Lesbians often do.
Ugh.:rolleyes: Can we please dispense with the myth that almost every straight man is a closeted homo waiting to get out? It’s like dudes who bring their gay friend to a strip club and buys him $500 in lap dances. People like what they like.
I’m not sure anyone is actually saying that’s the case, we’re just trying to better-establish what kind of number of people do it and in what circumstances.
Besides, does it offend your sensibilities that much that some people might think that straight men/you might be gay?
So, I have this friend.
My friend had always had lots of gay friends, and though he’d never been attracted to them, he’d been bi-curious for a while.
So, one evening he and a friend get a little drunk and fool around for a bit (basically stopping short of penetrative sex) before realising he wasn’t getting turned on at all, and he gets out of there.
I think he knew before, during and after that he was straight, he just literally was curious.
Straight male, never experimented, the thought never crossed my mind. If any of my straight male friends experimented or thought about experimenting, it wasn’t made known to me. The closest thing I remember is some friends that were in Boy Scouts relating tales of group masturbation on camping trips. Not masturbating each other (as far as they admitted) but just doing it at the same time.
Until I had sex with my first girlfriend at 18 I never experimented with girls either.
I can account for at least a dozen guys who grew up to identify as completely straight that I fooled around with as a kid/teen. It’s never come up, but I’ve wondered before how many would admit it now.
Well I guess I can post some of my experiences here. 18 year old straight dude here, I’ve been with girls and that seems like the only thing I enjoy. I do not believe I have ever experimented with any kind of homosexual tendencies, and before I matured in the second half of my high school life I’d probably identify as completely homophobic.
But that was then, and this is now. And I have a chilling tale from the party I went to after my high school graduation. Everyone is drinking, most of us are drunk. I’m being a stereotypical male looking for the cutest, most willing female around, to pretty much no avail. So as I’m attempting to flirt, I notice that there was about 4 people all laying on top of each other on the couch. I ease my way over there, hoping to see something interesting, but I end up seeing a gay acquaintance on top of my closest friend for the last 6 years and in effect on top a couple friends that I have known to be straight for at least 4 years. Maybe they were cuddling with each other because it was cold, but that is hard to believe on a warm June night in Florida.
Up until that day I always thought that hetero~homosexuality was very clear cut but I saw that one too many shots makes people do things that normally would make them question reality. I never mentioned this to that best friend I mentioned, or to anyone else. Maybe this is immature of me, but I know for a fact that my buddy is straight (I think). And I really don’t want to know if anything more than cuddling was happening between this certain group of guys at this graduation party.
Does your friend happen to be TKF1234? Because that sounds remarkably similar to his story.
Can I ask why you consider that situation to be chilling? Sounds like the guys involved were just a bit drunk and playful, what’s the big deal?
Yeah, I am not the least bit homophobic, but I agree with this. I suspect both confirmation bias and projection are at work in this thread.
But hey, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe those of us who are exclusively straight are the ones in the 10% minority. :dubious:
Has anyone in this thread said what you and msmith537 are suggesting?
What panache45 referred to is what’s sometimes called guys who are “on the down low.” They identify as straight, but hook up with other men. I figure that’s probably the older, married version of the “straight” guys I’ve known in college who get gropey when alone with a gay man. Those guys aren’t typical. I sincerely doubt any sane gay man would assume they are. Some of those guys might be gay and in the closet, or bisexuals who’ve decided to identify as straight, or–yes–straight guys who are curious/horny, in the same way otherwise straight women sometimes experiment with other women. Just acknowledging that those guys exist isn’t implying any of us think all men who identify as straight are like that.
Haha, no it wasn’t him. And it didn’t seem to be that intense. It seemed chilling to me in the sense that it would be like finding out that your significant other messed around with cult activities (or something similarly odd) in years prior. Then you find a book on black magic or something in a storage unit. Its just a big ‘WTF’ moment. And I feel that way because there have been years where I’ve spent more time hanging out with this guy than I have with my family. I just thought I KNEW him.
BTW I don’t want to make it sound like I find homosexuality to be odd, but consider that it would be odd to pull a complete 180 in sexual tendencies. This wasn’t just guys being playful. Playful for us is punching each other for no reason or pulling each others’ pants down in front of girls. Maybe I’m perpetuating a double standard here, but straight guys just don’t cuddle with other guys, be they straight or gay. Feels weird just thinking about it.
There have been a couple of “Oh all guys are bi if you get enough booze in them” sorts of posts. (Paraphrasing, of course.)
Zero “experiementation,” never been the slightest bit curious.I do not buy that straight guys are “curious” or “experiment” (at least not past adolescence). Guys who do that already have an inclination in that area. Definitionally, if they are attracted to men at all, they are not really exclusively straight.
I have never seen straight guys get drunk and cuddle, by the way. Alcohol loosens inhibitions, it doesn’t alter sexual orientation.
Is it possible they were on Ecstasy? That can make people pretty touchy-feely in a non-sexual way?
I made out with a close guy friend once or twice, wasn’t for either of us. Much like certain foods, I’m just not interested, though I have no problem with others who may enjoy it.
Things happened to me when I was much much younger that I suppose would actually qualify as abuse, but I have only recently begun to think of it in that way. that was also male on male (though we were the same age).
What I find interesting about this thread, and others like it, is that it continues to lend credence to my theory (certainly not just mine, no doubt) that sexuality is not an either/or thing, and is certainly not driven by JUST biology. For some homosexual behavior, it most certainly IS a choice. However, for some it isn’t, it’s just a biological fact. This makes the entire issue much more confusing for some folks, I fear.
Now who’s projecting?
No maybe about it - you are. Just because in your experience men don’t cuddle doesn’t mean that NO man cuddles. I’m gay, I like cuddles, I know straight guys who like cuddles too (with men and women). It doesn’t have to be sexual.
However it sounds like there was more than just that happening in that instance, and I can appreciate it must have made you feel a bit :eek: to see your friends doing something that you didn’t think they would. My advice is just to be relaxed about it and ask whether anyone was hurting anyone else. If the answer is no then what’s the problem?
It’s an either or thing for me, I guarantee you. I join those who don’t like the insinuation that all people have homosexual tendencies. No they don’t. I don’t. I also know there are gay people who don’t have the slightest interest in the opposite sex. The Kinsey scale does have two opposite ends.
**Dio **- we get it, you’re 100% straight, so straight that in fact any 90 degree angles you touch immediately turn into 180s. You can be used to calibrate spirit levels. Your existence is evidence against the curved theory of space time.
Fact is that there are lots of men that do enjoy same sex activity. Neither I or anyone else are saying that all men feel that way, or are that way, but you saying it’s either or for you doesn’t actually mean that’s the way it is for lots of others.
Sure, I’m gay, and there are other gay guys in this thread, but I’m not a recruitment officer for the gay army. If a guy starts talking to me about his same sex interests (or lack of them) I don’t have a personal investment in making him admit he wants to do it, but lots of men have told me about times when they have. So this suggests to me that quite a lot of men do it, the question being asked here is: is it some, many or most of men who do this? And in what kinds of circumstances.
If your raging heterosexuality cannot conceive of sex with a member of the same gender then please step away the discussion about that.
I really doubt it. But I think I’ll take any answer as an excuse by now. I’m scared.
You misunderstand me completely. I’m as pro-GBLT as it gets. I’m just calling bullshit on the “everybody is bi” meme. Lots of people are pinned at either end of of the spectrum.