What Is The STUPIDEST Fight You've Had With Your Significant Other?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

He wanted to put rotting bananas in the freezer to use to make banana bread “someday.” Except he never did, months would go by until I threw the black disgusting frozen bananas out. So I told him no, just throw them away, this is just your Grand Banana Bread Scheme again, the one you never follow through on.

It ended up with him throwing the bananas in the freezer and slamming it shut, and then me taking them out of the freezer, slamming it shut, and throwing them in the trash, and then him taking them out of the trash, throwing them in the freezer, and slamming it shut. Lather, rinse, repeat. I’d love to say that we realized the ridiculousness of it and had a good laugh, but it ended with him standing in front of the fridge/freezer to physically prevent me from removing the bananas and me storming out. The next day I took the bananas to work in my car to throw them out beyond any hope of his retreival. And I did think, as I drove along savoring my victory, that as petty as he was, I apparently was even more so. The problem was that in that emotional space, I was fine with that so long as I “won”.

We did make up but we broke up later, in large part because both of us decided we didn’t want to be the kind of people who would act that way.

22

I am pretty damn sure ours was ONLY about the damn Ming Dynasty Jelly, though I don’t know whether that makes it better or worse.

The fight wasnt THAT bad, but given the stupid nature of it, just about anything above perfect agreement seems pretty silly to me.

23

Last year my wife and I got into a screaming fight so bad she got out of the car and I drove off nearly before she closed the door. With our three kids in the back seat.

Over what started as, of all things, a disagreement of what the lyrics were to an Eminem song that was playing on the car stereo, one that due us never having bothered to swap out the MP3 disc I burned and stuck in there a few weeks after we got the car, we’d both heard a gazillion times. Never mind the fact that the lyrics were, in fact, something we could look up as soon as we got home, or even Google on my BlackBerry if I weren’t driving. Oh no. I was being “disrespectful” and “disdainful” with my tone of voice, as if after 20 years of knowing me, she hadn’t realized I am capable of being very sarcastic and incredulous when someone denies things I am sure are true, in the same way that flies are capable of landing on potato salad.

ETA: Yes, I had the lyrics right, because I had looked them up long ago and remembered them correctly, and I stand by my statement that what she was suggesting were the lyrics made no sense. This from the same woman who also insisted a Squeeze song had the refrain “The stain on my notebook remains all that’s left / Of the memory of late nights, and copy in bed” (as in, “ditto, I had you and then a cup of coffee in bed”), until I pointed out the freakin’ title of the song was “Black Coffee In Bed”.

24

Ah, a good geography arguement. I could get into one of those. Did you ever reach a satisfactory conclusion?

One of mine that comes to mind was the title of the first Harry Potter book and whether it should have been changed for American children.

25

Been married nigh a decade now, I drink and she doesn’t.

We have had some dozzies over the most trivial things, cause I’m a real dick about the micro-deatails. I’ll offer up “how to load the dishwasher correctly”. I think I win, but I can’t remember the details!

At this point, I would like to add that my wife is a freakin’ SAINT for putting up with me.

26

I once packed a bag and went to stay with my sister for a week because he bought the wrong kind of cereal.

To be fair, he was a complete dickhead and rather than being a totally isolated incident, the cereal thing was just the last straw. We aren’t together anymore (though I was stupid enough to stay a while longer after that).

27

We once had a massive screaming yelling fight about someone else’s breakup. It wasn’t the issues in their relationship we were fighting about, but whether or not they should have told us when it happened, or waited the day or two as they actually did. It was…bizarre.

28

I don’t usually drink and my husband does occasionally. I can’t stand him when he’s had too much to drink, he’s loud and overly emotional. We were at his brother’s and he got very drunk and was being totally obnoxious. I avoided him the whole night.

Later when we were alone he was mad that I avoided him and we had the usual discussion about how i don’t like him when he’s been drinking. Then he says that we’re not getting anywhere so we should go to bed. I say “fine”. He yells at me “Oh, so now we’re done because YOU say so?” We argued for quite a while more because he didn’t believe that he, himself, had called the argument off.

29

Both my mother and my grandmother have done similar things to me… Mom has also done it to my brothers.

30

This is beyond mere “stupid.” I once casually mentioned to my ex that I liked the music of Rachmaninoff. The conversation went something like this:

*I like the music of Rachmaninoff.

Oh yeah, he wrote a concerto for a pianist who had lost his right hand.

No that was Ravel; he wrote a very famous piano concerto for the left hand, for a pianist who had lost his right hand in World War I.

No, it was Rachmaninoff. I saw it in a movie.

Do you believe everything you see in a movie? You don’t even listen to classical music. I do, and I know everything Rachmaninoff every wrote. Believe me, he never wrote a concerto for the left hand. That was Ravel.

No, it was Rachmaninoff.

Look, it really isn’t important enough to argue about. Let’s just forget it.

You’re just saying that because you know I’m right.

Let’s just forget it.

No, you owe me an apology.

???

Come on, admit you were wrong.

Why should I admit that I’m wrong, when I’m right? Just to make you feel better?

