Well, not an arguement exactly because we weren’t really angry with each other. We tell the kids that we are having " a loud discussion". We were watching I Love The 70’s and they did a bit on Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I mention that I find the Oompa Lumpas veerrryyyy creepy.
Hubby:They aren’t creepy! They’re just doing their job!
Me:Creepy little slaves. Willie should have left them on their sideshow island and not exploited them with cocoa!
Hubby:You didn’t read the book! You can’t talk when you don’t know what you’re talking about. The Oompas were cool, happy little guys. You’re just prejudiced against little people!
Me:Yea! Creepy, orange little people who sing creepy-assed songs.
Hubby:I can’t believe you would disparage the little people. Read the book, then you’ll know!
This loud discussion was even better than the one we had about which way our son’s hair whirled on his head.
We had an in-depth conversation about the definition of a Secret Latin Lover. fizzy was upset that Johnny Depp didn’t qualify EVEN if he had a house in Spain or Mexico or Belize or wherever. The Backstreet Boys, needless to say, also did not count.
Generally speaking, my wife and I have a rule of thumb:
If, after kissing and making up, we can remember what the argument was about in the first place, we have not yet finished making up, and should return to the bedroom until the process is complete, or until exhaustion claims one or both of those engaged in the original argument.
Durned if I can remember what the dumbest argument we ever had was about…
Gunslinger and I venture in to Walmart for groceries and Christmas shopping.
He: Do we need a buggy?
Me: No, we do not need a buggy. A cart would be useful, though.
He: It’s the same damn thing.
Me: A buggy would have a baby in it.
He: You’re just a damned Yankee! It’s NOT a cart, it’s a buggy! Buggies can hold babies OR groceries!
Me: NEVER! You shall call it by its proper name or I shall demand satisfaction!
He: I will not bow to your whims! We meet at dawn!
Repeat every single time we go to a store that has shopping carts.
I told you that.
No…you didn’t.
Yes, I did. Right after you mentioned ______.
No, I would remember. You just thought you told me.
Okay. Why would I sit there, looking right at you, and think it, instead of saying it?
I don’t know, but it isn’t the first time. Anyway, you have a soft voice. I don’t always hear you.
No, YOU are hard of hearing. What should I do? Make sure you acknowledge what I say? Sometimes you just mutter ‘uh huh’, anyway. How would I know?
Huh?
Nevermind…
Heh - my ex and I once had an argument about the clothes I was wearing to go to the shops. In short, I believe that “going to the shops” is not an occasion which demands any of a) ironed clothes, b) matching clothes or c) an outfit which cost more than $50. She just couldn’t see it that way!
We were on vacation, and every night, my ex did this thing where he was flossing his teeth while we were watch TV and smelling the floss after each tooth. I have no idea why, but he did this every night for several nights, each time grossing me out more and more until finally I said, “Could you please do that in the bathroom? You’re grossing me out.”
Well, he flipped out in a way that was completely out of proportion to the situation, made very disparaging remarks about my person, accused me of humiliating him (when there was no one else there to witness this exchange), packed his stuff and called his friend to come get him at the cabin. I truly thought he lost his mind.
Yeah, it was a cipher for other problems. We broke up not too long after. Shocking, I know.
The other night my husband called me greedy after I offered to share my monetary Christmas gifts with him.
“Here, honey, take an extra $20.”
“OK, greedy!”
“Why the HELL are you calling me greedy for offering to give you spending money?”
“It was the way you said it. You sounded greedy.”
“How in sweet Sadie’s name could I sound greedy when I’m GIVING YOU CASH??”
BTW, we had gotten the same amount from various relatives, but he happened to need more pocket money this week than I did. I still don’t get how I “sounded” greedy…grumble
BTW, after so much repetition the word greedy has now lost all meaning to me.
Well, this one should be easy to decide. Why is it called “Chili con carne” (Chili with meat), and not “Chili con frejoles” (Chili with beans). Obviously, this means the beans are an essential ingredient, and the meat is optional.
The WryGuy and I almost never have actual real arguments. I can count on one finger the number of serious disagreements we have had in our 16+ years together. However, we have stupid, silly arguments five or six times a day. One thing he still hasn’t caught on to is that I will not make a monetary bet unless I am absolutely certain I can prove that I’m right. He once bet me a thousand dollars that the song “Dirty Work” was performed by the group Bread, and he did it in front of witnesses. And he knows I own the entire Steely Dan collection, because he bought most of it for me. Almost exactly a year later, in front of the same witnesses, he made another $1000 bet about a Christmas my daughter had or had not received years ago - and we have videotape that he shot proving I was right. Just a week ago, he offered to “double or nothing” on the $2000 he owes me, and his bet was that the kid who played Flick in the movie A Christmas Story was one of the kids on the TV show Mr. Belvedere.
I don’t think I am ever going to be able to collect, but don’t think for one minute I am not keeping track!
Which direction the dishes should face in the dish rack. We argue this all the time. That and whether I should put the toilet seat up when I’m done in the bathroom vs. whether he should put it down when he’s done.
