Stupid Bigots: In which I Pit the "History Test" e-mail

The BBQ Pit
1

So I just got this e-mail from a cow-orker. I expect it’s already made some rounds, but the gist of it is that it’s a history test. The questions pertain to various terrorist events, bombings, massacres, and so forth, with multiple choice answers; three of which are absurd (“Mother Theresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Jimmy Carter”) and the last, which is highlighted, bolded, and just in case you are terminally blind, rendered in a larger, bright red font, “Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40”.

I’m getting really sick of this shit. No, sorry, let me rephrase:

I’m getting really sick of this shit!

My collegues are a bunch of goddamned, xenophobic, hyper-nationalistic, fundamentalist Christian, jingoist, diarrhetic assholes! I mean, yeah, the company is a defense contractor; I kind of expect them to send e-mails telling us how we need to vote for Bush. I’m resigned to the “Pray for X” e-mails I get a minimum of three times a day. The company propaganda is a given of course. But this bigoted, “fuck the the sand-niggers” attitude belongs in Southern Missouri, not fuckin’ California.

Hey, you want to believe that the earth is 6000 years old? Good on ya, mate. You think we need to reinstitute the draft? Well, as long as you ship your kids out first. You think the UN is a front for a giant conspiracy against America? Whatever. Go back to listening to “Coast to Coast AM” and leave me alone.

But I don’t need to filter through your fucking bigotry on my office e-mail. I don’t need to see pictures of Iraqi people blown to bits, with a caption like “Achoo!” It’s not clever. It’s not funny. It’s not even human. Fuckwits.

And don’t even get me started on my cow-orker that thinks we need to neutron bomb Mexico “to keep ‘em greasers from takin’ our jobs”. You mean the shitty, sub-minimum wage, below the radar jobs that keep your textile, produce, and construction prices affordable, you hebetudinous asshole?

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

Hhhhhh.

You know, that $15 for a charter membership was the best money I’ve ever spent.

Are your cow-ankers as inane as mine?

Stranger

2

Just compose your own and send it around. Something like this:

Who in this list is not a white male?

  1. Ted Kozinski

  2. Jeffrey Dahmer

  3. Timothy McVeigh

4. That seditious Jew from Nazareth

3

Nice rant, I particularly like the use of “hebetudinous” (which I admit I had to look up). Any rant that results in me learning a new insult gets a thumbs-up!

I’m in a very slightly similar situation, where the majority of folks I work with (including my 1st and 2nd line supervisors) seem to be pretty conservative, where I am not. Thankfully, they manage to keep it out of the email system, or at least they don’t send this stuff me.

4

But he’s white (and blue-eyed) in all the paintings I’ve ever seen him in. :rolleyes:

Stranger

5

Last week, some mook who had previously contacted us about a job inexplicably started sending me E-mails of the type described by the OP (“time to take our country back”, that sort of thing). It gave me great pleasure to message him back with a polite note telling him not to send or forward any more non-business-related communications. I realize the OP probably does not have that option with internal messages.

6

:smiley: Ah yes, the “Ted Nugent” Jesus! My grandma had that one in two rooms in her house!

I couldn’t work in a place like that, or even frequent it. I just wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut.

7

So in a rant about bigottry you decided to toss in a bigotted statement of your own?

8

You should send one back with things like The Crusades, The Spanish Inquisiton, abortion-clinic bombings, etc., and have one of the choices be:

WHITE CHRISTIAN MALE EXTREMISTS

9

I haven’t seen this one. Can you post it so that I, too, may make fun of it?

10

This attitude belongs no more in the Ozarks than it does in the Sierra Madres.

11

I went to school in Southern Missouri, during the first Gulf War. I used to live down the road from one of those compounds that is someday going to be featured on CNN, surrounded by federal agents, with some apocalypic self-appointed prophet preaching that the time has come. I worked with roofers and carpenters, many of whom were so chronically drunk or coked up that they could barely stand up straight, but who saw fit to extoll the virtues of the “white race”. I went to church a couple of times, at someone’s invitation (and strictly out of a sense of politeness). I found a lot of bigotry, veiled or otherwise, that wasn’t much in line with the joe they claim to be their Lord.

So yeah, it’s a prejudice, but one born from experience. Not everybody there is like that, of course, but in my experience very few had anything but virulence for “those ragheads” in the Middle East.

YMMV.

Stranger

12

I’m not going to post the cursed thing, but if you’ll give me your e-mail, I’ll send it to you.

Stranger

13

Just what I was thinking. Excellent use of vocabulary. (Although I’ll mention that I had a pretty good idea what it meant. My mother’s a psychologist. )

Anyway…haven’t had to put up with evil e-mail but some of the things I’ve read on “Christian” wed sites have scared the hell out of me. Including someone who was offended at the sight of a Muslim family boating at a local park. Husband, wife, kids, out enjoying the sunshine…obviously they’re plotting something :rolleyes: . And scarier…someone else who said if they saw a Muslim man getting on a flight they were on they would lie and say he had been talking about a bomb. (So much for not bearing false witness against your nieghbor!) And a lot of other people agreed with them.

Yeesh.

14

What!!! Can you post a link? I want to see what these people said.

15

They’d be horrified if they came to our apartment complex, then. Lots of Muslims, including one lovely couple who like to take walks together and gasp hold hands! She’s even pregnant! I’d love to know what rules they’re breaking. And lots of great Muslim dads who play outside with their kids in the yard, or take them for bike rides down the main road, or are met happily by their kiddos when they come home from work. Yeah, they’re horrible, horrible people. Actually, the Muslim families in this complex are one of the few things I’ll MISS when we move into our house in a few weeks. They’re a damn good role model for some of the other families I’ve seen around here. They’re friendly and kind. I didn’t realize that was against the law.

E.

16

Make sure you send it to nine other friends at the same time, or you won’t get the full Good Luck Blessing benefit.

:wink:

17

NO!!! No Links!!!

We’ve got enough trouble going on around here today as it is.

18

This one probably won’t be far behind in your inbox.

My favorite cousin sent me the history test and the imam in prison bullshit last week. I sent them both back to her (using Reply All, of course) along with a couple of links to some educational websites.

It hurts that someone who I’ve always thought of as a good person perpetrates this stuff. I’ve always looked up to her – she’s the person I wanted to be when I was growing up. You’d have to look hard to find a more loving, caring, unselfish, non-judgmental person. She’s never said a bad word about anyone she knows personally. She finds good in everyone.

That makes it hard for me to understand her xenophobic attitude with regard to non-Christians.

19

You ain’t too swift, are you?

20

Okay, let’s amend the OP to “…attitude belongs in 11th Century Europe…” on the theory that there aren’t any Crusaders around who fell through a time-warp and are now lurking on the SMDB to be offended. And I’ll keep my prejudices about Ozarkians to myself.

Stranger