[The theme music to the Ms. America Pageant’s playing in the background, when out on the stage walks celestina. She’s wearing a gorgeous and elegant pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, her hair’s tied up in a pony tail, and bunny slippers grace her feet. She walks out onto the runway to receive her crown for being elected “Straightdope Genius.”]
I’d like to thank Gartog & Zanshin for being such darlins to me. Gosh, I never expected to receive such a prestigious award as this one. I will spend my reign trying to live up to the honor that has been bestowed upon me.
[After receiving her crown, celestina walks over to Gartog and gives him a big ol’ juicy kiss and a gratuitous fondle or two. She then whispers something naughty in his ear, and he blushes. [giggle] Then she makes her way to Zanshin, beckons to his tall self to bend down a little so she can reach him, and proceeds to cover his face in kisses. She whispers something naughty in his ear, causing him to blush too. She moves away from Zanshin, waves to the crowd, and then exits the stage.]