While over at my brother’s house one New Year’s Eve I witnessed some friends of his, a married couple, bitterly and loudly arguing about farm subsidies. The disagreement was helped along by the fact they were both sloshed at the time. My brother and I just sat there, sipping champagne and watching the spectacle unfold. When the party finally dispersed they were still at it as they walked along the sidewalk on their way home.
Once I got into an argument with a guy I was dating over whether or not Kool-Aid is good for you.
Sometimes when I am casually talking with someone I’ve met recently I like to ask them what the stupidest argument they’ve ever had with their spouse is. The answers are almost always interesting.
Stupid arguments with my husband:
- who makes ice more (based on a throwaway comment by him that he “makes ice ninety percent of the time” which is utter bullshit)
- who is clumsier (aftermath included small secret smiles when someone broke a glass…bumped into something, etc.)
My brother and I had an argument one Christmas about the proper ending of the Jingle Bells Batman Smells song…but I suspect that has to do with he is ten years older than me.
This is something that happened in the late '90s. I was working on something in the house, and my 85-year-old mother called me:
“Come and look at this. Carter’s grandmother is on TV.”
My mind was off someplace else, so I didn’t respond right away.
“Come on, it’s Carter’s grandmother!”
Now, I’m remembering when Carter was President, his mother lived with them in the White House. And she was probably in her 80s at the time. Just as I got to the living room,
“Well now it’s over.”
So I said, “They showed an old photo of Carter’s grandmother?”
“No, she was on live, they were interviewing her.”
“You do realize that Carter’s grandmother would be maybe 150 years old by now. I’m sure his mother isn’t even still alive.”
“What are you talking about? It was Carter’s grandmother, and she’s alive, and they were interviewing her.”
"His mother was in her 80s when he was President, 20 years ago. There’s no way his . . . "
“President? Who’s talking about any President?”
Then I discovered that the woman my mother saw on TV was the actress who played the role of John Carter’s grandmother, on ER.
I once argued with a co-worker that eggs aren’t dairy. She was (and possibly still is) convinced that eggs are dairy because they’re next to the cheese. I tried to point out they’re also next to the bacon but that doesn’t make them pork.
I have an older brother. I’ve mentioned him before. He was one grade ahead of me in school. So it was very rare if I drove the car to or from school. Rides in the car were hell because we brought some other kids to school and he loved to tease me when he had an audience. It was about a 30 minute commute to school so the start or end of a school day was usually trapped in hell.
One day, I don’t remember why, I was driving home. I, at my brothers insistence, took the freeway. I was quite comfortable driving on the freeway but there was a jackknifed tractor trailer and a traffic jam. Andrew, my brother, starting insisting that I pull out on the shoulder, drive down a steep embankment and get out of the traffic jam. Well a huge fight ensued and after about 10 minutes, I did leave the car. Just got out and walked. Ended up walking about halfway home when my dad came back and found me and picked me up.
It is kind of weird that he was able to find me.
(my brother did not get in trouble for that)
Someone trying to convince My Lord that a Tiger can beat a Lion.
I was in line at CVS behind a couple who were at the register. The couple argued about which type of smoking cessation product they should buy (they were stocked behind the counter along with the cigarettes). The argument continued, escalated a bit, and the line grew longer behind me. They eventually agreed to just buy a carton of smokes instead.
mmm
Whether or not it’s ruder (more rude?) to ask someone to move over a seat in a movie theater or to say no to that request.
So, did you guys ever decide whether the bonus to “scare enemy” was greater for having a 2-headed dragon behind you than for a 1-headed one, and by how much?
That particular discussion never got ugly, but anybody who’d heard us would have thought we were nuts. Or maybe “realized” is the right verb.
The dumbest one recently was on the bus, where two skateboarders were arguing about what constitutes teleportation and what does not. “That’s not teleporting! You don’t understand how teleporting actually works!” 
I have to say, that’s the sort of question that wouldn’t even faze the rules-lawyers. Is there a rule suggesting that a 2-headed dragon would give a bonus? No? Argument over.
No, the arguments tended to be things like, can you take weapon specialization in shield, wielded off-hand, using an ogre-sized shield with the monkey grip feat, and if so, how is the shield bash maneuver affected by the shield’s size?
The OP’s argument in this thread comes immediately to mind, since it was the thread right next to this one in “New Posts”
One day, the old gentleman I work for as a personal assistant called me into the room to settle an argument between him and a longtime friend. (They’re both mathematician/engineer types.) They had two battery packs for a cordless phone (basically, two AAA cells taped together in a housing.) Made by two different companies, but otherwise virtually identical. My boss said, “I say this one’s taller than that one, but he says they’re the same.”
I said, “Actually, THAT one’s a little taller … … but THIS one’s a little heavier.”
Well, they’re both guys, and they’re both wonks, so of course out come the calipers and the scales.
I was right. One millimeter, and one gram. 
I bet if we found the threads with the greatest number of posts, we’d have plenty of material for this thread
Who would win in a fight – the Hulk or the Thing. In our defense, it was back in college and we were all totally drunk/stoned/combination.
Any GD on guns or smoking.
That sounds like something that would have happened in my family. We might even have extended the argument to which set of scales should be used and their relative accuracy. My parents were both mechanical engineers and believed in teaching us kids the truly important stuff - like tool calibration and the importance of being at least an order of magnitude more precise than the occasion called for.
Yesterday: Hubby didn’t feel up to getting out of bed*, so asked me to bring him some cereal. After ascertaining what kind of cereal (“I don’t care,”) I get him a bowl of Cheerios. I brought the wrong spoon. Apparently, I didn’t look when I grabbed one, and brought a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon. World War III ensued. It was really, really dumb.
*Not being lazy, recuperating after a car wreck. But, by the time he wanted cereal, I had already changed diapers, fed the kids, walked the dog, fed him, brought Tony his medicine, answered the phone a couple of times, found Tony’s remote and phone after they fell under the nightstand, and swept the kitchen after spilling dog food on the floor. What I had not yet done? Finished a cup of coffee, or peed. I was more than a little peevish about the g.d. spoon. Perhaps more than I should have been… 
When I was in my twenties I had a friend, who, how shall I describe her… was very different from me.
Anyways, on day we just finished watching Bloodsport with Jean-Claude Van Damme. We’re having a beer and discussing the movie and of course Van Damme, and out of the blue she asks me:
“How would you react if we met Van Damme and he flirted with me”
“I’d be happy for you”
“What if he wanted to leave with me”
“Good for you”
So just for hell of it, I returned the question
“And how would you feel if he wanted me instead”
“Unacceptable, I would be pissed off”.
I’m shocked at that reply and say so
“You do realize that the chances of meeting him in Montreal are slim to none and that he would go for either you or me are basically none existent”
To that she kicked me out of her place.
We had a few more arguments like that until I exploded and banned her from my life!!!
I had gone camping with a friend who had never been camping before. We had a good time.
On the way home we passed some crappy little ‘antique’ store that Appalachia is well known for. He made some comment on how they could improve their business.
Now, I should mention that my friend had never held a job in his life, was loaded due to his wealthy parents, and considered himself a businessman based on the fact that his parents were rich.
I noted that the shopkeepers were probably happy with the way things are, and the suggestions he was making would ruin the quaint atmosphere they had cultivated.
My god, the argument that exploded took 20 miles to resolve and only ended because I pulled the car over and told him he could walk the next 50 miles back to college if he didn’t shut up. The guy had no concept of stores that weren’t ultra-modern or the idea that money wasn’t the end-all be-all to everyone.
We ended up good friends, but that was a weird drive home.