m thinking, ya know, why don’t YOU check the receipts and I’LL do the parenting. I told my wife if she ever does that again I’ll flat out tell her not to touch my child. I would have this time, but I was in a state of WTF as I watched her do this. She told me that this is the second time this girl has done exactly that.
Now I should mention that this was all done very nicely, and the girl was very gentle and all, but it was still none of her business (BTW it was probably about 45 degrees out, it’s not that the baby was going to my frostbitten before we made it to the car). Part of the reason I took her hoods back off where out of principle, this isn’t something she should be doing. I’ll bet she forces her ideals down everyones throat too.
Anyways I was just about to write an email to the company explaining the the ‘incident’ and that they really need to tell this employee not to touch other peoples children, I even thought about mentioning that I would call the police if she touches my daughter again, but I’m probably gonna leave that line out, I want this letter to be realistic, not full of empty threats.
So, I’m I over reacting, like I said this was done with good intention, she wasn’t hurting anyone, but it’s the princeple of the matter and it really bugs me.
The next time she does that she will hear me say “Please don’t touch my daugter anymore” loud enough that other people will hear me as well, but there’s a good chance that the next time we’re all in there together it’ll be warm enough that we won’t require coats…or hoods.
What would you do?
I’m willing to bet that if I write the letter, at the very least, the employee and the store will be notified, I mean what if she does this to some other kid and ends up slamming his head into the cart, or scratches an eye or something. This kind of thing is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Threatening to call the cops would be over reacting. Complaining to a manager seems justifiable though. Really don’t see managment approving that kind of thing…
At first I thought you were saying that she was looking under the baby’s shirt and coat for things you may be shoplifting, heh. Now that would piss me off!
As for what actually happened, I could see some people making an issue of it, but I think I’d just chalk it up to one lady’s eccentricities and shrug it off. But I just like to pick my battles- I’ll save my wrath for the idiot drivers I’ll surely encounter on my way home.
I really want to just leave it alone since no one was harmed, but the idea, the thought of it just seemed so wrong. Even if we ignore all the ‘what if’s,’ if she had a problem she could have made a suggestion…like the lady at the store yesterday who told me I was wasting my money on baby food.
I know, and I agree with you that she shouldn’t be doing this. And I wouldn’t blame you if you did have a talk with her manager. It’s an option. But I learned from experience that, when you have a baby, you are expected to share it with everyone, including strangers. People will touch the baby, people will get up in the baby’s face, people will say things to and about the baby at will. When these things made me uncomfortable, I’d just put on a tight smile and politely extract the baby from the situation.
She was strapped into the cart and the receipt checker girl hadn’t checked the receipt yet. I suppose I could have just grabbed the receipts and walked out the door. I mean, really what is anyone going to say to “Well, then tell her to check receipts and keep her hands off of my kid”
I think I’ll just write a polite but concerned letter off to the corp email address.
It’s not a one time thing, this is the second time it’s happened which leads me to believe she probably does it often. If nothing else, I can’t be the only one made uncomfortable by the situation and like I said before, what happens when she ends up scratching some one, or poking a kid in the eye, or (since she did it with one hand) accidentally slamming a kid into the handlebar of the cart.
Ain’t it the truth. It’s just something you have to steel yourself for. Whether or not your child is, in their eyes, appropriately dressed for the temperature really seems to bring out the busybodies.
My concern is that, even though this cashier was out of line, she could lose her job over this if you complain forcefully. Do you really want that to happen?
You didn’t say anything to her at the time and you want to ambush her with a letter to corporate? Yes, you are definitely overreacting. If it happens all the time, (which you don’t know) maybe other parents don’t mind so much. If you don’t want her touching your child, tell her not to touch your child. Say something like, “We’ll handle it, thanks,” and move on. But please, worrying about whether she’ll injure a child while maybe pulling up a hood? I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down. She isn’t going to hurt anyone and you don’t need to use that to justify getting her into trouble.
What right does a stranger have to touch the infant child of another without permission? The first time it occurred to you is understandable you did not react. There should have been no second time.
