Spray your bath towels with Scotchguard to prevent mildew.
Float votive candles in your toilet bowl for a festive holiday treatment.
The second would be cool at a Christmas party. I could entertain myself trying to piss out the flame.
But then I’d flush. sigh
Always have extra lard available.
Because you just never know.
Is it a floor wax?
Or a desert topping?
It’s BOTH!
Save your used facial tissue. They make great pillow stuffing.
Laptop’s keyboard sticky? Soak it in Lime Away!
Attics are often dusty, moldy, and infested with insects and rabid wild animals. Rather than risk exposing yourself to these dangers, it’s much wiser to apply your insulation in a more accessible place, such as your driveway.
OK, I stole that from Dave Barry. Now go away.
Raid makes an aromatic oven cleaner. (There’s a real story behind that one!)
Attach cloths to your shoes to clean wood floors.
What would that achieve? Sticking a nail through a shoe and a cloth and into a clean wood floor sounds kinda stupid. Oh, stupid, I get it :smack:
OK, this is a real one I read in a magazine: “If you are out of coffee creamer, use whipped egg whites to lighten your coffee”. OK, is it just me, or do you see an obvious problem here? Like, maybe, the egg whites would make the coffee LOOK alright, but it would taste exceedingly strange! I guess they also think if you’re out of sugar, you could use boric acid?
Just don’t fart. :eek:
Um, putting eggs in your coffee-wouldn’t it get all sticky?
YUCK!!!
The egg whites would cook and you’d have bits of egg floating in your coffee.
I should add that the above link contains some swear words so may not be work-safe for some people.
Actually, whipped egg whites would be like meringue–not sticky at all, and would probably stir right in. I don’t know how it would taste, though.
For dusting those hard to reach high shelves, spray Pledge on your cat, and let it dust while it naps.
After five years, the dust doesn’t get any worse…so if you can last five years, you can avoid doing it forever. Wheeeeeeee!!
(Quentin Crisp)
I seem to remember a Japanese program demonstrating something along the lines of “baby mops”: attach a (dry) mop to your baby’s jumpsuit and let him clean the floor as he or she crawls around.
I saw a similar photo in a Japanese catalog of little booties (dry mops) that you can attach to your cat’s paws… so he polishes the floor as he flails around wildy in spastic attempts to free his feet.
Oh, those wacky Japanese.
credit for this goes to the previous owner of an apartment I once rented
Leave open cans of lard and bacon grease under the kitchen sink to trap cockroaches and other vermin.
Toothpicks can be washed and reused up to seven times. Your oven is the perfect kiln for drying them to a like-new hardness.