Study Shows: 1000 Random Americans Are Morons

You always have to take The Register with a grain of salt, but nevertheless, they often toss up things worth thinking about. Check out this story:

"If the US was run by a company, Microsoft would get the job.

That’s according to a report by PR firm Brouillard Communications, which surveyed 1,000 random Americans on who they would trust to put in charge of the country.

The software giant was four times as popular as second choice IBM. General Motors and General Electric also got into the top four."


You of the SDMB are (mostly) not morons. What company would you want to run your country?

Me? It’s a tossup between id Software and the Dr. Richard Head Company, makers of the Pussy Snorkel.

I don’t think we needed a study to tell us that…

On that note, I vote for the World Wrestling Federation.

That’s a bit harsh. I know it’s fun to jump on the “all Americans are stupid except me” bandwagon, but I don’t see any moronic behavior here.

People were asked a somewhat bizarre question and they gave an answer. This is probably not a question that kept most of the respondents up at night contemplating, so they gave a quick answer. You might not like the answer, but it’s not moronic. Microsoft has grown from a start-up to a huge company. You might think they are too aggressive or whatever, but that’s your opinion.

If people had answered “What’s a corporation?” or “What’s America?” then they would have been morons.

  1. Blizzard (software company)

  2. Subaru (if foreign companies are allowed)

  3. Apple (I know I’m gonna get ragged on for this one)

I’m just listing companies whose products I really like; I figure if someone makes a great product, they must be doing something right.

Just by creating this thread I believe I have joined the ranks of those aforesaid 1000 Americans. I’m merely interested in people’s opinions. Yours, Zoff, is duly noted.

I heartily second this. We desperately need a National Diablo Day.

Just checking, but if some money-grubbing, heartless, shill-for-Satan company is running the country and profits go down, can we downsize, say, Kentucky* and Idaho*?

*Used for demonstration purposes only. I hold no ill will against either fine State.

If it’s any consolation… contrary to the thread title, all 1,000 of 'em did not vote for Microsoft. Although those who picked General Motors clearly are not Mensa members, either.

This message brought to you by Ace Face, random American.

I vote for Jack In The Box.

At least the place would be clean & cheerful.

Also, the Funda-Loonies would be so pssd! :smiley:

The question itself is stupid, so why would you expect an intelligent answer?

Pollsters regularly ask passersby ridiculous questions, like “What celebrity would you vote for as President?” No matter what answer people give, it’s likely to be ridiculous! We don’t KNOW Tom Hanks! We don’t KNOW Harrison Ford! We don’t KNOW Arnold Schwarzenegger (who wasn’t born in the USA, and isn’t eligible anyway)! We don’t know anything about celebrities, beyond the gossipy todbits we pick up in the media.

If asked a question like that, most people would either scoff at the question or say the first famous name that popped into their heads. Mel Gibson might be the first celebrity to pop into people’s heads, and he seems like a nice guy, so they might say “Mel Gibson.” In the same way, Microsoft is the first big corporation that pops into many people’s heads, so they said “Microsoft.”

Did anyone see who the big “winners” were on the People’s Choice Awards? The awards for “Best Star of a New Series” went to John Goodman and Bette Midler. Hilarious, because both shows were FLOPS! Goodman’s show had already been cancelled before the awards show, and Bette’s was dead a few weeks later. So, WHY did people vote for Goodman and Midler, if their shows were so unpopular? Because, when you ask a person a question like “Who’s your favorite star in a new show,” he’s likely to draw a blank. He’ll ask, “Um, wel… uh, who is there?” Given a list of names like “John Goodman, William Petersen, and Joseph Schmeaux,” he’s likely to pick Goodman, because that’s the one name he recognizes! (Never mind that he NEVER watched “Normal, Ohio,” but always watches Petersen in “CSI”).

So, if you read an article saying, “American people support Mel Gibson for President,” ignore it! It was a dumb question, and the answer is meaningless. Whether you love him or loathe him, Mel Gibson is NOT going to be the President, and Microsoft is NOT going to run America.


They’re already in the process of taking over. Might as well appease our future masters.

Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor, what are you thiniking? Disney?! They would make us forget everything bad and sugercoat the stuff they can’t make us forget! If they ran the country it would be to much like Big Brother in 1984.

How about Dollar General, or some other dollar store? With the low spending they have, the deficit would disappear like THAT ::snaps fingers::. Imagine the space shuttle costing just $100,000. Of course the quality of everything would be very suspect.

I’d pick the Chicago Reader. I mean, with Cecil on their side, at least the world would be a little bit smarter. If he’s still alive, that is…

Ryan W. Mead®

I’ll take a stab in the dark and say Merrill-Lynch. Fiscal responsibility and careful planning are good things for a government, IMO.

Though I’ll also toss in a supporting/sympathy vote (for LindyHopper) and chime in also for Apple Computer. One of the few American high-tech companies that still manages to innovate and challenge the market, despite the smothering presence of a monopolistic competitor…, of course

[sub]Capitalistic bastards![/sub]


Heck, General Electric and it’s subsidaries have their hands in everything, from platics, power and transportation systems, investment planning, Long term Care insurance.

They’ve got one of the most respected companies in the world, and its ranked well by employees. Jack Welch is a Mastermind.

I was sub contractor for them at one point, and I hated it, They could still do a better job than Congress.

You fools, don’t you want life to be more convenient?

With such products as the inside the shell electric egg scrambler and the Dial-O-Matic vegetable slicer, the Ronco corporation would be my first choice.

Ronco! What could possibly be more American? I like that suggestion.

Maybe the people who make Astroglide, since they seem to have their priorities straight.

Seriously, I think HP has a fine reputation for treating people (employees/their families, customers, etc.) well. And it would be cool to see kids learn how to use PCs in school instead of just Apples/Macs. I bet if HP took over, we would all become techno-wizards. God knows I need all the help I can get.