Let it go for now. But the next you leave that store with your munckin, make no overt gestures, but if the scenario begins to present itself, be polite, direct and tell her to fuck off.
I’d agree with the general sentiment that she should let you do the parenting. OTOH, it appears she’s acting out of genuine interest. Be that as it may, it’s still out of line. OTOOH even complaining to a manager isn’t really going to do much other than get her a sort of roll-eyes-talking-to (I’m sure the dopers like me who have worked in retail know as much) unless she’s the subject of repeated complaints from independent parties. Basically, I’d advise letting it slide as far as the corporation is concerned and if it comes up to you specifically again with her, make it clear to her that what she’s doing is out of line as far as you’re concerned. It’ll make more of an impression to that employee far more than a generic complaint from a customer to management will
I don’t think you’re overreacting, but I would speak with a manager rather than send a letter. You have already spoken with her. I don’t touch other people’s kids without permission from both child and adult. You made it clear you were uncomfortable, your daughter made it clear she was uncomfortable.
[hijack]The Nephew was 16mo for Carnaval. He hates hoods and hats, will only put up with them if he’s real cold… or for his tiger costume! He knew the ears were part of it, so he kept putting the ear-hat back on himself when it fell off.[/hijack]
She probably just likes babies and it gives her and excuse to “play mommy” for all of five seconds. If gives her an excuse to interact with a wee one.
Engage her in friendly conersation, like: “You must really like babies. Do you have any toddlers in your family?” Have a short pointless conversation and then politely say “You know, we aren’t very comfortable with strangers handling our baby’s clothing. You’re welcome to say ‘hello’, but please don’t fuss with her jacket.”
She probably hasn’t the foggiest idea that she’s annoying the parents because she’s too focussed on the living dolly in the cart.
You could try picking your daughter out of the cart, and simply stepping away from immediate reach of the employee. I hardly think the employee would chase you around the cart just to flip up the hood of the jacket on your daughter.
Personally, I wouldn’t write the letter–although I don’t agree with people overstepping physical (or other) boundaries, I think it will probably get the employee fired over something she may not understand WHY it’s inappropriate. I’m all for avoiding the temptation.
Yes, I think you’re overreacting. Babies seem to draw the maternal side out in people. And unsolicited advice from strangers.
“Honey, she’s teething. You need to let her chew on a turkey bone.”
“Why did you give that adorable child such a horrible name?”
“She’s gassy. Put her up so that her diaphram is up on your shoulder.”
Get used to it. You’ll soon find out that a lot of otherwise reasonable people believe that infants should be swaddled with 4 inches of fleece anytime the temperature drops below 70. Either conform to what they see as a health and safety issue or be prepared to hear every grandma in the county tell you to put a jacket on that baby.
After our Superbowl party, good friends of mine put their baby into one of those portable car seats. As they prepared to leave, they zippered her up into one of those quilted onesies. Over that they put on a thick coat, mittens, and hat with ear flaps. And then they topped the whole thing with another blanket. I, having one too many mai tais and being a hater of bulky coats myself, commiserated with her and loudly wished her good luck in not dying of hypothermia on the 30 foot trek from our house to her warmed car.
Yeah, it was probably out of line, but babies do bring out the opinions in people.
I agree completely. The idea that you’re supposed to stand by while a complete fucking stranger touches your kid is mind-boggling to me. That said, I wouldn’t bother with a letter to corporate but would simply be prepared for the next time the employee tries to pull that shit.
I’ve never been pregnant myself, but I’ve been told by many pregnant women that complete strangers will walk up to them and touch their bellies. What is it about pregnancy and children that impels people to forgo personal space boundaries and reach on in for a touch?
You are not overreacting. Giving you unsolicited advice? Let it go. Touching your child without your permission? Definitely worth a “Please don’t do that again.” and a talk with the manager if she persists. Yeah, babies bring out the maternal in people, but that’s no reason to let them put their grubby hands on your kid.
Next time, grab one of the woman’s breasts and start massaging it. If she complains, just say “Oh, it looked like your bra was riding up. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
