If you are writing a scene that has a mix of dialog and internal thought, should the thoughts be placed in italics? On one hand, I can see a line or two for emphasis, but what there are several lines of internal thought close togther? Does it appear overdone?
I struggle with (a) the nice effect for a one-line thought in a dialog vs. (b) trying to be consistent throughout which leads to instances of more internal thought where it looks overdone. Or, maybe it’s just me…
I’d like the SDopers to chime in. What works best for you? Any pointers?
It totally depends on the perspective from which you are writing. If you are writing from a third person personal perspective, where your POV is basically an internal monologue in the third person by various characters in your story, then having some lines in italics and others not would be confusing.
However, if you’re writing in third person omniscient, where your narration is external to your characters, then italicizing to indicate a specific thought could be very effective.
It’s easy enough to just leave it like all other text:
This is going to be a problem, she thought.
It ultimately a matter of style. I’d find the use of the italics obtrusive and, since italics usually stand for emphasis, it’s putting too much stress on it. It is good advice to use it sparingly, but often there isn’t any need for it at all.
For instance:
She wondered where Joe was. It wasn’t like him to be this late and he was usually good at calling if there was going to be a problem. But maybe she was just worrying too much.
spectrum. Except as a misidentification by HS English teachers, the third-person omniscient point of view does not exist in fiction (or, rather, it exists so rarely that it might as well not be mentioned). The third-person narrative nearly always has a point of view; the closest parallel would be third-person multiple POV. Where you’re moving from one characters thoughts to another within a single scene, it’s considered bad writing, and you have to be pretty damn good to pull it off.