[ul]
[li] Spill coffee[/li][li] Double click. No immediate feedback --> dbl-click ad infinitum[/li][li] No response: begin pounding the mouse like a Judge pounding a gavel [/li][li] Now that every single mouse event is returning a system beep, scream at computer industry husband, for yes, it is his fault[/li][li] Explain problem as vaguely as possible[/li][li] Now is the time to lie about what specifically you were doing[/li][li] Husband’s calm demeanor is all part of the conspiracy; tell him so[/li][li] Leave room during explanation of problem, trailing clouds of expletives[/li][li] Problem fixed: no thanks are necessary; if you must, a simple “whatever” will do[/li][li] More coffee[/li][/ul]
She extends a topic until I’m reaching for the gun and putting it in my mouth, especially if i’s a topic I don’t care much for.
Her: Honey, what color should we re-paint this room.
Me: The same (I really, really don’t give a rat’s ass)
Her: No, I wanna change. What about this red or this green?
Me: The red. (for no reason, I want to stop this discussion, so I’ll pick one)
Her: Sure? I think the green’s better.
Me: Ok, green then.
Her: But you said you wanted the red, why?
Me: I dunno, the chair is red. (please, please, make it stop)
Her: So, you’d be Ok with the green?
Me: Perfect.
(Ten minutes later)
Her: Honey, and if we paint it blue? You like blue
Me: Nah, green’s great.
Her: Or we could go with the red you liked.
Me: Green’s great.
Her: I think we’ll go for blue
Me: Sure.
Repeat later for the different tones of purple (yeah, purple) she wants.
My wife always puts away the dishes when I’m writing on the computer or watching a quiet TV show. Only she doesn’t “put them away”, she SLAMS THEM AWAY. BANG! CRASH! DING DING!! Then the cabinet door. KA_BAAAAMMMMM.
Many times it startles the hell out of me, and I actually yelp and cringe as I look at the source of the (unexpected) noise. THEN she gets pissed than “I’m making a big deal out of nothing”. :rolleyes:
I thought at first it was a way to make me feel guilty about putting away dishes, but I think in reality she can’t hear the noise or it plain just doesn’t bother her (She is hard of hearing).
She is late. For everything. And it drives me nuts. If she’s supposed to be there at 5:00, she’ll show up at 5:15. If she’s supposed to be there at 5:15, she’ll show up at 5:30. If she’s supposed to be there at 5:30, she’ll show up at 5:45. I constantly remind her that it is rude and inconsiderate to be late, but it doesn’t seem to faze her.
She claims it’s not her fault; she is just “running behind.” In truth she has *extremely *poor time management skills. I’m at the point where I am going to set all of our clocks 15 minutes ahead.
Hey, at least she calls your name. My wife will start talking before she’s established that she has my attention or am even within earshot. But if she has to repeat something, it’s clearly my fault for not listening to her.
Ah yes. If I don’t hear what she said, I’m ignoring her. If she doesn’t hear what I say, I’m mumbling. Strangely it’s never her fault, even when she starts talking to me despite me being in a different room - on a different floor.