Stupid cleaning stories.

[theater_in_a_crowded_fire]

@Velma

The house I lived in during college had hardwood floors, the first time I had lived somewhere with them. After a while the stairs got really dirty and I decided to dust them. I used Pledge.

All was well as I dusted the bottom steps while standing on the floor, then I started to climb the stairs to dust the top ones and almost killed myself. Socks + Pledged stairs = slippery death. That build up is meant to stay on and protect your wood too, so it took a while before we could use the stairs without clinging to the banister for dear life. Surprised a few guests, too.

Along the same lines, my first vehicle was a 1978 GMC pickup truck with vinyl seats. Right after it was passed along to me I got the bright idea to spend the afternoon cleaning it up. I scrubbed inside and out and then went after it with the Armor-All. The seats were looking dull so I gave them a good coat along with the dash.
Sudden stops were quite an adventure until that gloss wore off. :smack:

[Savannah]

@theater in a crowded fire

…got the bright idea to spend the afternoon cleaning it up. I scrubbed inside and out and then went after it with the Armor-All.

I Armor-All’d the dashboard of my first car. Nearly blinded myself when the sun was anywhere but overhead. I could not see a damned thing against the glare off the shiny dashboard…

@Zsofia

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they’d never cleaned anything they didn’t have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right?

This is why one of the property managers really doesn’t like renting to young, male university students. Oh, sure, they’re nice boys, and their clothes are clean, but you just know… It’s pubesfelt time.

@Beadalin

There was an unlabelled bottle of clear, colorless fluid in the supply closet, and he wanted to find out if it was bleach or ammonia. He uncapped the bottle, stuck his nose over the opening and sniffed deeply.

Woke up an unknown length of time later…

Heh. Weren’t “smelling salts” ammonia? Weren’t they supposed to keep you from falling down?

[Freudian_Push_Up_Bra]

@Savannah

Heh. Weren’t “smelling salts” ammonia? Weren’t they supposed to keep you from falling down?

Smelling salts were usually a salt of ammonia - ammonium carbonate, not the pure stuff:

Ammonium carbonate is mixed with perfume to create a stimulant. The ammonia fumes from the salts irritate the membranes of the nose and lungs, which triggers a reflex causing the muscles that control breathing to work faster.

Link

So the ammonia fumes would irritate his membranes and it’d be like a smack in the face.

My stupid cleaning stories are just the usual getting halfway through and giving up!

[Dung_Beetle]

My grandma once told me a story about how she decided to get naked and scrub the bathroom with ammonia and bleach. She passed out and my grandfather had to retrieve her. I wasn’t going to tell it, because I generally avoid thinking about that story, but this thread just keeps popping up, and there it is again…the thought of naked grandma. shudder

[Zsofia]

@Savannah

This is why one of the property managers really doesn’t like renting to young, male university students. Oh, sure, they’re nice boys, and their clothes are clean, but you just know… It’s pubesfelt time.

Well, they did at least dispose of it. They could have put it up on the wall as a trophy. Or worn it as a hat.

[medstar]

@Zsofia

Man, oh man, you guys should have seen my boyfriend and his roomates moving out of their apartment this past spring. I mean, they’d never cleaned anything they didn’t have to, even the really anal retentive one, but they want their deposit back, right? So evidently one of them is supposed to be cleaning the toilet, and comes in from the bathroom with a… felted ring of something, held on a stick at arm’s length.

Pubesfelt.

Evidently, if you live in a house full of guys who never ever ever ever clean the toilet, pubic hair will just weave itself into a whole new textile under the toilet rim. Who knew?

Zsofia, maybe they should have taken the easy way out and just replaced the toilet seat. That’s what I do.

[Poysyn]

@ivylass

Yes, I too, as a young college girl in her first apartment who ran out of dishwasher detergent decided to use regular dish detergent in the dishwasher.

Such lovely foam, all over the kitchen and living room.

My sister did the same thing - but with laundry detergent. Such lovely white foamy bubbles, everywhere!

[Full_Metal_Lotus]

I was your typical guy, cleaning an apartment before I moved out…

I knew that the blackish residue in the bottom of the bathtub was anchored in lime depsosits… so, I dumped in about 5 cups of CLR and went off to do some other cleaning while it took effect on the nasty stains.

And I forgot it was full strength.

Later on, I came back, and decided it was time to scrub the residue out of the tub. I plunged my bare hands into the liquid.

For about 10 seconds I scrubbed merrily away, until my nails started to hurn.

turns out CLR also disolves finger nails.

Luckily I had a container of water nearby (the toilet bowl), so I plunged my hands into the bowl. I had forgotten about the toilet bowl cleanser I had poured in there. A lesson in chemistry.

My nails did grow back, and were not completely eaten away, , but the skin on my hands, was badly burned by a two stage chemical reaction.

Lesson learned.

I will never clean my tub again!

Grin

FML

[Harmonious_Discord]

This is sort of a cleaning story. The babysitter put Mr. Bubble in the wading pool for us kids. You should not be in contact with Mr. Buble, for hours in the sun, because you will break out in a raw rash that lasts for days after.

[35340]

@Harmonious Discord

I most add this once again for the person that use the wrong soap. Use fabric softener to instantly kill the foam. Remember that for when somebody calls you.

What about vinegar? That’s what we use for fabric softening around here. Or salt? I seem to remember something about salt killing bubbles.

I’ll have to whip some up (not in the dishwasher) and expediment.

Accidentally mixed bleach and ammonia here. Was gutting or cleaning a house with some friends. One person came through, sprayed the bathroom surfaces with ammonia-based supplies, I came through with bleach …

luckily someone was right on my tail, recoginzed the dangerous smells and dragged me out of there before I did more than mediumly irritate the throat and lungs.

Now I stick to baking soda and vinegar and boiling water for most cleaning. From time to time I’ll attack the mold that doesn’t scrub off with a bleach pen.

[Jet_Jaguar]

@Stout

Did anybody else ever figure out why the Armor Oil bottle say’s “don’t use on vehicle control surfaces” the hard way ? I remember an incident from my youth where my nice clean, shiny brake pedal caused me do give a small love tap to the car in front of me.

While a clean, shiny motorcycle is nice, do not use Armor All on your bike’s seat or tyres. Learned that one the hard way.

[Unauthorized_Cinnamon]

Here’s what happened when I decided to clean behind my oven. And the first response there also has a link to another fun story about a perhaps-toilet-brush.

Oh, and speaking of toilet brushes, there’s this gem: Ye Gods, Man! What The Bloody Fuck Are You Doing?