Straight doper males - have you ever masturbated with another man?

Nope. Chevy Chase said he did, though–in order to learn how.

Cite: Playboy interview, ca. 1986.


By the very definition of “straight guys” this scenario wouldn’t happen, let alone be “normal”. The only guys who wind up masturbating with other guys are either gay or bisexual or in denial about being either of those two things. To a straight guy it sounds bizzare to suggest it.

Shit no.

No. Not even close.

Me and two buddies from school went away this year for a boys’ weekend away in Turkey, and shared a room in a hostel. One morning I woke up early and went to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom one of the guys was lying there choking his chicken. He had his iPod headphones in, so I assume he hadn’t heard me get up and assumed we were both still asleep, and decided to crack one off before we awoke. Headphones, shared room, masturbation: silly mistake.

I have not let him forget this.

Man? No.

But as a 12-year-old, I did spank it in the presence of the 14-year-old guy who introduced me to the pastime. And a year or so later in the presence of the guy my own age who I passed that knowledge along to.

Nope. Never.

I have not.

Does it count if there is a girl somewhere in the mix?

If this is a ‘Vicar of Dibley’ reference I salute you sir. (lurking straight female here)

That depends…

a. Did the girl touch anything? If yes, then it doesn’t count.
aa. If no, did you both do it because it’s something she asked? If yes, then is doesn’t count.

Come to think of it. The only way that would count is if the girl had a eyes closed the whole time while sticking her fingers in her ear (with nothing else getting stuck anywhere).


And the url would be…?

Nope. Never. Weird.

The closest I’ve ever been* to that was during some threesomes or foursomes where we were watching the girls. It wasn’t like I was watching him and he was watching me. Gross.
*I don’t know how you could use it against me, but I’m NOT saying “come”

Being gay, my experience probably isn’t what you’re looking for…however I have several times done exactly that with guys that have evinced no other sign over the years of being gay or bi. Those all happened when I was a kid and the other guys were somewhere between about age 12-16.

No, but I went to boarding school and we used to joke about the biscuit game all the time.

Well apart from wanking, he spent most of the weekend watching Family Guy on his iPod touch, if that helps?

On an overnight school camp trip in the 6th grade, some of the guys in my cabin were doing some quasi-gay stuff. They played strip poker, they had one guy run outside naked on a dare, and one guy sort of masturbated while a few others watched, by I don’t think it went to orgasm.

I remained in my bunk with a single tear rolling down my cheek.

Negative. Never knew anyone that said they did, either.

And was wearing a burka. And didn’t talk.