I thought this might be interesting to hear. The only catches are it has to be someone you were romantically involved with (straight or gay), and it has to be long term, not a few dates. It doesn’t have to be a current “S.O.” It could’ve been a past one.
You or your “S.O.” could’ve started it.
Then after you started the argument you realized or said to yourself, “This is the STUPIDEST argument I’ve ever been in.”
I’ve never had a relationship, but I thought it’d be a fun thread.
Getting rid of (trying to) a dozen or so quarts of homemade plum jelly. Plum jelly that had turned BLACK. 18 year old jelly. Jelly I wouldnt eat short of the next great depression. She doesnt even LIKE jellies, much less plum jelly.
I eventually “won”, but after all THAT MUCH expended mental and emotional effort to get rid of that little, I figured clearing out this crap castle was pretty much a lost cause.
We had a trailer park-style Walmart meltdown just this week. …Over which count of trash bags we were going to buy.
The night before a trip out of town my then boyfriends got furious because I refused to smell his shirt. Obviously there were other underlying issues.
A girlfriend woke me up once and yelled at me because she had a dream where I cheated on her. She was fully awake, and fully aware it was a dream, but still convinced that I was somehow responsible.
That happened to me twice when I was married. She even stayed mad at me through the next day.
I’ve done that. The thing is that even if your rational brain recognizes that this is completely illogical - the emotions are all there and have to dissipate. They can do that slowly, you can have a fight - but most people just can’t reason them away.
My wife and I got in a fight over whether a “garage sale this way” arrow someone else had put up pointed in the right direction.
Esperanto grammar. I win.
An ex did that to me. Wow, I wonder how common this is?
I had some pretty ridiculous arguments with my last ex and my current wife when I was still an Angry Young Boy™ (well, I was 22 when I met my wife) They generally had nothing to do with what I was really mad about and I don’t think I even realized it at the time. I don’t want to dig through my memory for examples but suffice it to say I’d probably win the thread :o.
Two pop into mind. Same woman.
She planned a nice weekend. I mostly enjoyed myself, and told her so many times. She still ended up being pissed because my “body language said I didn’t enjoy myself.” I had no idea. Even now can’t imagine what I could have done to make it better for her.
Same woman. We had broken up. We had gotten back together and were back for two weeks. I had not yet seen or spoken to some of my friends. She emailed them to plan a surprise birthday party. She didn’t hear back 'cause they didn’t know we were back together. She went ballistic when she found out. “If you can’t be bothered to tell all the important people in your life that we are together, then obviously I don’t mean that much to you.” These are old friends, but we don’t talk every week or heck, even every month. The last was the final straw. I decided that I would rather be alone than wish I were alone.
I’ve had that treatment as well, from a couple of different partners.
One woman I lived with had real issues with jealousy, so there were many stupid arguments. Watching Top of the Pops one night, there was a row because a MC Hammer video got played and I was looking at the dancers in the background; another time, I looked at a magazine cover with Neneh Cherry on the cover; while shopping, I happened to look in a shop window while two black women were in the store.
Stupidest one: I worked a pretty regular 6am - 2pm shift at a place about a ten minute walk from home. One day, after work, I did a wee bit of window shopping and got home maybe an hour later than normal. Knowing that my partner was a bit mental, I was expecting there to be words about being late. I was wrong.
Her: What are you doing home now?
Me: Yeah, sorry I’m late. I popped into a couple of shops on me way home.
Her: What do you mean late? You’re early!
Me: Huh? I finished at 2, like normal.
Her: Nah, you told me you were finishing at 4 and it’s just gone 3. If you were finishing at 2, why tell me 4? What were you planning to be up to in those two hours?
This is so beautifully written. I enjoyed the summary of your Stupidest Fight very much! Would read again! A+++++
He once took me to task for walking too fast in a wedding reception hall during the reception to get to our seats across the room.
When you find yourself saying things like, “well, just how SLOW do you want me to walk, buster?” you know you’ve entered into another reality…
I will confess to having the “he cheated on me” dream and being pissed the next day. I knew it wasn’t real, but seeds of paranoia can be hard to get rid of.
Oh, if you liked the summary, you would have goddamn LOVED a video! Screaming at each other like a couple of angry Iraqi women and wrestling the various boxes of trash bags in and out of the cart before storming out of the store. It was Satan’s Theater, I tell ya.
My late husband: we had a rip-roaring fight about whether Belgium was north or east of France.
Wow, I must be pretty lucky with my SO. As someone in this thread pointed out already, fights over mundane things are actually not over that mundane thing at all, but some other, underlying issue. Me and my SO seem to be able to quickly identify when this has happened, eg:
“Why are you getting so worked up over xyz?”, which usually results in the other one realising how petty xyz really is and… you get the idea.
We of course have still had some pretty heated arguments, but all of them were over fairly important issues.
Okay, so how did things get that heated over trash bags? 
Me: I think this shrimp might be a little undercooked.
Her: I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!
Me: Uh OK.
We had a small blow out partly because she had been having a bad day at work and when I made my observation she just lost it. We started fighting and then I stopped and said something like “You’re kidding right? This can’t be about these shrimp.” And we got to what was really bothering her. Fun times. 
If you’re looking for seriously good material, you need www.mil-millington.com I still pee myself every time I read the bit about the spilled gravy.
My personal best: He was upset that I wouldn’t order what he wanted at a restaurant, so that he could safely order this new thing that he wanted to try but wasn’t sure he would like. I, strangely, insisted upon ordering what I wanted, but offered to pay for the meal if he would just order both and get on with it, I was starving hungry.
Well, never suggest wasting money to a Norwegian male, especially on food. And NEVER mess with an Irishwoman when her blood sugar’s low. Really, never.
We wound up bounced from the place and ordering from the McDrivethru.
Never take a Norwegian male to a McDrivethru. It takes at least 17 hours for him to expound upon all the ways that the meal was both insanely horrible, and a direct metaphor for the American way of life.
Really, never.