Just to make me feel better.

OK, I’m sorry. Now do you feel better?

Say you’re sorry like you mean it.

But I don’t mean it.

*Then he just sat there and sulked. That had to be the stupidest argument I’ve ever had, and it only partially explains why he became my ex.

31

A very-ex once carried a massive dysfunctional snit through a six year relationship because a boy asked me out in A Level Politics. Ho ho! Ten years later now and he’s probably still mad about it. Issues. Subscriptions.

My imminent husband, who I love with my heart and soul and bowels, once accused me of “making [him] a cup of tea in an arseholish manner”. The thing is that he was right, but there’s no way you can fight your corner from a statement so ridiculous.

Oh, and just this week we had a basically friendly (but overly heated, given that neither of us have strong feelings on migratory geese) discussion over whether we’d ever visited a bird sanctuary. (I maintain that no, it was a hide in a zoo and that he is on crack, for those keeping score at home).

32

With my ex:

Me: “I wouldn’t serve regular pasta at a dinner party.”
Her: “What?!?!? You’re such a SNOB!!!”
Me: “I didn’t say others couldn’t, I just said that I wouldn’t.”
Her: “So you’re looking down on people who do?!”
Me: “No… er… maybe.”

Rinse and repeat for 24 hours, including much screaming, door slamming, a glass being thrown against a wall, and one party storming off to a bar on their own and ordering a stiff drink.

33

I wanted the 78 count. He said the 78 count won’t fit in the allotted space on the shelf and “we never buy the 78 count.”
(puts 78 count back and puts 24 count in cart)

“We ALWAYS buy the 78 count! It fits just fine.”
(Removes 24 count and puts 78 count back into cart)

“We don’t have the 78 count now! We have the 24!”
(Goes for the 78 count…I throw my body over the shopping cart)

“That’s why I have to buy trash bags again. You bought one that’s too small and more expensive!”
(struggles to hold ground over the 78 count)

“We’ve NEVER purchased the 78 count!”
(adds 24 count to the current 78 count in cart)

“You bought them ONE time in 21 years and that’s the ONLY reason we don’t currently have the 78 count!”

“Bite me.”

“Bite this. I’ll be in the truck.”
(Hey…the OP asked for stupid fights)

Note to self: Never grocery shop after a 12 hour day when you’re starving.

34

Wow. That’s awesome! A true classic!!

35

We were in a Kmart in Knoxville, TN, to buy some water shoes for me and VunderKind to go tubing down a river. Note that VWife had other plans while we were in the water…

The fight came when she insisted that I get a particular pair of shoes for me to wear, THAT WERE THE WRONG SIZE FOR MY FEET. I nearly ended the vacation on the spot, I was so pissed at her.

36

I once used the last yellow duster in the cupboard to polish some silverware. The cheek of me.

37

Our rangehood has a couple of flourescent lights underneath it and when we moved into the house, one of the bulbs was missing. SO asked if we needed anything at the hardware store. I pointed out that the bulb needed to be replaced. The conversation went like this:

SO: What bulb?

Me: The rangehood bulb - it needs to be replaced

SO: What bulb?

Me (walking over to the rangehood): The rangehood (now touching rangehood) bulb
SO: What bulb?

Now, it had been a long day, and I was freakin cranky and probably hadn’t got around to wine-time and repetitive question will send me off my nut at the best of times and this wasn’t the best of times…

Me (slapping at space where bulb should be): THIS BULB!!! REPLACE IT!!

SO: Nope, still don’t get it

Me: THIS BULBTHIS BULBTHIS BULBTHIS BULBTHIS BULBTHIS BULB!!!

SO: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Now I get it! I need to buy a bulb! You see, you said “replace” the bulb and there’s no bulb there to start with so how could I “replace” it?

Fuck him right in the ear with no lube.

Space where bulb should be.

No bulb.

What sort of fucking genius can’t work that one out.
I’m telling you, this argument has been going since 2004.

38

We had the Great Box Debacle of Christmas, 2003. We were cleaning up the debris on Christmas morning when we got into an argument about how many boxes we needed to save for future use; I thought we needed to save some, he insisted we already had enough in the closet under the stairs. This debate ended with him storming into the closet and throwing all the boxes out into the middle of the family room floor. I have to admit that it was quite an impressive pile of boxes, about four feet high, but I still maintain they weren’t the right *kind *of boxes. The kids will never let us forget how our screaming match kind of killed the Christmas spirit for the rest of the day.

39

So, apparently you were so tired and hungry one of you had a hankering for large quantities of trash bags? :slight_smile:

40

The scene: Me (suffering, at the time, with carpal tunnel syndrome, cubital tunnel syndrome and an impinged shoulder) struggling down the stairs carrying a broken TV set. I need the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs opening.

“Can you open the gate?”

Silence.

Maybe she’s in the kitchen.

“Can you open the gate?”

Silence.

I’m halfway down the stairs and my grip is weakening.

“CAN YOU OPEN THE GATE?”

Her: “DON’T FUCKING SHOUT AT ME!”